Tuesday edition - April 7, 2009




Poll: Obama Approval Hits New High - 66%
WCTV - ‎4-7-09
Reporter: AP (CBS) As President Obama concludes his well-publicized trip to Europe, Americans are more positive about the respect accorded to a US president...


Hundreds protest Notre Dame honor for Obama
Chicago Sun-Times - ‎4-7-09
FROM AP SOUTH BEND, Ind. - Hundreds of anti-abortion advocates protested Sunday on the University of Notre Dame campus against the school’s decision to award an honorary degree to President Barack Obama

Poll: 74 Percent Support Higher Taxes On The Rich
CBS News - ‎4-7-09
Almost three-quarters of Americans think it is a good idea to raise taxes on people making more than $250000 per year, according to the latest CBS News/New


"Michelle Obama was photographed in London wearing clothes from J-Crew, the store is selling out of the clothes she's been wearing. Now if someone could just get her to drive a Chrysler." --Seth Meyers



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam




Turkish police have arrested a man who claimed he was plotting to kill President Barack Obama during his visit to Turkey.

The Secret Service in Washington said Monday night that Turkish National Police arrested the man last Friday in Istanbul.

Secret Service spokesman Ed Donovan said the president was never in any immediate danger.


"The Taliban has decided to modernize a little bit. They're going to stop measuring the lengths of mens' beards. I'm proud of those guys. I couldn't be happier. Oh wait, I know how I could be happier: if they stopped trying to murder us." --Jimmy Fallon



Disturbing News


"When I make a joke about Obama, it's not about all black people. When I make a joke about George W. Bush, it's not a swipe against all retarded people."- Bill Maher




The problem in the Republican Party is not the conservatives or not conservative; it's just rapidly becoming the party of the white, Southern evangelicals. And that party can't win elections. – Sam Donaldson


Obama's In Baghdad



President Obama made a surprise visit to Iraq Tuesday, according to a journalist traveling with him.



Republican-Shenanigans News


My retirement fund has lost so much value, it's now a 401K-Mart." --David Letterman

Air Space Intervention


The Canadian man who led fighter jets on a chase across six states yesterday flew his stolen plane into the U.S. in hopes the military would shoot him down and kill him, according to a Missouri state trooper who apprehended the rogue pilot.





Rock-The-Voter News

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To


The Democrats and Republicans both came out on top in voting for the not-so-glamorous 2009 Muzzle Awards handed out by the Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression.




"First Lady Michelle Obama is a huge hit in England. There was a bit of controversy when she put her hand on the Queen's back. The Queen took it as a gesture of friendship, but I think Michelle went a little too far when she tried to feed Camilla a carrot." --Jay Leno


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Biz-Tech News


"Conservatives aren't happy with Obama because he basically fired the CEO of General Motors, and they said he's interfering with private industry's ability to run our country into the ground." --Bill Maher




Here’s a sign of the times are a-changin’. The governor of Virginia has signed a new law banning smoking in bars and restaurants. In Virginia. See, that’s significant because Virginia is, like, the tobacco state. That would be like the governor of California banning breast implants.- Jay Leno


Bush-Prison-Torture News


"We all say crazy stuff when we're high." - Bill Maher commenting on Rush Limbaugh wanting the president to fail





Go-F**k-Yourself News


"No one is happier about tax season this year than the Octomom -- Nadya Suleman. Think about it, she's got 14 dependents and zero income, she will make 40 grand just for filling out her tax form!"- Jimmy Kimmel




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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo





This General Motors handout shows an electric two-wheeled two-seat prototype vehicle developed by GM and Segway, which could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly, and at a lower total cost. The collaboration has been dubbed Project PUMA(Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility).
Photo/GM-HO/Emile Wamsteker






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