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TGIF/Weekend edition - May 1-3, 2009
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http://ltsaloon.org/
"Hey, have
you all started making your summer vacation plans? I'm not sure what to do this
year. I'm stuck between a Somali pirate cruise or a trip to a Mexican pig farm."
--Jay Leno
http://ltsaloon.org/
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
"But, hey,
people are very worried about this swine flu epidemic, but the best course of
action is prevention. Like, if you go to IHOP and you order the pigs in the
blanket, and you notice they're coughing, you don't want to eat that." --Jay
Leno
Condi Caught Being Condescending
While Vice President Cheney
has publicly defended the Bush administration's use of enhanced interrogation
techniques such as waterboarding, other senior decision-makers at the time have
remained silent. But former secretary of State and national security adviser
Condoleezza Rice -- who declined to comment last week on the release of Justice
Department memos authorizing the practice -- was caught on video tape this week
giving a finger-wagging defense to a persistent Stanford University student.
Disturbing News
Senate Helps Banks, Not Homeowners
The Senate
handed a
victory to the banking industry on Thursday, defeating a Democratic proposal
that would have given homeowners in financial trouble greater flexibility to
renegotiate the terms of their mortgages.
"They said
today you cannot get swine flu from eating pork, which, of course, raises the
question, so what were these guys doing with the pig?" --Jay Leno
Republican-Shenanigans News
Who's Afraid Of Virginia Foxx?
Yet Another Right Wing Racist!
Jay Severin, the fiery right
wing talk show host on Boston's WTKK-FM radio station, was suspended yesterday
after
calling Mexican immigrants "criminaliens," "primitives," "leeches," and
exporters of "women with mustaches and VD," among other incendiary comments.
"Seventy-nine-year-old Arlen Specter is now switching to the Democratic Party,
which is a big loss for Republicans. You know, when they lose that young blood,
it hurts." --Jay Leno
Rock-The-Voter News
Harriet Miers is all a dither
about her second chance for a Supreme Court nomination.
- Grant "Bud" Gerver
"The
President held a press conference tonight in prime time. All the major networks
carried it, except Fox. They ran the show 'Lie to Me' instead of the president.
Fox is something -- they killed President David Palmer off '24,' they put his
brother, President Wayne Palmer, into a permanent coma, and now this. What does
Fox have against black Presidents?" --Jimmy Kimmel
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
"Today was
President Obama's 100th day in office. Isn't that amazing? Actually, when you
think about it, George W. Bush was president for eight years, and he never came
close to spending 100 days in the office. So, we're way ahead." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Remember,
it's not torture if you call it "interrogation techniques."
- Grant "Bud" Gerver
AHNC Weekend Commentary
It’s hard to believe how far right
the right has turned. Riiiight!
Remember: You read it here first.
Sean Hannity has reneged – as predicted by AHNC seven days ago – on his recent
statement that he would undergo waterboarding because “it is not torture.”
AHNC commented last weekend that Hannity’s lame attempt at uber-patriotism would
backfire because he is both cowardly and stupid. AHNC predicted that he never
would submit to the simulated drowning practice that has been dubbed an
“enhanced interrogation technique” by extremist right-wingers. (The practice was
invented by the Spanish Inquisition and refined by the People’s Republic of
China, which practiced it on U.S. prisoners during the Korean War. The United
States considered it torture then.)
True to form, Hannity has backed down. Another chicken hawk proving that he is
just plain chicken shit.
That, however, has not prevented his defenders and fellow travelers of the far
right from rising to the defense of their outspoken, misspoken and poorly spoken
talking head from FOX “news”.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck of ABC’s “The View” said Hannity didn’t really mean what he
said. He was just talking, just conversing.
That sounds like an explanation for most of what Hannity says. Opens mouth,
inserts foot, thinks about it later. Or maybe he doesn’t think about it – before
or after.
Then former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice offered her well-reasoned and
deeply intellectual opinion that waterboarding of terrorism suspects and
prisoners taken during the Iraq war was not torture because then-President
George W. Bush approved it. This fool should have her bachelor’s and graduate
degrees revoked by the institutions that awarded them.
But it gets better. The implosion of the Republican Party continued unabated as
the week went on.
A matronly, middle-aged and stridently anti-gay Republican Congresswoman from
North Carolina declared that the hate-crime murder several years ago of a gay
man in Wyoming was – “as we all know” – the result of his being involved in a
robbery. She forgot to mention that he was the victim of the robbery, and that
his killers selected him because he was gay. And she spewed out her venomous
bile while the mother of the victim sat in the audience.
And let’s not forget Michelle Bachmann. The far-right Congresswoman from
Minnesota was caught babbling – again – on the floor of the House of
Representatives this week about the swine flu virus and the need for
protectionist trade practices.
As usual, the starry-eyed mental lightweight erroneously stated that the last
time swine flu hit the United States was under the presidency of Jimmy Carter.
(It was during the administration of Republican President Gerald Ford.)
Then Bachmann made reference to the “Hoot-Smally Act” that increased trade
protectionism. She said it was passed during the presidency of Franklin Delano
Roosevelt and that it contributed greatly to the Great Depression.
She was wrong on two of three counts. The Smoot-Hawley Act (named for its two
Republican sponsors) was passed under Republican President Herbert Hoover. It
did contribute to the Great Depression, most economists agree, because is
reduced trade.
But we don’t want to confuse these right-wing nuts with a recitation of
historical facts. We just want to see Hannity live up to to his commitment.
Then we want to see pigs fly.
Sent in by Dennis
Thank you all for your get well wishes. I'm feeling a little bit better except for the spaciness. [insert dumb blonde joke here]
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO
Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
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comment
Odd News
To Help You Deflate Photo
Indian
Bollywood film actors Aishwariya Rai Bachchan(L), Amitabh Bachchan (C) and
Abhishek Bachchan display their ink-marked fingers after casting their vote at a
polling booth in Mumbai for the country's elections.
Photo/Str
Peace.
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