Thursday edition - May 18, 2006


World opinion of US sinking
Times Picayune, LA - May 16, 2006
In increasing numbers, people around the globe resent American power and wealth and reject specific actions like the occupation of Iraq and the campaign against democratically elected Palestinian leaders, in-depth international polling shows.

Rumsfeld Reveals Split Over Interrogations
ABC News - 5-18-06
... "There is a debate over the difference ... Richard Durbin, D-Ill., pressed Rumsfeld on whether there will be one uniform standard for interrogations, which he ...

Bush's tax cuts will reduce Treasury revenue, studies show
Contra Costa Times, CA - 5-18-06
... Bush signed legislation Wednesday to extend lower tax rates for capital gains and dividend income through 2010, he suggested that his tax cuts were behind a ...



Will someone please arrest these people before they do anymore damage.



"Conservative Republicans are very worried that there's no way to keep track of these illegal aliens. Yeah, we can't keep track of them unless they start making phone calls." --Jay Leno





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



From Clinton Aide to Carlyle Group Advisor


The United States could reduce illegal immigration from Mexico by helping its neighbor develop its vast oil resources, the former chief of staff for President Bill Clinton told an industry conference on Wednesday...McLarty is now president of Kissinger McLarty Associates, a consulting firm that includes former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger. He is also senior adviser to the Carlyle Group.



"President Bush called for the National Guard to patrol the U.S./Mexican border. The guards will track down and find illegals. That's not their job. They're trained to defend our country -- not track down and find people. Let's be honest, the Guard couldn't even track down and find President Bush when he was in the National Guard." --Jay Leno





Disturbing News


Get the Straight Jacket, Please


The Rev. Pat Robertson says God has told him that storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

The founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network has told viewers of "The 700 Club" that the revelations came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.




By Don Davis

Q: I’m as red-blooded American as they come; ride a Harley, got “USA” tattooed on my forearm and ass. But I do construction work for some foreigner who owns the local Seven-Eleven — is calling this guy a problem?

A: Since the clowns doing “call pattern analysis” don’t know a Sikh from a Sheikh, you’re totally screwed, dude.

Click here for more!





Bush Makes Up Another Word!



"We want to thank all the dudes of dudesses of the snowboarders who are here."  --  George W. Bush welcomed the U.S. Winter Olympic team at the White House, May 17, 2006

The ceremony wrapped up a three-day visit to the nation's capital for the athletes, who thought they had seen and heard everything possible about their Olympic adventure until Bush came up with "dudesses."

"That's a little different," snowboarder Kelly Clark said. "We don't really use that one too much."





Republican Shenanigans


TortuRepublicans -- Grant Gerver




Interesting column from Robert Novak

Hastert, who served with Cheney in the House for two years (1987-88), let the vice president have it in their private meeting. He said he trusted his close friend Goss, who had performed well at the nasty job of cleaning out an agency filled with critics of the President and his policies.


Rock-The-Voter News



"President Bush also said in his speech that immigrants have to learn English. The immigrants said, 'Hey, you first.'" --Jay Leno





Oh Joy, More Books by Misogynists!


Katie Couric may have gotten a little too famous for her own comfort.
We hear the sweetheart of the broadcast rodeo is the target of several would-be biographers, including Ed Klein, who last left his hatchet in Hillary Clinton's skull

Biz-Tech News



Meanwhile, Back in Mexico


Police enraged by the kidnapping of six officers club unarmed detainees. A bloody battle between steelworkers and police leaves two miners dead. Drug lords post the heads of decapitated police on a fence to show who's in charge.

Less than two months before Mexicans elect their next president,
many fear the country is teetering on the edge of chaos



“In fact, earlier tonight, President Bush announced a new program that combines the NSA and illegal aliens in a guest listener program.” -- Jay Leno




Bush-Prison-Torture News


"The other day in Florida, President Bush told his brother, Jeb, that he would make a great president. Then the president said, 'Any chance you can start next week?'" --Conan O'Brien


It's Time To Play Name That Toon!




Click here to e-mail your caption!



My mom would have wiped the floor with Teresa Heinz Kerry. -- Mary Cheney



Go-F*ck-Yourself News


"Senator Hillary Clinton is being criticized because she recently called today's college kids 'lazy' and 'uninformed.' A spokesperson for college kids said, 'Whatever, lady from TV.'" --Conan O'Brien





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Odd News



A baby flamingo keeps warm under it's mother's wing at the Cincinnati Zoo, Tuesday, May 16, 2006. (Photo/Tom Uhlman)