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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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TGIF/Weekend edition - April 17-19, 2009


Doesn't Cuba have oil? Just askin'.



Obama heads to Americas summit with Cuba focus
The Associated Press - ‎4-17-09
The president was to fly Friday to the island of Trinidad for the 34-nation Summit of the Americas, a gathering to which Cuba, as the region's only


Disappointment with US not prosecuting CIA
AP – 4-17-09
CAIRO (AP) — Human rights groups and former detainees in U.S. custody expressed disappointment Friday with the decision by President Barack Obama not to prosecute CIA operatives who used interrogation practices described by many as torture.

Bush-era memo: Insect use OK for interrogation

CNN - 4-17-09

The memo authorized keeping Zubaydah in a dark, confined space small enough to restrict the individual's movement for no more than two hours at a time. In addition, putting a harmless insect into the box...


One can only hope that those who authorized torture will be held accountable. Doncha think, President Obama?



Bush comes out strong on newly-released torture memos: "It's not like we branded or de-nutted 'em." - Grant "Bud" Gerver




The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

America Doesn't Have To Fight For Sex On Demand After All!


The Afghan government will change a law that critics say legalizes rape within marriage for Shia Muslims, President Hamid Karzai told CNN Thursday.


"This is like the Boston tea party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore. The tea part is just a metaphor [on screen: a Fox News reporter pointing to boxes at one of the tea parties containing a million tea bags]. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony?" --Jon Stewart, on the tea party protests





Disturbing News


"Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'" --Jimmy Kimmel



John Ziegler arrest at Couric award ceremony for Palin interview

Was he arrested?

Jindal's Gravy Train


When Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gabbed with Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" about how he adopted his first name from one of "The Brady Bunch" kids, taxpayers paid for his state trooper security detail watching from the wings....An Associated Press review of travel records shows that providing legally mandated security on the trips has cost the state tens of thousands of dollars since Jindal took office in January 2008 — money that hasn't been reimbursed by him or his campaign. Jindal insists he's only interested in being re-elected governor, but he has traveled to a dozen states to collect campaign dollars and stump for himself or other



Republican-Shenanigans News


Chuck Norris For President Of Texas!



"I may run for president of Texas. That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state."...



"According to MSNBC, there's a big problem with identity theft affecting electronic tax filing. People are stealing other people's identities, filing taxes in their name, and then getting their refund check. Today, half the Obama administration said, 'That's what happened to us!'" --Jay Leno





I hope like hell Texas does secede.   - Grant "Bud" Gerver




Rock-The-Voter News



Subject: Morning Joke


Lisa, You have Joe Scarborough nailed. He and his co-hostage Mika are opportunists. I watched them yesterday and Joe referred to Mika's ovaries in a PMS sort of way. Are they trying to create sexual tension or misogyny? Joe always calls Hillary his "girlfriend", huh? Is he into older women or is he condescending?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Anyway, when Mika wore a Sarah Palin button during that silly CPAC get together last month I got the message. Mika supports Palin. I never saw any TV anchor ever wear a button supporting any candidate. It was a first for me. Even Chris Matthews, who said Obama sent a chill down his leg did not wear an Obama button.

Anyway, did you see that?

I haven't seen any mention of it on blogs or from the news media.

Love your site.

BD in LA


No I didn't see the ovary incident. And ovaries are one of my favorite early morning subjects!


Joe and Mika seemed to have taken acting lessons from the school of Sen. Larry Craig -- creepy.


I did see Mika proudly wearing the Sarah button. Hey, Mika's a professional journalist just like all those anchors at FoxNews. Oh, wait, no FoxNews anchor wore any buttons either. Well, that proves that Mika is in a league of her own. PMSNBC




"You know what you call a bunch of lawyers sitting around out of work doing nothing? Congress!" --Jay Leno


Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


Teabagging Humor Roundup -


Bionic Man


He's Walter Reed's bionic man, a wounded warrior who walks on a pair of new battery-powered prosthetic legs outfitted with some of the most high-tech gizmos around.

No, Army Lt. Col. Greg Gadson can't move like he did when he was a linebacker on West Point's football team or a battalion commander in Iraq.


Bush-Prison-Torture News

I Love This Lady


The Scottish woman who became an Internet singing sensation after her performance on a British talent show said Friday she doesn't want fame to change her.


