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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Thursday edition - April 16, 2009




Nationwide 'tea party' protests blast spending
CNN - ‎4-16-09
Crates of tea were dumped into Massachusetts' Boston Harbor during a "tea party" protest Wednesday. "If you look at these nine little beautiful grandbabies,


US foreclosures up 24 percent in 1st quarter
The Associated Press - 4-16-09‎
WASHINGTON (AP) — The number of American households threatened with losing their homes grew 24 percent in the first three months of this year and is poised

Gates: ‘Last gasp' remark on al-Qaida in Iraq was mistake - ‎Apr 14, 2009‎
FORT RUCKER, Ala. -- Defense Secretary Robert Gates said Tuesday that he had made a mistake when he said that the rising tide of


We should begin calling conservatives, The BTBOP (Below The Belt Orifice Party). Their obsession with government intervention into those orifices is stunning.



"Whew! Last night, I had that great new drink, the Navy Seal. Three shots -- boom -- and you're done." --Jay Leno


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

America Fighting For The Right To Sex On Demand


Dozens of young women braved crowds of bearded men screaming "dogs!" on Wednesday to protest an Afghan law that lets husbands demand sex from their wives. Some of the men picked up small stones and pelted the women. "Slaves of the Christians!" chanted the 800 or so counter-demonstrators, a mix of men and women. A line of female police officers locked hands to keep the groups apart.


"And now, there is serious trouble there off the coast of Somalia. Other pirates have vowed to avenge the death of their colleagues. Colleagues? What is this, a rotary club? What is this, a faculty meeting?" --David Letterman




Disturbing News


What Is Going On?



The National Security Agency intercepted Americans' e-mails and phone calls in recent months on a scale that went beyond limits set by the U.S. Congress last year, The New York Times reported on Wednesday.

Citing unnamed intelligence officials, it said the NSA had engaged in "'over-collection' of domestic communications of Americans." The sources variously characterized the practice as significant, systemic or unintentional, the Times said.


This pirates stuff is unbelievable, but the Obama administration is getting high marks for the way they handled the rescue situation this weekend, or the military did. But with all the problems we have right now, who would have guessed that on top of everything else our new president would have to deal with pirates? What’s next? A dragon? Ghosts?
- Jimmy Kimmel





Retention bonuses aren't only for AIG executives!



Republican-Shenanigans News


Push Em Back, Push Em Back, Way Back


Mexican drug cartels are creeping south into Central America, U.S. drug enforcement officials said Wednesday, as the Obama administration put new pressure on drug kingpins ahead of the president's trip to Mexico City.



"A new dog in the White House. I believe there hasn't been a dog in the White House since that pack of semi-domesticated wolves that Cheney kept in his dungeon." --David Letterman



Rock-The-Voter News


Don’t mess with Texas. Or else.

That’s the message Gov. Rick Perry sent to officials in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday after he attended a tea party rally in Austin.

He said the federal government has strayed somewhat from what our founders wanted and is choking Americans with excessive spending and taxation.

Although Perry made it clear that he doesn’t see the need to secede and isn’t advocating it, he said there’s no question that it’s on the mind of some Texans. That was obvious at tea parties around the state, where "Secede" was a popular sign slogan.




Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is rumored to be interested in joining a reality show. I believe the title is “Dancing with the Truth.” - Laugh Lines



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Biz-Tech News


There was some very bad news today for General Motors. They’ve had to recall more than one million cars due to safety reasons. The one million cars were very easy to locate. No one had bought them. They’re still in the showrooms. -Craig Ferguson


Bush-Prison-Torture News


Now, apparently, what’s happened is that experts are saying car sales are down this year, but marijuana sales are up. So today, General Motors introduced a new car made of weed, the Plymouth Doobie.-Craig Ferguson




Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is rumored to be interested in joining a reality show. I believe the title is “Dancing with the Truth.” - Laugh Lines






They Judged A Book By It's Cover and the Book Won




Over a third of the way there! Thank you!


Retention bonuses aren't only for AIG executives!


24 donations to date


Yesterday's donation: Thank you



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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



An advertisement for a new Tex-Mex style hamburger hangs in a Burger King window in central Madrid April 14, 2009. Mexico's ambassador to Spain said posters for the new "Texican whopper inappropriately display the Mexican flag, which is draped over a diminutive wrestler like a poncho. "This advertisement denigrates the image of our country and uses improperly Mexico's national flag," Jorge Zermeno wrote in a letter to Burger King in Spain, the Reforma newspaper reported. Mexico has strict laws prohibiting the defamation of the flag, Zermeno said. He asked Burger King to cancel the ad campaign that "offends Mexicans and Mexico." AHNC wonders what the hell was Burger King thinking?

Photo/Paul Hanna




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"Lisa, Congrats on your sweep! As George Bush might have said, 'Lucky me, I hit the trifecta.' Seriously, I'm glad to be able to salute you and all the great laughs you provide." - Daniel Kurtzman, Guide to Political Humor.







Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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