Thursday edition - April 30, 2009




Limbaugh to Specter: Please take McCain with you

CNN -4-29-09

Conservative host Rush Limbaugh said Tuesday he isn't sorry to see Arlen Specter leave the GOP — and that many Republicans wish the Pennsylvania senator would take a few others with him when he goes.
"A lot of people say, 'Well, Specter, take [Sen. John] McCain with you. And his daughter [Meghan]. Take McCain and his daughter with you if you're gonna…" he told listeners, dissolving in laughter.

Historian Michele Bachmann Blames FDR's "Hoot-Smalley" Tariffs For Great Depression

TPMDC - ‎4-29-09‎
Michele Bachmann (R-MN) knows her history -- even if that history is from another planet. On Monday night, our friends at Dump Bachmann reported

Pelosi to Republican voters: 'Take back your party'
CNN - ‎4-30-09
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- House Speaker Nancy Pelosi marked President Barack Obama's 100th day in office with some unsolicited advice for Republican voters


It is so much fun watching Republicans beat each other up, shoot themselves in the foot, get historical facts ass backwards, say torture isn't torture and then they wonder why only 21% of Americans consider themselves Republicans. Republicans are just like George W. Bush. They can't admit a mistake.



"And in a move that has stunned Washington, D.C., longtime Pennsylvania Republican Senator Arlen Specter has switched parties. He is the first Republican senator to switch teams since Senator Larry Craig, I guess." --Jay Leno


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

Endangering Our Troops


A series of civil lawsuits against defense contractors KBR and its former parent company Halliburton claims the companies endangered the health of U.S. troops and contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan by unsafely burning massive amounts of garbage on U.S. bases.



"The White House was on lockdown because a small plane flew into restricted airspace. Say what you want, but Dick Cheney would have shot that thing down." --Jimmy Fallon



Cheney Links Swine Flu to Al Qaeda

By Don Davis



Disturbing News


"Unemployment is continually rising, foreclosures are through the roof. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, 'If this van's a-rockin', it's because we live here now.'" --Bill Maher




"This is, I mean, this is exciting. Air Force One was in New York City and apparently nobody knew. They didn't make the call. Hello! Air Force One comes to New York City and wants to take some pictures. They send it right up and start buzzing New York City. I mean, isn't this something you would expect from the Bush Administration?" --David Letterman


Republican-Shenanigans News



"Dick Cheney is all over television defending this. He said yesterday, he would be happy to undergo waterboarding himself, but his heart might rust." --Bill Maher

Rock-The-Voter News


"As you know, a big holiday is coming next week here in Los Angeles and Mexico: Sicko de Mayo." --Jay Leno


Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


"In economic news, ExxonMobil's profit last year was $45 billion. In second place was the company that makes those foreclosure signs." --David Letterman



Royalty Tortures


A videotape of a heinous torture session is delaying the ratification of a civil nuclear deal between the United Arab Emirates and the United States, senior U.S. officials familiar with the case said.

In the tape, an Afghan grain dealer is seen being tortured by a member of the royal family of Abu Dhabi, one of the UAE's seven emirates.


Bush-Prison-Torture News


"Republican Senator Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004, we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country [on screen: a map of 2004, showing most states as red states. The next map, from 2008, showed more blue states than there previously were]. Republicans tried to fight it off, but their white cells weren't strong enough, although they were very, very white [on screen: photos of four prominent Republicans]. Now, we should have seen this coming, folks. Specter was exhibiting the classic symptoms of donkey flu: mild fever, and being 21 points behind in Republican primary polls. I want to warn Maine Republican Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins to take every possible precaution. Donkey flu is highly contagious and virtually incurable. Only one man has ever beaten it, but clearly, it took a horrible toll [on screen: a photo of Independent Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut]." --Stephen Colbert



Go-F**k-Yourself News


"See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? For the swine flu. Suddenly Michael Jackson is not so crazy, huh? Yeah! I think we owe Michael an apology." --Jay Leno


Health Update


Thank you all for your get well wishes.


I'm surprised I was able to post a new edition today considering I feel so awful, but I just couldn't sleep last night and today's edition is the end product. I hope it wasn't too god-awful. My judgment is highly impaired! lol



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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo




In this photo released by Goodyear, Tyler Shoff, 15, of Akron, Ohio, crosses the finish-line beating NASCAR driver Greg Biffle by more than three car lengths at the Goodyear Fuel Max Challenge, a quarter-mile soap box derby race held at Derby Downs, site of the All-American Soap Box Derby, in Akron, Ohio, on Wednesday, April 29, 2009. Shoff, the 2007 Stock Div. Soap Box Derby World Champion, and Biffle a NASCAR Tuck Series and Busch Series champion raced in identical cars, except, Shoff's car was equipped with new Goodyear Assurance Fuel Max tires.
Photo/Goodyear, Phil Long







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