TGIF/Weekend edition - May 2-4, 2008

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Bush seeks more food aid for poor countries |
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Panel threatens to subpoena Rove
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All salmon fishing banned on West Coast |
How about Bush putting some food on our poor country?
New breed of burglars steal gas, food - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

"President Bush is taking a lot of heat right now, with the economy. President Bush has just been accused of trying to avoid questions about the economy. Because during yesterday's press conference, he told a reporter that she looked good in yellow and then asked about her baby. Even more embarrassing for Bush, the reporter was Wolf Blitzer." --Conan O'Brien
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam
US military deaths in Iraq at 4065
2 Fort Hood soldiers killed in Iraq Houston Chronicle
`Miracle' Marine dies; badly burned in 2005 Iraq blast The Associated Press
Turkish army confirms air strikes against PKK camps in N. Iraq Hürriyet, Turkey
US drone crashes in southern Iraq, military says CNN International
Today's photo: Iraq five years after 'Mission Accomplished'
I Y Longshoremen
About 10,000 longshore workers that handle cargo along
the West Coast of the United States
stayed away
from work on Thursday in a one-day protest against the war in Iraq, union
officials said on Thursday.

Disturbing News
Federal agency declares West Coast salmon fishery a disaster AP
Winds fan fires in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, California AP
Storms kill 6 in Arkansas, damage homes around Kansas City AP
Just Say NO!
President Bush sent lawmakers a $70 billion request Friday to fund U.S. operations in Iraq and Afghanistan into next spring, which would give the next president breathing room to make his or her own war policy.
Finally, LEGACY ACCOMPLISHED:
George Walker Bush is the most unpopular president in modern history.
Don't worry, he can still turn it around before January. - Grant Gerver,
www.seriouskidding.com

Republican-Shenanigans-News
McCain Health Plan Could Mean Higher Tax New York Times
McCain says he'd veto farm bill over subsidies
John McCain gets tax-free disability pension Los Angeles Times
Subject: Have you seen this?
Lisa,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOl4iT46Eec
WARNING: Offensive word! Before any of you link to the above you may want to read this, in case you already haven't Book: McCain temper boiled over in '92 tirade, called wife a ....

THE "LATE SHOW" TOP TEN
WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
"Surprising Facts About Barack Obama"
10. My first act as President will be to stop the fighting between Lauren and
Heidi on “The Hills.”
9. In the Illinois primary, I accidentally voted for Kucinich.
8. When I tell my kids to clean their room, I finish with, “I’m Barack Obama and
I approved this message.”
7. Throughout high school, I was consistently voted “Barackiest.”
6. Earlier today I bowled a 39.
5. I have cancelled all my appearances the day the “Sex and the City” movie
opens.
4. It’s the birthplace of Fred Astaire. (Sorry, that’s a surprising fact about
Omaha)
3. We are tirelessly working to get the endorsement of Kentucky Derby favorite
Colonel John.
2. This has nothing to do with the Top Ten, but what the heck is up with Paula
Abdul?
1. I have not slept since October.
[As presented by Democratic
Presidential Candidate Sen. Barack Obama on the Thursday, May 1 broadcast of the
LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN, seen weeknights (11:35 PM‑12:37 AM, ET/PT) on
the CBS Television Network.]
"Barack
Obama spoke today about the need to send a man into space. The man he wants to
send? The Reverend Jeremiah Wright." --Jay Leno

Rock-The-Voter-News
Polls show voters drift to Clinton ahead of next primaries The Associated Press
Obama Wins The Media While Clinton Moves Up In The Polls

"Hey, did
you know this? It was 219 years ago today [when] George Washington took office
as our first president. And John McCain said, 'Has it been 219 years already? "
--Jay Leno
Biz-Tech-News
Bill prohibits bias based on genes San Jose Mercury News

