Monday edition - April 3, 2006


Bush throws first pitch in Cincinnati
WIS, SC - 4-3-06
The first fan has gotten the baseball season in Cincinnati under way. President Bush sent a pitch ...


With $200 million spent, few Iraq clinics finished
Seattle Times, United States -  4-3-06
A reconstruction contract for the building of 142 primary health centers across Iraq has run out of money, after two years and roughly $200 million, with no more than ...

US: Violence to Increase in Afghanistan
Washington Post, United States - 4-3-06
KABUL, Afghanistan -- Violence is likely to increase in Afghanistan this year as foreign security forces expand into new areas and the government steps up its ...


When we are in a time of war it is imperative for us to play baseball.



"President Bush said it's time for the people of Iraq to put together a functioning government. He said 'it's time to shut her down and get governin'.' Other presidents quote Lincoln and Roosevelt. Bush is the only one to quote Larry the Cable Guy." --Jay Leno




The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Condi Brush Off

"I'm used to protests. They happen all the time on American campuses.

"It's all part of the exercise in democracy. And I did not find them off-putting nor did I find them in the least disconcerting." The unflappable Ms [Condoleezza] Rice said.



Secretary Rice ashamed, sorry after whip falls from purse. - Grant Gerver 







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I Hope Review - "Like the best social commentary it slips in under your radar while you're busy appreciating the art." - James McSweeney

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Disturbing News


On this April Fools' Day, let us pause and give thanks to the Bush Administration for whom this special occasion is so very fitting. - Grant Gerver 






Flor-i-duh School Superintendent



Lee County school officials said they were concerned about terrorism when they decided to keep a high school band from marching in a London parade, but now angry British officials are telling travelers that Fort Myers is no safe haven, either.

Local tourism officials fear the dispute could cost Lee County millions in lost tourism dollars, and even Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has commented on the dispute.


Republican Shenanigans




"Meet the new boss; same as the old boss. This appointment screams continuity. This is an appointment from a man who considers the White House both his professional and personal home, a man who hates change."  -- Larry Sabato, a political analyst at the University of Virginia on George Bush replacing Andrew Card with Josh Bolton.






Addicted to Oil AND Power


"This talk of pre-emptive strikes, of ignoring the UN Security Council and international legal obligations -- all this is leading toward a dark night," [Mikhail] Gorbachev told Time magazine.

"I think
some people may be pushing president Bush in the wrong direction," he said of the US leader.


"America is intoxicated by its position as the world's only superpower. It wants to impose its will.



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"They get along well because they have a lot in common. They're both ranchers. They both love the outdoors. And they both speak English as a second language." --Jay Leno, on Bush's meeting with Mexican President Vicente Fox



Good News



Andrew Card's Legacy



Card will always be best known to the extent that presidential chiefs of staff are ever known outside Washington political circles as the man who informed Bush of the Sept. 11 terror attacks while the stunned president sat reading with school children in Florida


Biz-Tech News




Starring Ken Starr - Defending Fraud: The Sequel


Mallory Factor, who is suing to abolish the U.S.'s auditing-oversight board, doesn't hide his real target: the 2002 law aimed at preventing accounting frauds like the ones that brought down Enron Corp. and WorldCom Inc...Factor has assembled a Republican dream team of lawyers including Kenneth Starr, the former independent counsel who investigated President Bill Clinton, to press his case.







Ever pandering to Hispanics, George Bush shows off his command of Spanish: "I just love boo-ree-toes and in-chee-lah-does!" -- Grant Gerver 




Republican Makeovers
Changing the face of America, one Republican at a time


Bush-Prison-Torture News





Bill Maher's New Rules: My Pet Scapegoat from Crooks and Liars


Go-F*ck-Yourself News



"Blessed are the peacemakers. The bounty of beautiful roses from such wonderful people has lifted my heart and will remain in my memory for the rest of my life. Thank you for caring that others may live." -- Helen Thomas, Hearst columnist



We could learn a lot from crayons...

Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. -
Unknown Author



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Odd News


Today there are two closing pictures. Enjoy.


A clone of a mare named Tap O Lena, born March 9, 2006, is seen in a handout photo. The company that cloned the first horse to be sold commercially said on Thursday it plans to market 22 similar animals before 2008, marking another step forward for the controversial technology. Photo/Viagen/Sally Harrison






Freed hostage Jill Carroll (L) is embraced by her father, Jim Carroll, as the freelance journalist was greeted by family members after her return to Boston, Massachusetts April 2, 2006. Jill Carroll, 28, a reporter for The Christian Science Monitor held captive in Iraq for 82 days, returned home to the U.S. on Sunday for a reunion with her family whose emotional appeals rallied a global campaign for her freedom. The hand of Jill's sister, Katie, is seen touching her hair. Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/Christian Science Monitor