Thank you for all of the fabulous Name That Toon captions! Winners: email me floridagate2000@yahoo.com

More winners sprinkled throughout the issue.

 "Actually, President Bush says an interim president of Iraq should be selected in the next two weeks. I'm getting the feeling there's not a lot of interest in that job right now."  Jay Leno

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam-News

• Ex-Centcom Chief Zinni Blasts Pentagon for War Woes Reuters 

• Bush to detail transfer in Iraq Everett Herald, WA 

• Four die in Baghdad blast Reuters, UK 

• Military denies top general saw abuse Boston Globe, MA

• Pages Said Missing in Prison Abuse Report  AP  

• Wedding Party, Aftermath Of Attack Seen in Videos Washington Post, DC

• Even bride and groom died' News24, South Africa

• Afghan Deaths Linked to Unit at Iraq Prison New York Times

• Norwegian Peacekeeper Killed in Afghanistan Voice of America, DC

• US warning over travel in Indonesia CNN International

• Zinni slams Jewish Pentagon officials Jerusalem Post, Israel

• Guardsmen Say Protecting Contractors Risky  AP

• Lawmakers to Probe Chalabi Spying Charges  AP

• U.N. Should Lead Iraq Effort-Clinton  Reuters

"Officials in Boulder, Colorado, issued a report this week saying that sex and alcohol were used to lure recruits to the University of Colorado. And the worst part? This whole secret plan was approved by Donald Rumsfeld."  Jay Leno

I wonder what brand of makeup Bush will be wearing at his speech tonight?

“The president is owed the finest strategic thinking. He is owed the finest operational planning. He is owed the finest tactical execution on the ground. … He got the latter. He didn’t get the first two."  .Ret. Gen. Anthony Zinni

Bush Bike

http://www.pbase.com/image/29259979
By Erich - Austria

"In the lead up to the Iraq war and its later conduct, I saw at a minimum, true dereliction, negligence and irresponsibility, at worse, lying, incompetence and corruption."  .Ret. Gen. Anthony Zinni

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a light bulb?

The Answer is SEVEN:

1.one to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced

2.one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb,

3.one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb,

4.one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs,

5.one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a light bulb,

6.one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,

7.and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Sent in by Doc

Camera hog, not a hero

Jimmy Breslin

Newsday

May 20, 2004

He was a nowhere guy until the planes hit the World Trade Center

buildings. He was a failed mayor, was Rudy Giuliani. He had a
commissioner named Harding stealing so obviously that at first people
couldn't believe their eyes.

Disturbing News

• Iraq war's financial costs spiral beyond 1991 Gulf War bill  AFP

• New Forecast Says Inflation May Get Worse  AP

• Security tightened on rail systems USA Today

• Survey Finds U.S. Gas Prices Up 14 Cents  AP

• Journalists Worried About News Quality  AP

• Palestinians bury their dead TVNZ, New Zealand 

Naked students ride the 'Nemesis Inferno' roller coaster at Thorpe Park in Surrey, southern England, May 21, 2004, during their attempt to break the world record for the most naked people to ride on a roller coaster. The group successfully set a new official world record on Friday with a total of 81 volunteers completing the attempt. (Handout)

Biz/Tech News

• Oil Steady Despite Saudi Output Pledge Reuters

• Shell cuts oil reserves again Reuters, UK 

• Labor talks continue at SBC CNN/Money

• Ex-NYSE Aide Seeking Deal Over Grasso CNN 

• Apple Patches Security Hole in Mac OS X eWeek

• Offshoring on the Q.T.: Companies fear bad P.R. By Marilyn Geewax, Palm Beach Post

• US online sales up 28 percent in first quarter: government  AFP

• Europe's Net File-Swappers Unfazed by Lawsuits  Reuters

Good News

• Prison Scrutiny May Spread to Guantanamo  AP

• GOP Infighting Rises, Poll Standings Fall  AP

Republican Shenanigans

• Group: Bush Muzzling U.S. Park Officials  AP

• GOP Leaders Leaving Sacrifice for the Generations to Come Los Angeles Times (subscription), CA

• Dick Cheney Due in Little Rock Tonight KAIT, AR

"This man is a terrible, terrible person who is just dragging down our country and all that we fought for. ... There's just 100 reasons why this president doesn't know what the hell he's doing." Buck Harmon, a World War II veteran from Olympia,WA

Email

good news:

a arab was appointed to the israeli supreme court.

a soccer team owned by an arab with both muslim and jewish players won the israeli championship, all team members draped themselves in the israeli flag, and will represent israel in europe, but team members are afraid of being killed by fellow muslims.

disturbing news:

the sunni arabs of sudan, within the year, have evicted over one million sufi darfurs, who happen to be black, from their ancestral lands, and killed over one hundred thousand, because oil was found on their land, yet no muslim nation speaks up for them, yet they are ignored by the un, bought and paid for by the saudis, this constitutes more displacement and death than the palestinians in the last 55 years, why the double standard.

in a very real sense, you adhere to a set of guidlines that will ignore facts that contradict your opinions, just like bush, and can condone violence and death and crimes, depending upon the the victim and the victimizer, no difference.

bye, finally sick of the hypocrisy.
 

I don't condone violence, except in self defense. Or tackling Bush in touch football. You must be new to my site.

I have 3 links in 3 different issues on the situation in Sudan. Click here and here and here too

 I missed the soccer story but did link to one on Israeli and Palestinian models at the Israeli fence.

