May 21  2003  Wednesday



Democrats sense a Bush soft spot
The Age, Australia -5-21-03

..."The triumphalism of this Administration, the President's comments and others' about al-Qaeda on the run has really exceeded reality.

"What's happened is we broke the beehive, but we didn't kill the bees, and we certainly haven't killed the queen bee."  said Senator John Kerry...

HUTCHINSON: Will Clinton's Plan to Beat Bush Work?
AlterNet - 5-21-03
... Whichever Democrat will probably still grab the usual 80 ... orgy of bashing and scapegoat of Green Party presidential ...  the Democratic contender can't win. ...

Kerry says combat record positions him to beat Bush
Sacramento Bee, CA - May 19, 2003
... at the first debate among the nine Democratic hopefuls ... nodded approval of Kerry as "articulate and presidential ... that his target was Bush, not another Democrat. ...

Today's cartoon was inspired by the fact the Democratic Party needs a creative ad campaign in 2004 that emphasizes the positive.  Bill Clinton never made personal attacks against his opponents and he won the presidency twice.

Zelda Morgan


 Dirty Laundry Done Dirt Cheap




Whales Tales


"I am doing my part to save the whales. I gave up exercising, and now I sell my ass blubber to Eskimos on Ebay." - Anita Beer at the Opening Reception Kickoff - Princess of The Project for the New American Century Beauty Pageant and Talent Contest.



Click here for WHALES TALES



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Ari "I lie thru my lips" Fleischer

The resigned pro on personal attacks

that got caught lying one too many times.



"We've had a great weekend here in the Land of the Enchanted."


 —George W. Bush, Albuquerque, N.M., May 12, 2003 (New Mexico's state nickname is "Land of Enchantment")



Pilot Sockstuffer

who likes groin straps


The word TERROR appears only 22 times but for dramatic effect and to make it easier for you we've changed it to TUPPERWARE.



"Barbara Walters will interview Hillary Clinton. I've invented a drinking game for this. You take a shot every time Barbara says oral sex." —Craig Kilborn



Sent in By Eric Zahler



Zelda Morgan's Mailbag

Hi Zelda,
Enjoyed your column today....thought of some more possible replacements for poor Ari...They are (drum roll):
Jessie Ventura...Hey wrastlin' aint all what it used to be.
Charleston Heston: Alzheimers has some positive side effects..
Pat Buchanan: Absolutely no questions will be asked....And he really means it!
Ann Coulter. Eva Braun w/o meds. and last but not least.....

Bill "the shill" Bennett. Odds are 5 to 1 on B2.

I would recommend someone with similar qualifications for Ari's position. Say maybe Jayson Blair or Bagdad Bob.

The suspense is riveting -- waiting to know which spokesperson gets to lie to us in the name of PresIdiot.



The reason Joe Scarborough gave when he resigned his US Congressional seat months after being re-elected


"My children need me in Florida more than 150 nights out of the year... make(s) you understand just why I need to come home sooner rather than later.
But know this for sure: I have great children, and they have a great mother."

Joe Scarborough- Florida Sun Column  click here



Scarborough has left Florida, divorced his wife and is now a Bill O'Reilly wannabe host on MSNBC in New Jersey.

My bet is he won't see his kids 150 days a year.

P.S. This was the US Congressman who had a dead female aide found in his office while the press was hounding Gary Condit who knew a missing intern.  MSNBC must believe he is a good messenger for their viewers and rewarded him instead of investigating him.


Where're Osama, Saddam and all those unused weapons of mass destruction?  - Lisa



I know how Bush can find Osama, Saddam and the weapons of mass destruction. 

All he has to do is put a blue dress on them and hire Ken Starr. -Lisa





The sun rises above the Caspian Sea silhouetting a

minaret and oil derricks in Baku, Azerbaijan, May 15, 2003




I hope the US coastlines won't look like the above photo.