Tuesday edition - May 23, 2006


Bush Snubs Gore Film on Global Warming
ABC News - 5-23-06
Is President Bush likely to see Al Gore's documentary about global warming? "Doubt it," Bush said coolly Monday..."I'm a grandfather and he's a father and this should not be a political issue," Gore said. "And he should ask the National Academy of Sciences … whether or not human beings are contributing to global warming."

VA boss: Data of veterans swiped
Detroit Free Press, United States -5-23-06
WASHINGTON -- Personal data, including Social Security numbers of 26.5 million US veterans, was stolen this month after a Veterans Affairs data analyst took ...

Halliburton, Bechtel could be factors in border security plan
MSNBC - May 22, 2006
By Mike Sunnucks. Two big and controversial corporate names -- Halliburton and Bechtel -- could benefit from mammoth increases in federal spending on border security. Federal and state efforts to bolster porous ...


Bush snubbing Gore --- is that Bush's compassionate conservatism or bringing honor and dignity to the White House? Can't Bush even appear gracious?



President Bush said today that he has nothing but respect for Mexico and its people and he will always speak the truth to them. Here's my question... When can we get that deal? That sounds pretty good! -- Jay Leno






The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


It's not what you know, it's if you know Bush


A 26-year-old college dropout who carries President Bush’s breath mints and makes him peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches will follow in his boss’s footsteps this fall when he enrolls at Harvard Business School (HBS).

Though it is rare for HBS—or any other professional or graduate school—to admit a student who does not have an undergraduate degree, admissions officers made an exception for Blake Gottesman




The Senate voted 63 to 34 to make English the official language of the United States. They say it's a largely symbolic amendment with no real effect. You know, like the Congressional Ethics Bill.-- Jay Leno




Disturbing News


Hallelujah Politics


A reverend who introduced Florida's Republican gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist during a breakfast with other pastors Monday said the Lord came to him in a dream two years ago and told him Crist would be the state's next governor.



"We are here to usher in his kingdom." - U.S. Representative Katherine Harris , 5-21-06 at the Sanderson Christian Revival Center




Republican Shenanigans



"A Senate committee on Thursday approved a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, apparently forgetting that our forefathers wore wigs and satin Capri pants." --Tina Fey








Jeb Bush

President Bush and Fidel Castro apparently have something in common: They both think Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is packing on the pounds





Biz-Tech News


The President is said to be working feverishly behind the scenes to get Wal*Mart, Starbucks, Trader Joe's, Bed Bath & Beyond, and NASCAR into Baghdad.  -- Grant Gerver




Bush-Prison-Torture News




"That's called, 'A Charge To Keep,' based upon a religious hymn. The hymn talks about serving God. The president's job is never to promote a religion." -- George W. Bush showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006


Go-F*ck-Yourself News




"Pat Robertson said this week that God told him that possibly a tsunami could hit the Pacific northwest this year. I don't want to be disrespectful, but possibly? ... Like God's thinking 60/40. ... Pat, that wasn't God. You fell asleep in front of the weather channel." --Jay Leno



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Odd News

Japanese farmer Seiichi Marumoto grows lettuce vertically using artificial light. The lettuce is cultivated with a perpendicular light panel in a bid to grow more vegetables. (Photo/Kazuhiro Nogi)