Go-F**k-Yourself News




"In Arlington, Virginia, the Environmental Protection Agency is holding something called the National Bed Bug Summit. Health officials are going to offer advice on how to combat the growing problem of bed bugs. And it's being held in Arlington's Crystal City Sheraton Hotel. See, that's when you know the economy is bad, okay? When a Sheraton hotel is thrilled to be hosting the bed bug summit. 'Hey, be sure to come back in June for the big head lice symposium.'" --Jay Leno



Subject: Your website


Lisa, I love you and your site. How are the finances going? Mine suck but I send $5 every month and you're worth it!!!!

I think you would have more donations but your site is a site for the intelligent and politically saavy and America isn't. They don't get it. Just sayin'

Love, J - NYC


I thought my site was for the politically frustrated!


Finances. sigh. I'm just keeping my head above water. Refinancing failed and no homes have sold in my town for months. My options are limited to AHNC, and great thanks to my generous viewers.


I treat my site and viewers as I would treat my family and friends. I'm loyal, dependable and try to be funny!


Thanks so much for writing, J.



AHNC weekend commentary


Can it get any crazier? Yes, and it will


Many folks with functioning brains might be lulled into thinking that the events of the past week represented the depths of behavior that extremist conservatives can reach.
After all, what more can these clownish characters propose than the often humorous and occasionally dangerous nonsense that they have pitched to the American public since last Sunday?
But alas, we here at All Hat No Cattle believe that the tax-hating tea-baggers, the closet secessionists and the overtly racist slime who constitute a controlling majority of the 21st Century conservative movement in the United States have only begun their fight. Or revolution. Or second Civil War. Or whatever they choose to call what they are doing.
It’s hard to pick one defining moment last week in which the far-right wing best revealed themselves.
Perhaps it was Rush Limbaugh’s asinine and bewildering comment that a conservative white president (a Reagan or a Bush) would have taken intense heat from the news media for ordering the military to shoot and kill three “black Muslim teenagers” – the Somali pirates who were holding a U.S. ship captain hostage.
Huh? What? Is Rush back on the Oxycontin?
Then, not to be upstaged, Texas Republican Gov. Rick Perry suggested that secession from the Union was a legitimate option for some conservative states to consider in reaction to the initiatives of President Barack Obama.
Huh? What? Didn’t the United States already go through that crap back in the 1860s? And didn’t we settle that hash once and for all?
Apparently not, as evidenced by the small crowds of weirdoes, freaks, conspiracy buffs and Republicans who turned out Wednesday in various cities around the nation to espouse three basic principles: We hate taxes, we hate moderates and liberals, and we hate minorities – especially blacks, Latinos and gays.
It was a spectacle to behold. They wore teabags hanging from their hat brims. They sported T-shirts and carried signs with racist slogans. They babbled semi-incoherently into any available news microphone or videocam that they were the true voice of America. The not-so-silent majority.
Except that they are not the majority, as evidenced by the last election. They are the minority, and they’re mad as hell and won’t take it anymore.
Which is why AHNC believes the worst is yet to come. These people are not just sore losers. Some of them are deluded, some are historical re-constructionists. Some are well-armed nutcases.
They think the Confederacy should have won the Civil War. They believe in their heart of hearts (despite the absence of such an organ) that torture is justifiable, that the United States should be a Christianity-based government, and that humans and dinosaurs once walked the Earth together.
They are awesomely ignorant. They are stubborn. And they are willing to shed blood for their beliefs and to force their beliefs on others. Because that is their way.



Over a third of the way there! Thank you!


Retention bonuses aren't only for AIG executives!


24 donations to date


No donations yesterday but Archie sent me tow DVDs! Thank you Archie.


One time donation


Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312


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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



This  photo provided by the journal Science shows iron oxides stain the snout of the Taylor Glacier, McMurdo Dry Valleys, Antarctica, forming a feature commonly referred to as Blood Falls. The iron originates from ancient subglacial brine that episodically discharges to the surface. Outflow collected at Blood Falls provides access to a unique subglacial ecosystem that harbors a microbial consortium which actively cycles iron, sulfur and carbon for growth.
 Photo/Benjamin Urmston


I wish you all a peaceful weekend.


NOTICE: I am STILL having software problems, your patience is appreciated.



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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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