Wednesday edition - May 10, 2006


Harris' Warm Welcome Gets A Chilly Reply
Lakeland Ledger, FL - 5-10-06
Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said Monday that Rep. Katherine Harris, R-Fla., can't win her campaign to unseat Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson. ... Harris spoke animatedly for several minutes and kept a firm grip on the president's hand, he wore a grim expression and didn't display the jocularity he usually bestows on local greeters. Harris did not attend other events with the president, while U.S. Rep. Adam Putnam, R-Bartow, who also was at the plane, did.

Putin address avoids US clash
CNN International - 5-10-06
MOSCOW, Russia -- President Vladimir Putin used his state of the nation address to announce measures to boost Russia's falling birthrate and called for a stronger army but chose to ignore sharp criticism from Washington.

Baghdad April toll 'more than 1000'
Daily Telegraph, Australia - 5-10-06
"We received a report from the morgue about the deaths in Baghdad that 1091 people were killed between April 1 and 30," Mr Talabani was quoted as saying in a ...


It seems that Katherine Harris is getting her nose rubbed in it by the Bushes. Do you think she got the hint?



"In a commencement speech at the University of Oklahoma on Saturday, President Bush told graduates the job market is the best it's been in years. Well sure, look at all the openings just in his cabinet. There's plenty of jobs." --Jay Leno





President Jeb Bush


President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the chief executive.




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Katherine Harris Hears Voices in Her Head


Katherine Harris looks to God while awaiting the arrival of  George W. Bush.

U.S. Rep. Adam Putnam, R-Bartow , FL, and Jeb Bush are just laughing at her,

no further details available at this time.


Ms. Harris's troubles started not long after President Bush was elected. In 2001, as Florida's secretary of state, she raised eyebrows by encouraging agriculture officials to study "Celestial Drops," a product promoted by a New York rabbi as a cure for citrus-canker disease. In a test, the drops turned out to be useless.

In 2004, two years after winning a seat in Congress, Ms. Harris gave a speech describing a foiled terrorist plot to attack Carmel, Ind. Local officials later said there was no foiled terrorist plot. Ms. Harris said she'd heard about it secondhand....In private, Mr. Rollins recalls Ms. Harris saying God told her to stay in the race -- God wanted her to be a senator



Disturbing News


Graphic by "malaise".




Brownie Update

Hours after Hurricane Katrina hit, former FEMA director Michael Brown dismissed reports that floodwaters had breached New Orleans' levees, and he obsessed over media coverage of his agency, according to newly released e-mails..

The documents can be viewed at:


"President Bush told a German newspaper in an interview over the weekend that his best moment since he became president was when he caught a 7-1/2 pound fish in his own lake. See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off." --Jay Leno




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Republican Shenanigans




captioned by "vickiss"



It's OK When Republicans Do It


A furor erupted Tuesday over Housing Secretary Alphonso Jackson's recent suggestion that Bush critics should forget about winning government contracts.

After Democrats demanded an investigation into violations of federal procurement law and accused the administration of playing favorites, a Jackson spokeswoman said he'd made up a story about a would-be contractor who was rejected after saying he didn't like President Bush.

"It's not a true story. It's a made-up story," said Jackson spokeswoman Dustee Tucker, adding that he was only trying to make a point about how Washington works.


And just what exactly do conservatives conserve? The lives of service members? The Clinton-era budget surplus? Energy? The environment?-- Zing!




Rock-The-Voter News


The Cold Shoulder


After saying hello to his brother and straightening his tie, the president shook hands with Ms. Harris and spoke with her for roughly 30 seconds, with Ms. Harris talking far more than the president, who did not kiss her or put his arm around her or do anything more than pat her on the back.

An aide to the president said later that they were only speaking about "the weather," and a spokesman for Ms. Harris refused to divulge the details of the conversation.




Public Perception of the President and the Parties - NYTimes graphic







A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.


Sent in by Joi


Biz-Tech News





Subject: Dubai "What, me worry?"


in reference to your comment on the Tuesday, May 9, 2006 edition of

"So, the United Arab Emirates is going to make our military parts -- I
hope the instructions will be in English."

It would seem to me that there's really nothing to worry about. Our
military gets most of it's critical supplies from EBAY anyway.




Let's auction off this administration.  Saudi Arabia would bid high!


Bush-Prison-Torture News




Go-F*ck-Yourself News


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Odd News

A second cousin of George W. Bush cools off by eating a popsicle during a heat wave in Lahore, Pakistan. (Photo by Arif Ali)