Weekend edition - May 27-28, 2006


Construction Sounds Heard Round The Hill
Hartford Courant, United States - 5-27-06
By LIZ SIDOTI, Associated Press. That was the "plausible explanation" a Capitol Police spokeswoman said officers were looking at ...


Attorney General prepared to quit over Jefferson probe: NYT
Reuters - 5-27-06
.Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and FBI director Robert S. Mueller III said this week that they were prepared to quit if the White House directed them to relinquish evidence seized in a disputed search of a House member's office...and would not be willing to follow a White House order to return the material to Congress.

Feds Ratchet Up Investigations of Congress
Los Angeles Times - 5-27-06
With grand juries convened around the country and hundreds of FBI agents on the case, Congress has become the focal point of the most aggressive probe into federal corruption in decades.


I feel safer when Republicans are investigating each other.


George & Tony sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G: your little lovefest has killed untold thousands, devastated a country, destabilized a region, and invited unending worldwide terror. HECKUVA JOB... -- Grant Gerver



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



"Osama bin Laden ... sent over another one of those videotapes -- chilling, chilling. In the videotape, he boasts that we will never find him or Jimmy Hoffa" --David Letterman





Disturbing News

Bush Misinterprets Himself


"Saying "bring it on," kind of tough talk, you know, that sent the wrong signal to people. I learned some lessons about expressing myself maybe in a little more sophisticated manner -- you know, "wanted dead or alive," that kind of talk. I think in certain parts of the world it was misinterpreted, and so I learned from that. -- George W. Bush, White House, May 26, 2006



"Down in Washington, D.C. earlier today, it was so hot. It was so hot in Washington that one congressman actually got into the freezer with his bribe money." --David Letterman


Republican Shenanigans



No Regrets for Shutting Down Washington DC


Congressman Jim Saxton, R-N.J., believed he heard gunfire and reported it, triggering a frightening afternoon in the U.S. Capitol...Saxton told Fox News that he did not regret making the phone call. In fact he praised the Capitol police saying the incident gave them an opportunity to shine.







“An agent posing as a dealer called and asked to speak with Jeff. Nicole replied that he wasn't home, but gave the man a number where she thought Jeff could be reached. An innocent gesture? It sounds that way to me. But to federal prosecutors, simply giving out a phone number made Nicole Richardson part of a drug dealing conspiracy. Under draconian mandatory minimum sentences, she was sent to federal prison for ten years without possibility of parole.” -- Walter Cronkite, former Managing Editor and News Anchorman of CBS Evening News – Discussing the injustice and human toll of our current “war on drugs”, in “Telling the Truth about the War on Drugs



House Leaders Admit They Aren't Above the Law


House leaders acknowledged Friday that FBI agents with a court-issued warrant can legally search a congressman's office, but they said they want procedures established after agents with a court warrant took over a lawmaker's office last week.



"As you may have heard, Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was caught on tape taking a $100,000 bribe and then the FBI found $90,000 in cash in his freezer. Jefferson said he didn't do anything wrong. He said he just fell in with the wrong crowd. You know, other congressmen." --Jay Leno








"Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he'll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison." --Jay Leno





"A jury found former Enron sleeze balls Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good name to have when you're going to prison. And Kenny Boy ain't too good either. ... I guess in prison they'll have done to them what they did to the stockholders." --Jay Leno


Biz-Tech News



Bush-Prison-Torture News


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"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. ... In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien




"Speaking of the weather, Al Gore has a brand new movie out and it paints a very bleak picture about global warming. Apparently, Ted William's head is nearly defrosted." --David Letterman







“President Bush told reporters that he won't see Al Gore's documentary about the threat of global warming. He will not see it. Yeah. On the other hand, Dick Cheney said he's seen the global warming film five times, and it still cracks him up.” -- Conan O’Brien


Go-F*ck-Yourself News


"Special Council Patrick Fitzgerald has suggested that Dick Cheney could be called to testify in the perjury case of his former chief of staff, Scooter Libby. Political experts say that even if Cheney is called, he is not going to stab his friends in the back. Shoot them in the face? Yeah. But stab them in the back? No." --Jay Leno




Radical Toons




"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -Kristian Wilson, Nintendo Inc, 1989






Subject: Broken Water Pump


Here's a little donation to help.  You are so devoted and courteous to your readers.  Wish I could say the same of our preznit.




Thanks so much Donna...and everyone else who donated.


My vehicle runs well now and I didn't get in an accident! On Thursday I was running an errand when I heard a clanging noise coming from my engine. I pulled into a rest stop on I-10 near Crestview, FL and when I stopped that greenish radiator fluid came pouring out.


As I was looking under my car a nice gentleman came over and asked if he could help. 


He determined it was either a hose break or the water pump and suggested I call a tow service. He waited until the tow service arrived. 


I love the South.


1999 Dodge Dakota Sport Pickup Truck for Sale or TRADE - extended cab - 80,144 miles, a/c, includes floor mats - great condition! Incredible sound system, you can be heard from miles away! Pretty new water pump! Make offer.




Search All Hat No Cattle

Web allhatnocattle.net



US Mail: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312

Odd News



Census of Marine Life (CoML) shows the tentacles of a 'rosacea', a type of siphonophore which was discovered by scientists trawling rarely explored tropical ocean depths. Scientists have found about 10-20 new species of tiny creatures in the depths of the Atlantic in a survey that will gauge whether global warming may harm life in the oceans, an international report said on Thursday. Photo by Larry Madin/Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution/NOAA/CoML


I hope you have a peaceful Memorial Day.