Wednesday edition - May 27, 2009



GOP senator doesn't see Sotomayor filibuster

AP- 5-27-09

The top Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee said Wednesday he doesn't foresee a filibuster against Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, even though he thinks her legal philosophy should be closely examined.
"The nominee has serious problems," Sen. Jeff Sessions...

Limbaugh slams Sotomayor: 'Reverse racist'

CNN- 5-27-09

While Republicans on Capitol Hill appear to be adopting a wait-and-see approach with Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is taking direct aim at President Obama's choice for the high court.
Calling Sotomayor a "racist" and a "hack"

Sen. Jeff Sessions says he doesn't remember why he opposed Sotomayor's appeals court nomination

MediaMatters - 5-27-09

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"There are some people who are saying that maybe Dick Cheney is setting himself up to actually run for president. You know, it makes sense. Republicans are looking for fresh blood, and Cheney just had some yesterday." --Bill Maher



North Korea tested another nuclear bomb. The fear is that North Korea will sell this nuclear weapon to some unstable, volatile world leader, you know, like Dick Cheney.- Jay Leno


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

North Korea Threats


 North Korea threatened military action Wednesday against U.S. and South Korean warships plying the waters near the Koreas' disputed maritime border, raising the specter of a naval clash just days after the regime's underground nuclear test.





"North Korea tested a nuclear bomb today. I don't want to say this is a big deal, but it actually knocked 'Jon & Kate Plus 8' right off the front page." --Jay Leno


Judge Sotomayor said she seemed overwhelmed today, and she said it really won’t sink in until she hears Rush Limbaugh say he hopes she fails.- Jay Leno



Disturbing News


"The other day George Bush gave a speech at a graduating high school class. He wondered why they didn't give him an honorary degree, but that's another story. It's interesting, he said he finds not being president liberating. Agreed." --Bill Maher


Republican-Shenanigans News


"[Bush] told the kids it's interesting the way life turns out, and now he finds himself walking the dog and picking up poop. Finally, something he can actually find. He couldn't find Osama, he couldn't find the weapons of mass destruction. If only we'd be attacked by dog s**t, we'd be OK." –Bill Maher


"Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up." - Sarah Palin


Rock-The-Voter News


Actually, the Republicans were a little disappointed. When they heard Obama said he might appoint a minority, they went, “Oh, great, a Republican!” - Jay Leno






"Osama bin Laden's former cook -- I believe his name was Goatgang Puck if I'm not mistaken -- is coming to New York to face charges. You know, we also got his driver. And here's the good news. I understand we're closing in on his pool boy and his aroma therapist. Yeah, we are closing the net." --Jay Leno

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Biz-Tech News


"They put a provision in the credit card bill to let people carry guns in national parks. So when you're buried under a mountain of debt, at least you have a scenic place to go kill yourself." --Bill Maher



Bush-Prison-Torture News

Gitmo Alum


 Seventy-four, or one out of every seven, terrorism suspects formerly held at the U.S. detention site at Guantanamo Bay are confirmed or suspected of having returned to terrorism, the Pentagon said on Tuesday.




"Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the other day that the prison at Guantanamo Bay has become a taint on the reputation of America. And that's what the Bush administration will always be remembered as -- America's taint." --Bill Maher

Go-F**k-Yourself News

Will the Pope Excommunicate Mel Gibson?


 Actor Mel Gibson, who is going through a divorce from his wife of 28 years, said on Monday his Russian girlfriend is expecting their baby.

"This is true," Gibson said during an appearance on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" after the host asked him to confirm speculation that musician Oksana Grigorieva was pregnant.


"Honolulu just conducted our nation's first all-digital election. This is so cool. No voting booths, people cast their votes online or by phone. Everyone here at 'Late Night' would like to congratulate Honolulu's new mayor, a piano playing cat." --Jimmy Fallon



The California Supreme Court today upheld Proposition 8, the ban on gay marriage, but that’s not all. The court also upheld Prop 9, which allows metrosexuals to continue using too much bronzer.- Jimmy Fallon



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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo




In this photo taken Friday, Jan. 30, 2009, Guy Negre, CEO of MDI (Motor Development International) poses next to an 'AirPod', a car that runs on a compressed air-powered engine, at the MDI head office in Carros, near Nice, southern France.
Photo/Lionel Cironneau





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