TGIF/Weekend edition - May 19-21, 2006

|
US Calls for New Ban on Production of Atomic Bomb Material
|
|
Venezuela stages mock foreign invasion |
N Korea preparing missile launch |
Thank you for all the wonderful captions!
David Letterman: “Top Ten Signs The Government Is Spying On You:
10. Post Office wall has several photos of you sleeping.
9. Your houseplant occasionally sneezes.
8. Domino’s keeps delivering to unmarked van parked across the street.
7. Birthday card from your mom has several words blacked out.
6. You get nominated for outstanding lead performance in an NSA surveillance video.
5. Your dishwasher functions are ‘wash,’ ‘rinse,’ and ‘record.’
4. Local news only reporting things that happen in your living room.
3. Every time you say goodbye on the phone, you hear a strange voice say, ‘Roger that, Chico.’
2. You googled a recipe for humus and the FBI raided your house.
1. Suddenly discovered an antenna bolted to your ass.”

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Italy Calls Iraq War 'Grave Error'
Iran wants accord but will enrich regardless Washington Post
Dang, just when the war in Iraq is going so well, Afghanistan has to rear its ugly head. So much for God being on our side. -- Grant Gerver
Disturbing News

Besides telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, die the GOP has done a fine job of getting government out of our lives. -- Zing!
Bush Pisses Off GOP Senator
Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner, who has
pushed a tough border security bill through the House, accused President
Bush on Wednesday of abandoning the legislation after asking for many of
its provisions.
"He basically turned his back on provisions of the House-passed bill, a
lot of which we were requested to put in the bill by the White House,"
Sensenbrenner, R-Wis.,
angrily told reporters in a conference call.

Republican Shenanigans
Giuliani Campaigns for Ex-Leader of Christian Coalition New York Times
When Karl Rove is indicted, I propose a National Holiday just for "Smartypants Liberals." (His term, not mine.) -- Grant Gerver

Ted Kennedy Is Too Dangerous to Work With. Who knew?
House members said that Mr. Rove had made little
headway and that most Republicans remained adamantly opposed to any plan that
leads to citizenship for those unlawfully in the United States.
One House Republican also warned Mr. Rove
"Every two weeks we will rotate out the National Guard? That's like starting a heart surgery and having the whole team of doctors and nurses leap up after every five minutes and switch. How are you going to be successful with that? I have a lot of concerns with it."
- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger on Bush's border proposalRock-The-Voter News

Senate Passes English Only. Bush Exempted.
The Senate first voted 63-34 to make English
the national language after lawmakers who led the effort said it would
promote national unity.
But critics argued the move would prevent limited English speakers from
getting language assistance required by an executive order enacted under
President Clinton.
So the Senate also voted 58-39 to make English the nation's "common and
unifying language."
Political signs in the Tampa Florida Area

Biz-Tech News
Oil prices extend gains in Asian trading Miami Herald, FL
ONGC, Halliburton ink deal on gas, oil United Press International
US Stocks Fall; Nasdaq Has Longest Losing Streak Since 1994
Housing Cool-Down Is 'Orderly,' Fed Chief Says Washington Post
Lay Defense Blames Machine for Error Houston Chronicle
Welcome to "The United Livid States of America" -- Grant Gerver

The Military Industrialized Complex aka USAF
The U.S. Air Force's highest-ranking officer and his predecessor are the subjects of an FBI investigation into the handling of a $49.9 million dollar contract for the Thunderbirds, an air demonstration squadron, ABC News reported on Thursday.

Bush-Prison-Torture News
Guantanamo prisoners attack guards trying to stop suicide attempts JURIST
Shotgun blasts quell Guantanamo violence Globe and Mail, Canada
UN: US Should Close Gitmo Facility CBS News
Catholics Condemn Condoleezza
Plans by a prominent Boston Jesuit school to award U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice an honorary degree are stirring protests by some students and faculty
who say her support for the Iraq war contradicts Catholic teaching.
Go-F*ck-Yourself News
Cheney Addresses La. University Graduates San Francisco Chronicle
Name That Toon Runners-up

This is a president...
This is a president on drugs.
Good news: The NSA just made it into the Guinness book of world records ! - Kari
"Wu'll, I've decided to have 'nuther cerveza . . ."
I'm the stupider... - Frank
This is my best monkey face!
“Where did I get my idea to put a fence along Mexico? From my trip to China. Why do you ask?”-- Jeanne
"It's not spying , you see? It's just keeping track of those who don't like me.--- you see?"
Body language? Lying? I think you are misunderstandimating my masculinite presence
I am proof positive that our Ancestors and Chimps crossbred.
Butt ah...
Lookit, I never said I was some kinda Jeenyus
Its hard work to think of somthin
We need to put TEETH into our immigration policy
No, my making a big deal about border security is not an attempt to divert your attention from the cost of gas. -- brian, charlotte
My impression of the amer-can voter. -- Sid...
Heh heh, uh...uh...in
other words......uh uh...
ee eee ee eh...heh, heh.... ooh.ooh
uh...uh...um...heh......9/11. - Paula, Indiana
"See, heers how it woorks,
yoo give me yur social security check, and
A'll see tuh yur border security. Aint thet how it works?" -- Jim
So this story ends with
the little boy crying out
wolf, wolf, help me, wolf, wolf, help, help...
and no one from the village comes to help him. -- Kevin
New Orleans Flooding Problem Solved


Donations are greatly appreciated.
Click here for other donation options
Odd News
Lawyer: FBI told of Hoffa site in '76 Chicago Tribune
Navy Divers Get Look at Sunken Carrier Houston Chronicle

Maybe China could build levees for New Orleans? This photo taken on Sunday May 14, 2006 and released by China's official Xinhua news agency, shows a distant view of the giant dam of the Three Gorges hydropower project under construction on the Yangtze River. There are less than 3,000 cubic meters of concrete left to be placed before the dam is finally completed on May 20, nine months ahead of the schedule, Xinhua said. The dam is situated near the Xiling Gorge, the eastern most gorge of the Three Gorges on the middle reaches of the Yangtze River. (Photo/Xinhua, Du Huaju)
Peace.