May 10-11  2003  Weekend Edition

NAME THAT TOON CAPTION WINNER BELOW:  We received a ton of caption suggestions. Read a tiny sampling of other highly comical suggestions below.  Thank you all for the fabulous submissions. - Lisa

 

This helmet will be useful when I go through DT's AGAIN

 

 

  • Next Stop, Kennebunkport     (5-10-03 winner)

  • Who is that chicken-hawk behind those Foster Grants?

  • Vote for me in 2004

  • Seeing this president look like a dork.......priceless.

  • Plug me into Cheney's brain.

  • My Daddy bought me this!

  • Somewhar in Texas a town is missing their idiot.

  • Wow! What's that black thing with the prongs? --Andrea

  • No wonder I can't hear Karl whispering my speech in my ear. Now what do I do?

  • Jet ride to aircraft carrier for Photo op:
    $6 million - still being (and looking like) a true DUMBASS: PRICELESS

  • Yea, but this time I remembered to remove the lens cap.

  • NO! NO! Goddammit, turn the ship! I can see the coastline!

  • "There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity." Gen. Douglas MacArthur .... submitted by the Fab ZeldaM

US considers moving bases in Europe
Canada.com, Canada -
BUDAPEST -- The war to topple Saddam Hussein took weeks, but its legacy will last in Europe as the U.S. military moves forward with a plan that will see military bases moved from old European allies like Germany to eastern and southern Europe.
Although critics claim the U.S. is punishing Germany and France, American officials state that the shift east reflects new military realities.

Saudis Pursue Militants After Finding Huge Weapons Cache
New London Day, CT - By DOUGLAS JEHL  5/10/2003

Washington — After a shootout in Riyadh, the Saudi capital, and the discovery of a major arms cache there, Saudi authorities are pursuing 19 Islamic militants with ties to al-Qaida who now appear to have been planning a substantial terrorist attack, Saudi and U.S. officials said on Friday.
 

 

 

Zelda Morgan - ALL HAT NO CATTLE MERCENARY JOURNALIST

 


 

Damn Terriers

 

"So Cliff Baxter shot himself? Do you honestly believe he committed suicide? Nobody, nobody ever shoots himself while sitting on real, leather seats." -- Anita Beer at the Pepsi sponsored Pixel Pushers Pool Party
 

DAMN TERRIERS Zelda Morgan's Latest Column click here

 

Email Zelda at zeldamorgan@yahoo.com


 

Click here for the all new Zelda Email Bag!

 


 

 

Attorney General Ashcroft is visiting an elementary school. After the typical civics presentation to the class, he announces, "All right, boys and girls, you can all ask me questions now."

A young boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have three questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?"

Just then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground.

Fifteen minutes later, the kids come back in class and again. Ashcroft says, "I'm sorry we were interrupted by the
bell. Now, you can all ask me questions."

A young girl named Charlene raises her hand and says, "I have five questions:

1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why are you using the USA Patriot Act to limit Americans' civil liberties?
3. Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama bin Laden yet?
4. Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?

 


 

EMAIL:  JAN

SUBJECT: CYNICAL

 

-- Well-- it finally happened!! I am too cynical to care what is going on at the moment--I've signed petitions, donated money, marched........now I'.m going to sit back and watch the deterioration of the country my father gave his life to. Raising my glass for a toast------Sorry Dad--you obviously went through hell on earth for no reason! May the future generation forgive us..........

Jan.  Visit us so we can make you laugh.  These are difficult times. May I suggest visiting  my favorite flash movie HercuBush? http://bangzoomtv.com/  I really think Mel Brooks produced it. It always makes me laugh. I call it visual psychotherapy.

 

Here's a BONUS CARTOON   Lisa

Remember the South Carolina republican primary in  2000? I remember Bush supporters bashing John McCain's POW status during Vietnam. Talk radio was rabid.  Bush feared McCain so much that  he let his "compassionate conservatives" loose to feast upon McCain.  It began in South Carolina and never stopped.  Bush should thank that state.

 QUOTES

"Madonna performed a private concert in Paris to thank France for opposing the war. I'm not calling her Madonna anymore, I'm calling her Freedom Slut." —Craig Kilborn

 

"Democrats are very upset that President Bush flew onto that aircraft carrier dressed as a fighter pilot. They said it was just a campaign stunt. But I don't know. Before that he visited that Boeing plant and put on a construction hat. And then he went to his ranch and put on a cowboy hat. Then last week he met with cops and put on a motorcycle hat. I think he's trying to join the Village People." —Jay Leno

Jay, you could have said "All HatS No Cattle", too!

                  

 

"I think war is a dangerous place." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003

 

Is that why you protected Texas from Mexico during the Vietnam war?

 

 

It's a game. We [tax lawyers] teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich--and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them. - John Grisham

Yep, gotta get that tax cut!

 

This photograph of the coil-shaped Helix Nebula is one of the largest and most detailed celestial images ever made. The image shows a fine web of filamentary 'bicycle-spoke' features embedded in the colorful red and blue ring of gas. At 650 light-years away, the Helix is one of the nearest planetary nebulae to Earth. A planetary nebula is the glowing gas around a dying, Sun-like star. NASA Photo
 

Peace.  We are being watched over.


 

cya   .