"Saying "bring it on," kind of tough talk, you know, that sent the wrong signal to people. I learned some lessons about expressing myself maybe in a little more sophisticated manner -- you know, "wanted dead or alive," that kind of talk. I think in certain parts of the world it was misinterpreted, and so I learned from that. -- George W. Bush, White House, May 26, 2006

"Down in Washington, D.C. earlier today, it was so hot. It was so hot in Washington that one congressman actually got into the freezer with his bribe money." --David Letterman

Congressman Jim Saxton, R-N.J., believed he heard gunfire and reported it, triggering a frightening afternoon in the U.S. Capitol...Saxton told Fox News that he did not regret making the phone call. In fact he praised the Capitol police saying the incident gave them an opportunity to shine.
 

“An agent posing as a dealer called and asked to speak with Jeff. Nicole replied that he wasn't home, but gave the man a number where she thought Jeff could be reached. An innocent gesture? It sounds that way to me. But to federal prosecutors, simply giving out a phone number made Nicole Richardson part of a drug dealing conspiracy. Under draconian mandatory minimum sentences, she was sent to federal prison for ten years without possibility of parole.” -- Walter Cronkite, former Managing Editor and News Anchorman of CBS Evening News – Discussing the injustice and human toll of our current “war on drugs”, in “Telling the Truth about the War on Drugs”
 

House leaders acknowledged Friday that FBI agents with a court-issued warrant can legally search a congressman's office, but they said they want procedures established after agents with a court warrant took over a lawmaker's office last week.

"As you may have heard, Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson was caught on tape taking a $100,000 bribe and then the FBI found $90,000 in cash in his freezer. Jefferson said he didn't do anything wrong. He said he just fell in with the wrong crowd. You know, other congressmen." --Jay Leno

www.anntelnaes.com

"Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he'll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison." --Jay Leno

"A jury found former Enron sleeze balls Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good name to have when you're going to prison. And Kenny Boy ain't too good either. ... I guess in prison they'll have done to them what they did to the stockholders." --Jay Leno

"At the end of last night's 'American Idol,' Ryan Seacrest announced that more than 63 million votes were cast, which is more than any president in U.S. history has ever received. ... In a related story, this morning Hillary Clinton bought a karaoke machine." --Conan O'Brien

"Speaking of the weather, Al Gore has a brand new movie out and it paints a very bleak picture about global warming. Apparently, Ted William's head is nearly defrosted." --David Letterman

“President Bush told reporters that he won't see Al Gore's documentary about the threat of global warming. He will not see it. Yeah. On the other hand, Dick Cheney said he's seen the global warming film five times, and it still cracks him up.” -- Conan O’Brien

"Special Council Patrick Fitzgerald has suggested that Dick Cheney could be called to testify in the perjury case of his former chief of staff, Scooter Libby. Political experts say that even if Cheney is called, he is not going to stab his friends in the back. Shoot them in the face? Yeah. But stab them in the back? No." --Jay Leno

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