Monday edition - May 17, 2010




Deep sea oil plumes, dispersants endanger reefs

AP - 5-17-10

NEW ORLEANS – The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has already spewed plumes over ecologically sensitive reefs, part of a stalled marine sanctuary proposal that would have restrict drilling in a large swath of the northern part of the vital waterway.


BP's own probe finds safety issues on Atlantis rig


HOUSTON - The company whose drilling triggered the Gulf of Mexico oil spill also owns a rig that operated with incomplete and inaccurate engineering documents, which one official warned could "lead to catastrophic operator error," records and interviews show.

Federal inspections on rig not as claimed


LOS ANGELES - The federal agency responsible for ensuring that an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico was operating safely before it exploded last month fell well short of its own policy that inspections be done at least once per month, an Associated Press investigation shows.


"The state of Hawaii passed a new law allowing the state government to ignore requests for President Obama's birth certificate from the 'Birthers.' From now on, every future president should be required to be born on camera and in front of a national landmark.' –Jimmy Kimmel



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

Hooray! Iraq Saves the World Cup From Blowing Up!


Iraqi security forces have detained an al-Qaida militant suspected of planning an attack targeting the World Cup in South Africa next month, an official said Monday.


"Tar balls have started washing ashore in Louisiana. Meanwhile, the slime balls that started the whole thing are still in Washington." –Jay Leno




Disturbing News


Sarah Palin coming out with a second book in November, which is pretty impressive. This book was written almost as fast as the first book she didn’t write.- Jay Leno

John McCain Needs Sarah Palin, Not New Campaign Staff



It almost seems like a political tradition: the great John McCain campaign-staff shake-up. As the Arizona Republic's Dan Nowicki first reported Sunday, the top two staffers in McCain's Senate re-election effort — campaign manager Shiree Verdone and her deputy, Mike Hellon — have decamped.





Republican-Shenanigans News

Republican Values, Texas Style



 With the state facing a budget shortfall of at least $11 billion, Texas Gov. Rick Perry has spent almost $600,000 in public money during the past two years to live in a sprawling rental home in the hills above the capital, according to records obtained by The Associated Press.




Rock-The-Voter News


At a stop in Buffalo today, a woman walked up to President Obama and said, “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.” I’ll tell you, Betty White is out of control.
- Jay Leno




With less than six months until voters go to the polls, almost all of the most vulnerable Senate seats this cycle are in Democratic hands -- creating an unexpected wealth of opportunities for the GOP, which just 12 months ago was headed for additional Senate losses.




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Biz-Tech News




"According to a recent survey, one in eight people say they will not buy gas from BP anymore. Unless, of course, it's cheaper than the station across the street." –Jay Leno


Barring Noam Chomsky


Noam Chomsky, the iconic left-wing MIT professor and longtime critic of Israeli policy, was barred from entering Israel on Sunday, setting off what the New York Times describes as "a fierce debate" in the Israeli media.





"They got a new prime minister in Great Britain. Name is David Cameron, and he has pledged to protect the country from terrorism. So today, he met with the nation's top T-shirt vendors. " –David Letterman


Go-F**k-Yourself News




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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



A humanoid robot named "I-Fairy" (C) acts as a witness at the wedding ceremony between Tomohiro Shibata (L) and Satoko Inoue in Tokyo May 16, 2010. The couple decided to use the robot, which conducted the ceremony with its audio functions, from Inoue's company to perform the witness' duties as they first met due to common work interest related to robots.
Photo/Yuriko Nakao




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