Subject: Economic note
Hi Lisa,
Yesterday you quoted Hillary Clinton as saying, "People are net losers under the
Bush economy. They were net winners under the Clinton economy. We're going to
bring back a good, positive economy for the vast majority of Americans."
That made me wonder just how good the Bill Clinton years were economically. So I
imagined investing $100 in an S&P 500 Index Fund at the start of each
president's term since March 1957, when the present S&P 500 was introduced.
Here's what happened to the value of my $100 under each president (before
inflation).
Clinton $ 308.28
Reagan $ 218.20
Bush-41 $ 153.23
Johnson $ 140.49
Eisenhower $ 136.09
Ford $ 129.12
Carter $ 127.42
Kennedy $ 115.46
Bush-43 $ 104.95
Nixon $ 79.56
The results change slightly when you adjust for inflation, but the order remains
almost the same. And Hillary Clinton is right: after adjusting for inflation, my
$100 increased in real terms to $285.86 under President Clinton. On the other
hand, George W. Bush, with his feces touch, turned his $100 into $85.63.
If we want to return to a Clinton economy, that would be quite alright with me.
Hang in there,
Rick
I am so glad my readers are smarter than me or otherwise this would be a really boring site!
Thank you so much for the fascinating figures, Rick <----who does not have the feces touch!
"David Blaine today broke the world record for holding his breath, on 'Oprah' - 17 minutes, four seconds. Blaine has now frozen himself, he's starved himself, he's gone without sleep for weeks, and deprived himself of oxygen. Today, Dick Cheney said, 'See, it's not torture. It's magic.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

Bush-Prison-Torture-News
'Standard Operating Procedure': Clearer picture of torture Toronto Star, Canada
Report: Former Guantanamo detainee carried out Iraq suicide attack International Herald Tribune
Has Jose Had Too Many Steroids?
Jose Canseco, the former AL MVP who made millions during his baseball career, has had his home foreclosed.
Email:
Subject: So how was the graduation?
Lisa,
viewing your site for close to six years i feel i know you. may i be so bold to ask how your son's graduation went? it is so nice that you do not hide behind some clever madeup name and you let us know your ups and downs. i love you and your site because you are a real person, not one that just tells us what we want to hear and see.
lennie
Hi Lennie,
Sure you can, I'd thought no one would ever ask! (actually many of you wonderful people have.) After I returned from the hospital stitched up after bursting with pride, the graduation was fabulous. The theme of the speakers was that "we are a tribe" and FSU will always be there for us (I'm a Florida State grad, too!) My son received a dual degree in Chinese Language and Culture and Criminology. He leaves midsummer to study in China for a year. That said, I will be totally broke and need Bush's rebate check fast!

One of FSU's best standing in front of the cathedral to college
football and our favorite FSU Statue "Unconquered" The statue
was named to honor the Seminole Tribe for being the only
Indian Nation not to sign a treaty with the United States.
Photo-Lisa Casey

"And this week, the government started mailing out those rebate checks. You get $600, plus $300 for every child you have. That means so far, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have taken in over $44,000. Pretty nice." --Jay Leno
Go-F**k-Yourself News
DOH!

A 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious — perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators.
"Boy, it is hard to keep up with all these crises we have in America. Remember last week, when everybody in America was obese? Remember that? This week there's a food shortage. What happened over the weekend? Did we pig out and eat all the food?" --Jay Leno


Today is AHNC's Second Quarterly Fundraiser!!!
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Odd News
`DC madam' who vowed not to go to prison kills herself The Associated Press
Miley Cyrus Grounded by Disney? TMZ.com
A Rock Star’s Pig Is Found in Tatters
Woman, 75, gets phone call about her funeral arrangements AP

A general
view shows the Hangzhou Bay Bridge in Ningbo, Zhejiang province May 1, 2008.
China opened the world's longest cross-sea bridge on Thursday, linking the
financial and commercial hub of Shanghai with the booming port and industrial
city of Ningbo, the official Xinhua news agency said. While China is building
new bridges, the bridges in the United States are falling down.
Photo/Xinhua
Peace.