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Monday edition - April 23, 2007
May I suggest if anyone insists on touching WH officials, please carry SaniWipes.
Karl Rove getting all pissy with Sheryl Crow and Laurie David is a good reminder for us all: we're fighting the War on Terror, not Global Warming, damnit. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
NRA - National Rifle Asses
Think Iraq is violent?
It is. In March alone, 600 Iraqis died. During the same period here at home,
3,000 Americans died in gun-related violence. It's the same every month. Eighty
gun deaths a day. Thirty-thousand a year.
Over 30
years, more Americans will die from gun deaths than died in all the wars this
nation has ever fought...In chilling
testimony to Congress in the wake of Sept. 11, former Attorney General John
Ashcroft revealed seized documents in which terrorists were urged to take
advantage of America's lax gun laws to easily buy large volumes of deadly
weapons.
"After weeks of mock testimony, there you have it. Alberto Gonzales doesn't know what happened, but he assures you, what he doesn't remember was handled properly." --Jon Stewart
"There are some similarities, of course (between Iraq and Vietnam). Death is terrible." --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007
Disturbing News
Subpoena Rice & Card? Oh, My.
If President Bush's former chief of staff can chat about the identifying of CIA agent Valerie Plame on Jon Stewart's comedy show, he can talk about it to the House oversight committee, the panel's chairman said Friday. If Andy Card refuses, the panel will vote Wednesday on whether to compel his testimony with a subpoena, said Rep. Henry Waxman..Also being considered for a subpoena on a related issue: Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.
“Today
on Capitol Hill, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales raised his right hand, swore
to tell the truth, then everybody had a good laugh.” - Jay Leno Republican Shenanigans
Brownie's Legacy
FEMA exposed taxpayers to
significant waste - and possibly violated federal law - by awarding $3.6 billion
worth of Hurricane Katrina contracts to companies with poor credit histories and
bad paperwork, investigators say.Among the winners was joint venture PRI-DJI,
which received $400 million worth of contracts. DJI stands for Del-Jen Inc., a
subsidiary of Fluor,
one of the original, no-bid winners which has donated more than $930,000 to
mostly GOP candidates since 2000.
Picture of Wolfowitz and Fred Thompsons wife at the White House Correspondent's Dinner - Please remove children from your viewing area
DAVE LETTERMAN - 'TOP TEN GEORGE W. BUSH MOMENTS'
To celebrate Earth Day, I will go on a solo day-long journey to the woods in my untuned, catalytic converter-free diesel Hummer, tossing trash out the window as I finish my mini-mart snacks and malt liquor. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Rock-The-Voter News
Other Happenings At The White House Correspondent's Dinner
All the Democratic presidential hopefuls skipped the dinner, but Republicans Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Fred Thompson worked the room as did Rudy Giuliani, who looked like he was selling himself to Rupert Murdoch at the News Corp. table. . . .Attorney General Alberto Gonzales claimed, "I'm having a great time, thanks." Another dead man walking, Paul Wolfowitz, partied late at the Vanity Fair bash hosted by Christopher Hitchens, Carol Blue, Todd Purdham and Dee Dee Myers. Also there was chain-smoking Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, deep in conversation with Time.com blogger Ann Marie Cox
"More terrifying news on the 2008 presidential election front ... John Edwards has taken the lead in the Iowa polls. What's really frightening about this is Edwards' socialist rhetoric [on screen: Edwards talking about eliminating poverty.] That's class warfare, folks. Eliminating poverty? Who's going to pay for that? Not the poor. They don't have any cash. " --Stephen Colbert
Biz-Tech News
George Washington never told a lie. George Bush never told the truth. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
"After weeks of mock testimony, there you have it. Alberto Gonzales doesn't know what happened, but he assures you, what he doesn't remember was handled properly." --Jon Stewart
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Bush is right, you can not compare Iraq with Vietnam: Iraq has no jungles. - Grant Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
The three major obstacles to peace in Iraq: Sunnis, Shiites and Bushites.
Go-F***-Yourself News
Please Keep All Hat No Cattle Online
Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312
Odd News
This handout photo provided by Canadian Coast Guard the trawler Cape Richards is rafted on ice after non essential crew evacuated off the coast of Newfoundland on Thursday April 19, 2007. There were signs Friday that pressure from the heavy pack ice that has trapped more than 100 sealing vessels off northeastern Newfoundland and southern Labrador was starting to ease in places. Photo/CP, Canadian Coast Guard
Peace.
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