Bye?  Where are you going to go to?

Nursery Crimes

There is a crooked man and he rides a crooked bike,
and as a child the crooked man rode a crooked trike.
His crooked friends buy him with crooked money, the louse,
so he lives in a crooked town in a crooked white house.

John Grant - Japan

www.seedsofdoubt.com

Today's Highlight in History:

On May 24th, 1844, Samuel F.B. Morse transmitted the message, "What hath God wrought!" from Washington, D.C., to Baltimore as he formally opened America's first telegraph line.

American Wart News

• Medicare scams prey on seniors Chicago Sun Times

• Almond Recall Expands to 13 Million Pounds  AP

John Kerry News Nader Advises Kerry on VP Candidates  AP Clinton says she could support Republican McCain as Kerry's vice president AFP Democrats rally in support of John Kerry Press Herald, ME  John Kerry lays one on local bride The News-Press, FL

Compassionate Conservative Parents

The president and first lady decided not to attend either daughter's graduation. Laura Bush said "it would just be a hassle" for other parents and students because of the security. Still, that did not stop Bush from attending a Yale graduation at the start of his term, nor has it prevented Bush from attending a trio of graduation ceremonies each year, most recently Friday's appearance at Louisiana State University. As it happened, Jenna skipped her own graduation to attend the Moonshine party with her parents, where guests consumed $12 entrees at the mid-priced downtown restaurant.     Washington Post

Today in History:

Ten years ago under the Clinton administration: Four men convicted of bombing New York's World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years in prison. The United States and Japan agreed to revive efforts to pry open Japanese markets to U.S. goods.

"You should have disagreements with your leaders and with your colleagues.   "But when it becomes repeatedly a question of questioning people's motives -- seeing the person you disagree with as a bad person -- we are not going to get very far in forming a more perfect union." Bill Clinton 5-21-04

Email

Subject: You're the best

Hi Lisa,

As you know, I am an avid AHNC fan and ardent reader (frequent reader, when-I-can donor).
I have been using the cartoons on my front door (in my condo bldg) for the past 2 months, changing them nearly daily. AHNC and buckfush have become known to the people who live here. Today, I had taped the "Bush the Hypnotist" on my door, when I opened AHNC to see the "Vacation injuries/oxycontin use" cartoon and laughed out loud !! I immediately copied and printed it and taped it on the door. People are literally waiting for me to post your toons on the door. I had someone (whom I thought was a Bush supporter) tell me he looks forward to the daily posts, and when something is up one day longer, he is disappointed. I posted a page of return address stickers on my door, with "Re-Defeat Bush" and "Bush for EX-pResident in 2004" on my door, with an invitation for people to take some and use them on their mail, I've had neighbors say thanks.

Also, thank you for the Ft Wayne, IN news item. I've been e-mailing Hastert lately, this gave me even more ammunition for my mailings to him.

Please encourage your readers to voice their outrage re: his statements about Sen McCain, and other obscenities of his, to dhastert@mail.house.gov  He must hear from people about these divisive and disrespectful comments that he supposes are patriotic.

Thanks for all the wonderful things you continue to put out.

Leslie - Chicago

Thank you Leslie <deep bow while saying AW SHUCKS>

Actually, producing this website is cheaper than being drunk to dull the pain during this Bush coup d'etat.

Good for you wanting to make your neighbors laugh!

Life is too short to be a compassionate conservative.

Are You Enjoying yourself at All Hat No Cattle?

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Keep the support coming and I will be able to hire someone (it's a secret, for now) next month!

Thank you to all of my fabulous supporters!

DeLay foe aware win would be long shot
Houston Chronicle, TX 

Odd News

• Mossad goes on-line to recruit spies

• Jury defends award to Moore's '9/11' Chicago Sun Times, IL 

• Pa. Lawmakers Argue Over State Soil  AP

• Where Did They Put Their Ticket Stubs?

• EBay Pulls Schwarzenegger's Cough Drop

• Jaguar fear diamond lost forever

• Book says Red Army destroyed Russia's Amber Room

• Case of unfortunate timing makes 'Doonesbury' look bad Modesto Bee, CA

• The Greening of John McCain New York Times, NY

In 2002, President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a landmark nuclear arms reduction treaty in Moscow.

Email

Hi Lisa-Do you think Bush fell off the wagon instead of the bike-or maybe young Jenna wacked the old man when he suggested she join the special MP Brigade in Iraq to help his campaign?

Semper Fi

Chris

I am so grateful that the War President is having such a good time during the war.  It really inspires our troops.

Maybe Jenna was POed that Mom & Dad didn't attend her graduation yet, he attended many graduation ceremonies over the past few weeks?.

Wild horses couldn't keep me from attending my child's graduation.

You might be a right wing republican if... you, your wife, your girlfriend and your three ex-wives all support a Constitutional amendment protecting the sanctity of marriage.

This painting by South Carolina native Jonathan Green, titled 'Eyelets,' showing a woman in a red dress heading skywards on a swing, the dress billowing beneath the white eyelet embroidery at the hem, will appear on this year's poster for the Spoleto Festival USA. The 28th season of the world-renowned festival opens Friday, May 28, 2004 with the traditional brass fanfare and a round of speeches from the steps of Charleston City Hall. (Spoleto Festival USA, Jonathan Green)

Peace.