Monday edition - May 15, 2006


Cheney's scribbled note adds twist to Plame probe
The Herald, WA - 5-15-06
WASHINGTON - The prosecutor in the CIA leak case said more than six months ago that he was not alleging any criminal acts by Vice President Dick Cheney ...

Bush to Propose Guard Troops for Border
Houston Chronicle - 5-15-06
In a move designed to win support for immigration reform from get-tough conservatives, President Bush plans to send thousands of National Guard troops to help secure the Mexican border

Mentally Unfit, Forced To Fight
Chicago Tribune - 5-15-06
Despite a congressional order that the military assess the mental health of all deploying troops, fewer than 1 in 300 service members see a mental health professional before shipping out.


Cheney may have oiled in his pants.



Official White House motto: "E Pluribus Screw 'Em" -- Grant Gerver







The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

More Covers Uncovered


A year after Bush administration claims about Iraqi "bioweapons trailers" were discredited by American experts, U.S. officials were still suppressing the findings, says a senior member of the CIA-led Iraq inspection team.

At one point, former U.N. arms inspector Rod Barton says, a CIA officer told him it was "politically not possible" to report that the White House claims were untrue. In the end, Barton says, he felt "complicit in deceit."



It Gets More & More Curiouser


Federal agents Friday searched the CIA offices and Virginia home of Kyle "Dusty" Foggo, the spy agency's No. 3 official who was forced to resign this week amid a widening criminal investigation into allegations of government corruption and bribery...Foggo spent 25 years in the CIA in several posts at headquarters and overseas, including Honduras; Vienna, Austria; and Frankfurt, Germany.


Disturbing News



"If the government has been monitoring my phone conversations, by god, they should be paying half of my phone sex bill."-- David letterman




Hillary Didn't Stay Home and Bake Cookies -- Laura Should


Some election-year advice to Republicans from a high-ranking source who has the president's ear: Don't use a proposed constitutional amendment against gay marriage as a campaign tool.

Just who is that political strategist? Laura Bush.




Republican Shenanigans


"The House of Representatives passed the $70 billion tax cut capital gains and it's all part of President Bush's 'No Millionaire Left Behind' program." --David Letterman


Rock-The-Voter News



"Are Democrats poised to re-take Congress in 2006? Joke's on them. By November, there won't be a Congress." --Stephen Colbert





Good News



"Mother's Day is ... the busiest long distance phone calling day of the year. Over 300 million long distance calls. And those are just the ones being monitored by the White House." -- Jay Leno







Biz-Tech News





Telephone companies no longer "Reach Out and Touch Someone." They "Reach Out and TAP Someone."-- Grant Gerver



Bush-Prison-Torture News


Go-F*ck-Yourself News



"Mommy, why is our Country so messed up? I'm scared."


"Oh, little Nell, don't worry. We'll all probably die from the bird flu anyway." -- Grant Gerver


Odd News


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