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Monday edition - April 21, 2007
If you think the Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you’re an idiot. If you think they’re going to take away your gun, you’re an armed idiot. And if you think they’re going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you’re Bill O’Reilly. - Bill Maher
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
Can This Administration Do Anything Right? Obviously No!
A new report warns says
US provincial reconstruction teams (PRT), a much publicized program for
rebuilding Iraq and Afghanistan,
operate as ad hoc "pickup games" with no clear direction.
You know – you know that since George Bush has become president, gas has basically tripled in price. Now, Bush is an oil man. I’m not a conspiracy theorist. I’m just saying that if we had elected Colonel Sanders president—[laughter]—and the price of chicken had tripled, I’d be a little suspicious. That’s all – I’m not getting – that’s all I’m saying. - Bill Maher
Disturbing News
CNN Reporter Busted In Central Park
A CNN reporter was
arrested Friday in Central Park with a small amount of methamphetamine in his
pocket, but he avoided jail time by agreeing to undergo drug counseling and
therapy.
John McCain presented his proposal. He says that over the summer, we should have a “gas tax holiday.” Ooh. For summer drivers, the 18-cent-a-gallon federal gas tax, he wants that lifted over the summer. Or as it used to be called, “Grandpa is giving you five dollars.” - Bill Maher
Republican Shenanigans
While Former President Jimmy Carter Tries To Negotiate Peace in Middle East, Former President George H.W. Bush Does This - Yahoo! News Photo
I mean, this was quite a debate. They touched on all the important issues that are facing Americans today: bitterness, flag pins, retired preachers, sixties radicals, imaginary Bosnian snipers, cookies. It was really quite a debate. I don’t want to say Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos were awful, but today the FCC fined ABC for allowing “boobs” on the air. - Bill Maher
Rock-The-Voter News
The Candidates: How will they look in four years? - Popular Photography
Biz-Tech News
Airlines should just get it over with and start putting passengers in the cargo hold. Let’s face it. You’ve already taken away the leg room, the food, the pillows. The only thing left is to tag us, load us onto the conveyor belt—and let us fight over who gets to sleep on the bag of mail. - Bill Maher
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Did you see what’s going on down in Texas? This is unbelievable. Those 416 kids from the Mormonist sect – whatever they are – polygamist, break-off sect – they had to go before a judge – like, every lawyer in the state was there – to decide whether the kids are going to go back to their “ranch” or into foster care. Which is so sad, because some of these kids are barely old enough to know what’s going on, and they miss their husbands. - Bill Maher
Go-F***-Yourself News
"Anyway, happy birthday to the pope. 81 years old today. You know what's amazing? Think about this. The pope is younger than Hugh Hefner." --Jay Leno
Did you have a good time today?
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Offline Donation Lisa Casey PO Box 88 Ashford. AL 36312
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Odd News
South Korean scientists have
cloned sniffer dogs, seen here, for drug inspection for the first time.
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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