Glenn Beck Blames Obama’s Smoking For European Ash Cloud

By Don Davis

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Afghan region at 957

• US soldier dies in non-combat incident in Iraq

• US: Deaths of 2 al-Qaida in Iraq leaders big blow

• Eight killed in Afghan quake

• US soldier dismissed for threats in Iraq protest

• Al-Qaeda in Iraq using new 'H-bomb' to kill civilians

• Afghan police arrest 9 in plot for Kabul attacks

• Netanyahu urges 'crippling sanctions' against Iran

• Gates denies Iran memo was meant as 'wake-up call'

• Russia: US adoptions freeze to last for weeks

Vote Recount In Iraq. Call Jeb Bush!

An Iraqi panel investigating election complaints ordered on Monday a recount of more than 2.5 million votes cast in Baghdad during the March 7 election, agreeing to a demand by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki that could swing the outcome in his favor.

"The Pentagon says that Al Qaeda is now in financial ruin. I tell you, Goldman Sachs, they screwed everybody." –Jay Leno
 

Disturbing News

• 3 rescued, 5 days after China quake killed 2,000

• UK sends warships to rescue stranded Britons

The Burkini Causes Earthquakes!

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes.

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Tea partiers in two camps: Palin vs. Paul

• McCollumn's lawsuit against national healthcare hurting him in new poll 

• Former Gov. Jeb Bush shaping Fla. Session

• McCain tacks right on immigration

• Brown risks rift with right

• Advocates carry handguns, rifles at Va. rally

Who knew Nancy Reagan would become the Republican party's greatest strategist when she uttered, "Just say no."- Zing!

John McCain Sings His Latest Version of "Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Iran"

Sen. John McCain says he didn't need to hear about a secret memorandum from the Pentagon to know the U.S. doesn't have an effective policy for dealing with Iran's nuclear program.

Rock-The-Voter News

• Obama hits the road to raise cash for Democrats

• Democrats add aggressively to 2010 election coffers

• Black or biracial? Census forces a choice for some

"The first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong, sent a letter to Obama criticizing him because he's expected to cut funding for manned space flights. And he even helped spearhead this ad campaign that I guess is designed to convince President Obama to change his mind on this. 'For nearly half a century, the United States has been a world leader in exploring the final frontier: First to the moon, inspiring a nation, and paving the way for countless advancements in science. President Obama's plan to cut NASA's budget means never again will Americans see astronauts suck Jell-O through a straw, eat floating bananas, or doing funny experiments with a frog. Write President Obama. Don't let these super fun times come to an end. This message paid for by astronauts who love super fun times in space.' Powerful stuff." –Jimmy Kimmel
 

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Biz-Tech News

• Goldman and volcano take down oil prices

• Recession is ending? Some Americans don't buy it

• Toyota to pay record $16.4M fine, recall Lexus SUV

• In Asia, Goldman clients stay loyal for now

• Economic blow to airlines could surpass Sept. 11: EU

• Dodd: Goldman suit should spur GOP on regulations

CEO Gets 40% Raise

 Viacom Inc Chief Executive Officer Philippe Dauman received a 40 percent hike in his annual base salary to $3.5 million, effective January 1, 2010, a regulatory filing showed.

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Deal could put Khadr in U.S. federal court

Meanwhile, Back In Outer Space

A strange and mysterious new object in space may the brightest and long-lasting "micro-quasar" seen thus far, a miniature version of the brightest objects in the universe...The object suddenly began pumping out radio waves last year

Go-F**k-Yourself News

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