TGIF/Weekend edition - April 18-20, 2007

"Actually, one really embarrassing moment, you see this on the news? When the pope blessed the crowd with holy water? Well, some of it splashed on Dick Cheney -- burned his skin." --Jay Leno

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

• US military deaths in Iraq at 4036 Washington Post

• www.iraqbodycount.org

• Bombing Kills 55 At Funeral in Iraq Washington Post 

• Son of Netherlands' top general slain in Afghanistan AP

• President Bush and Prime Minister Brown Remark on Iraq and Terrorism Washington Post

• Rice says Arabs must shield Iraq from Iran's sway Reuters 

• Democrats seek to avoid Iraq funding vote this fall The Associated Press 

• EU Eyes Energy Deal During Al-Maliki Visit RadioFreeEurope/RadioLiberty, Czech Republic

• Company of Iraqi troops abandon position after attack The Associated Press 

• Israel plans construction of 100 homes in West Bank AP

• Carter meets with Hamas officials in Egypt CNN

• Army picks same 3 firms for disputed logistics contracts Forbes, NY 
   

al Qaeda Sticks Tongue Out At U.S. Troops

Marking the fifth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, al Qaeda's media arm released an audio recording, purportedly from the group's second-in-command, saying U.S. troops there have failed.

"The president picked up the pope at the airport. How bored is our president? He's not the president anymore. Now he's like your college stoner roommate, doing favors for pizza. Next week I think he's helping Putin move." --Jon Stewart
 

Disturbing News

• 5.4 earthquake rocks Illinois; felt 450 miles away AP

• Investigator says girls pregnant in polygamist sect The Associated Press

• Oklahoma sheriff charged with using inmates as sex slaves AP

• CDC: Flu season worst in 4 years; vaccine didn't work well AP

• Greenland glacial lake vanishes in warming drama Reuters India, India

"Now, you may have seen this earlier on the news. Did you hear what President Bush said to the pope after his speech today? This is an exact quote. I'm not changing it. He said, 'Awesome speech, your Holiness.' That's what he said to the pope. See, he didn't want to say 'dude,' because it was a formal affair." --Jay Leno

www.punditkitchen.com

Just What The Iraqis Don't Need - A Sandstorm

A thick layer of yellow dust blanketed houses and cars in the Iraqi capital Thursday as a heavy sandstorm over central Iraq sent dozens of residents to hospitals with breathing difficulties.

The spring storm, one of the worst in years, forced the closure of the Baghdad International Airport. It also appeared to hamper military flights.
 

Republican Shenanigans

• McCain campaign's next stop: 'Forgotten parts of America' USA Today

• Sen. Kit Bond is not on board with John McCain's gas tax holiday Kansas City Star, MO

• Pssst! President Bush Coming To Kent For Fundraiser Hartford Courant

• Union head claims USDA tried to intimidate employees AP

 It's OK When Republicans Do It!

The Delaware County prosecutor wants to know why Republican Party officials were given access to police reports on a fight involving a voter registration deputy, a reporter and a candidate before the documents reached his desk.

"The Republican Party chairman is not a member of the law enforcement community and does not have access to police reports," Prosecutor Mark McKinney, a Democrat, said Wednesday.

Rock-The-Voter News

• Clinton, Obama Both Appear On "The Colbert Report"

• Former ambassador Wilson endorses Clinton The Citizen's Voice, PA 

• Obama Criticizes Debate Questions U.S. News & World Report

• Obama: Let's campaign, not have more debates CNN

Imus: Obama "Almost A Bigger Pussy" Than Hillary - Huffington Post

Biz-Tech News

• Red-hot oil prices continue higher AFP

• Citigroup Records a Loss and Plans 9000 Layoffs New York Times

• Another record low for Bay Area home sales San Francisco Chronicle

• Russia writes off $4.5B in Libyan debt, signs business deals The Associated Press

• Samsung Bribery Probe Points to Pattern of Graft in South Korea Bloomberg 

• Freddie Mac to buy jumbo loans from 4 top lenders Reuters 

• FAA says US airlines must monitor their own safety Reuters

• Google results shush critics Chicago Tribune

"This is the day after tax day, of course. See, this is the day that unites people, I think. It's a day when wealthy Americans with money from big cities are just as bitter as Americans in small towns who are broke." --Jay Leno
 

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• CIA: Destroyed videos likely not covered by court order AP -

• Canada asked US not to send Khadr to Guantanamo because of his age The Canadian Press
   

Mid-life Crisis?

He is the president of a resurgent superpower. She is a rhythmic gymnast less than half his age.

Now all Moscow is ablaze with rumours that Vladimir Putin, 56, and the flexible 24-year-old Alina Kabaeva have decided to tie the knot.

Go-F***-Yourself News

• Lecture: Mary and Elizabeth Cheney: "Life On the Campaign Trail ... Colorado College News, CO

"Did you see the pope's plane land yesterday? I think it's called, was it 'Shepherd One'? Is that the name of the pope's plane? 'Shepherd One'? And he's also German, isn't he? ... So that would make it 'German Shepherd One.'" --Jay Leno
 

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