Monday edition - April 23, 2007

May I suggest if anyone insists on touching WH officials, please carry SaniWipes.

Karl Rove getting all pissy with Sheryl Crow and Laurie David is a good reminder for us all: we're fighting the War on Terror, not Global Warming, damnit. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 3322 North County Times, CA 

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Suicide bombings around Iraq kill 27 AP

• Fallujah council leader assassinated San Diego Union Tribune, CA

• Bombs kills eight Afghan agents, police AFP

• Afghan intelligence officer beheaded AP

• Bush: Sectarian killings drop in Baghdad Jackson News-Tribune, WY 

• U.S.: Iraq wall meant to protect AP

• U.S. official criticizes Iraqi Kurds AP

• Russia, Iran sign nuclear plant protocol AP

• Army clamped down after Tillman's death AP

• Gates links Iraq progress to troop need AP

• Reid says Bush in denial Houston Chronicle

NRA - National Rifle Asses

Think Iraq is violent? It is. In March alone, 600 Iraqis died. During the same period here at home, 3,000 Americans died in gun-related violence. It's the same every month. Eighty gun deaths a day. Thirty-thousand a year. Over 30 years, more Americans will die from gun deaths than died in all the wars this nation has ever fought...In chilling testimony to Congress in the wake of Sept. 11, former Attorney General John Ashcroft revealed seized documents in which terrorists were urged to take advantage of America's lax gun laws to easily buy large volumes of deadly weapons.

Weapons like the Barrett .50-caliber rifle, which can pierce armor, hit a target more than 2,000 yards away, and could easily bring down a commercial airliner. Thanks to the gun lobby, the Barrett can still be purchased by anyone age 18 or older who passes a simple background check. Happy hunting.

"After weeks of mock testimony, there you have it. Alberto Gonzales doesn't know what happened, but he assures you, what he doesn't remember was handled properly." --Jon Stewart

"There are some similarities, of course (between Iraq and Vietnam). Death is terrible." --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007

Disturbing News

• Navy jet crashes, kills pilot, injures eight Bowling Green News, OH

• U.S. food safety strained by imports AP

Subpoena Rice & Card? Oh, My.

If President Bush's former chief of staff can chat about the identifying of CIA agent Valerie Plame on Jon Stewart's comedy show, he can talk about it to the House oversight committee, the panel's chairman said Friday. If Andy Card refuses, the panel will vote Wednesday on whether to compel his testimony with a subpoena, said Rep. Henry Waxman..Also being considered for a subpoena on a related issue: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

 “Today on Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore to tell the truth, then everybody had a good laugh.”  - Jay Leno
 

Republican Shenanigans

• That Gonzo's just gotta go: GOPers New York Daily News, NY 

• Wolfowitz must quit, say ex-World Bank executives Raw Story, MA 

• Bush administration awash in scandals AP

• Probe: Inept companies got Katrina contracts Hattiesburg American, MS

• Bush passes up comedy at media dinner AP

• Seniors losing out on health benefits AP

Brownie's Legacy

FEMA exposed taxpayers to significant waste - and possibly violated federal law - by awarding $3.6 billion worth of Hurricane Katrina contracts to companies with poor credit histories and bad paperwork, investigators say.Among the winners was joint venture PRI-DJI, which received $400 million worth of contracts. DJI stands for Del-Jen Inc., a subsidiary of Fluor, one of the original, no-bid winners which has donated more than $930,000 to mostly GOP candidates since 2000.
 

Picture of Wolfowitz and Fred Thompsons wife at the White House Correspondent's Dinner - Please remove children from your viewing area

DAVE LETTERMAN  -  'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS'

To celebrate Earth Day, I will go on a solo day-long journey to the woods in my untuned, catalytic converter-free diesel Hummer, tossing trash out the window as I finish my mini-mart snacks and malt liquor.  - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

Rock-The-Voter News

• Clinton Says Husband Would Be Ambassador Guardian Unlimited, UK
   

Other Happenings At The White House Correspondent's Dinner

All the Democratic presidential hopefuls skipped the dinner, but Republicans Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson worked the room as did Rudy Giuliani, who looked like he was selling himself to Rupert Murdoch at the News Corp. table. . . .Attorney General Alberto Gonzales claimed, "I'm having a great time, thanks." Another dead man walking, Paul Wolfowitz, partied late at the Vanity Fair bash hosted by Christopher Hitchens, Carol Blue, Todd Purdham and Dee Dee Myers. Also there was chain-smoking Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, deep in conversation with Time.com blogger Ann Marie Cox

"More terrifying news on the 2008 presidential election front ... John Edwards has taken the lead in the Iowa polls. What's really frightening about this is Edwards' socialist rhetoric [on screen: Edwards talking about eliminating poverty.] That's class warfare, folks. Eliminating poverty? Who's going to pay for that? Not the poor. They don't have any cash. " --Stephen Colbert

"Please, I was talking to some of my old veterans friends. My response is, Lighten up and get a life." - John McCain defended his "joke" about singing "Bomb, bomb, Iran" during a campaign stop in Nevada on Thursday
 

Biz-Tech News

• Oil prices hover above $64 a barrel MLive.com, MI

• Germany says Wolfowitz situation unacceptable Reuters

• Barclays, ABN to move 10000 jobs to India Business Standard

• Women make less 1 year after college AP

• Fed breach leaks Social Security numbers AP

George Washington never told a lie. George Bush never told the truth. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

"After weeks of mock testimony, there you have it. Alberto Gonzales doesn't know what happened, but he assures you, what he doesn't remember was handled properly." --Jon Stewart

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Guantanamo to lose two senior lawyers, one on each side News & Observer, NC 

Bush is right, you can not compare Iraq with Vietnam: Iraq has no jungles. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com

The three major obstacles to peace in Iraq: Sunnis, Shiites and Bushites.

Go-F***-Yourself News

• No new news on Dick Cheney. He must be in that undisclosed location again.
   

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