Thursday edition - May 14, 2009



Dick Cheney: Why So Chatty All of a Sudden? - Wed May 13, 2:55 PM ET
For a man whose public profile was almost nonexistent while he was a public servant, it's clear from his schedule alone that private citizen Cheney hasn't merely resurfaced -- he's gone on the offensive

Bill Clinton: Cheney should stick to target practice

CNN - 5-14-09

HERNDON, Virginia (CNN) – Bill Clinton jokingly laughed off a question Wednesday about former Vice President Dick Cheney and his recent claims that the country is less safe under the Obama administration.

FBI interrogator calls harsh techniques 'ineffective'
Sacramento Bee - ‎5-14-09‎
A former FBI special agent who interrogated senior al Qaida captives told the Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday that harsh interrogation techniques are "ineffective, slow and unreliable," and disputed claims by former vice president Dick Cheney and others that they helped uncover major terrorist plots.


Those of you who are residents of California, you can stop stockpiling food and water. You can unlock your doors again. Miss California is keeping her crown! So California is no longer rudderless. We have a leader.
- Jay Leno




The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

Obama Shrugs Off Snub At ASU


 President Barack Obama says Arizona State University officials aren't the only ones who think he needs to accomplish more to earn an honorary degree.

Add his wife Michelle to that list.

"I come here not to dispute the suggestion that I haven't yet achieved enough in my life," Obama said in a commencement speech Wednesday. With a smile he added: "First of all, Michelle (Obama) concurs with that assessment. She has a long list of things that I have not yet done waiting for me when I get home."


"Dick Cheney, the former vice president, said that President Obama went too far with the jokes at the correspondents' dinner. By too far, does Cheney mean like waterboarding a guy 183 times?" --David Letterman



Disturbing News





How about this? Anybody ever mail anything any more? Well, the price of a stamp is going up to 44 cents. Pretty soon, it will actually be cheaper and easier to just put a little glue on a dollar bill and stick it to an envelope.
- David Letterman



Republican-Shenanigans News


What a scandal we’ve had brewing here in the Golden State. You’re not going to believe this, but Miss California, a beauty contestant, posed for naked pictures. Her fate was decided by Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant. Trump says Miss California can keep her crown. Actually, her trouble started when she stated her opposition to same-sex marriage. And after noting that even President Obama does not support same-sex marriage, Trump pointed out that he personally believes that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a series of progressively younger women.- Jimmy Kimmel


Rock-The-Voter News



Blagojevich Gets Three Lawyers


Saying it was more lawyers that he's ever appointed to a case, U.S. District Judge James Zagel agreed this morning to let ex-Gov. Rod Blagojevich have three lawyers for trial and additional lawyers on contract for his trial preparation.
Zagel said he usually appoints one lawyer for a case.





"Finally, a 12-year-old boy has officially filed to run for president of Iran. They're calling it the craziest thing to happen in Iran since a woman drove a car." --Jimmy Fallon


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Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312

Biz-Tech News

Cleaning Up Bush's Mess


The Obama administration is asking Congress to extend its oversight of the financial system to include the shadowy market of derivatives, the kind of complex financial instruments that helped catapult the world into an economic crisis.




"The price of a postage stamp went up to 44 cents this week. Isn't that unbelievable? They said they had to raise the price because fewer and fewer people are using the mail these days. That's government thinking, isn't it? 'Hey, nobody's buying our product. Let's raise the price.'" --Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News


"[Water-boarding] is torture... Give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders." -- Jesse Ventura, who was water-boarded as part of his Navy Seal training



Take A Deep Snort Of Fresh Air


Spanish scientists have detected the presence of cocaine in the air of Madrid and Barcelona by using a new technique for the first time, a research institute said Wednesday.


Go-F**k-Yourself News


"John Edwards said that he and his wife are getting to a better place. He said that, after he admitted his affair, he took a long, hard look in the mirror and fell in love all over again." --Jay Leno



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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



A rabbi in the Israeli city of Tiberias has called for a boycott of stores that display mannequins in bathing suits, saying they "elicit sorrow" and damage the souls of passers-by.
Photo/Emmanuel Dunand




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