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TGIF/Weekend edition - April 18-20, 2007
"Actually, one really embarrassing moment, you see this on the news? When the pope blessed the crowd with holy water? Well, some of it splashed on Dick Cheney -- burned his skin." --Jay Leno
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
al Qaeda Sticks Tongue Out At U.S. Troops
Marking the fifth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, al Qaeda's media arm released an audio recording, purportedly from the group's second-in-command, saying U.S. troops there have failed.
"The
president picked up the pope at the airport. How bored is our president? He's
not the president anymore. Now he's like your college stoner roommate, doing
favors for pizza. Next week I think he's helping Putin move." --Jon Stewart
Disturbing News
"Now, you may have seen this earlier on the news. Did you hear what President Bush said to the pope after his speech today? This is an exact quote. I'm not changing it. He said, 'Awesome speech, your Holiness.' That's what he said to the pope. See, he didn't want to say 'dude,' because it was a formal affair." --Jay Leno
Just What The Iraqis Don't Need - A Sandstorm
A thick layer
of yellow dust blanketed houses and cars in the Iraqi capital Thursday
as a heavy sandstorm over central Iraq sent dozens of residents to hospitals
with breathing difficulties. Republican Shenanigans
It's OK When Republicans Do It!
The Delaware
County prosecutor wants to know
why Republican Party officials were given access to police reports on a
fight involving a voter registration deputy, a reporter and a candidate before
the documents reached his desk.
Rock-The-Voter News
Imus: Obama "Almost A Bigger Pussy" Than Hillary - Huffington Post
Biz-Tech News
"This is
the day after tax day, of course. See, this is the day that unites people, I
think. It's a day when wealthy Americans with money from big cities are just as
bitter as Americans in small towns who are broke." --Jay Leno
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Mid-life Crisis?
He is the president of a resurgent superpower. She is a rhythmic gymnast less than half his age.
Now all Moscow is ablaze with rumours that Vladimir Putin, 56, and the flexible 24-year-old Alina Kabaeva have decided to tie the knot.
Go-F***-Yourself News
"Did you
see the pope's plane land yesterday? I think it's called, was it 'Shepherd One'?
Is that the name of the pope's plane? 'Shepherd One'? And he's also German,
isn't he? ... So that would make it 'German Shepherd One.'" --Jay Leno
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Odd News
Fireworks are released at the grand opening ceremony of the world's largest observation wheel also known as the Singapore Flyer on Tuesday April 15, 2008, in Singapore. Photo/Wong Maye-E
Peace.
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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guide to Political Humor.
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