All Hat No Cattle
Obama, GOP congresswoman lock horns on equal pay

President Obama and Republican Conference Chair Cathy McMorris Rodgers, R-Wash., sparred
over equal pay proposals Saturday, with the president accusing Republicans in Congress of blocking
measures that would ensure women are paid fairly, and McMorris Rodgers insisting Democrats are
all talk on the issues that matter to women.

"Hillary Clinton yesterday made some very strong remarks about the media. She said that
the media treat powerful women with a double standard. Or as it got reported in most
places, 'Hillary Clinton shows off sassy new haircut.'"
–Jimmy Fallon
The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam
"In a recent survey, 84 percent of Americans were unable to locate Ukraine on a map. When he
heard this, Vladimir Putin said, 'That's easy, it's in Russia now.'"
–Conan O'Brien
Hijacking of a Country Continues...

Ukraine's interior minister announced Sunday that government forces had launched an operation against
pro-Russian activists who seized a police station in the city of Slaviansk.
Republican Shenanigans
"Obamacare hit its numbers. Despite all the initial problems,
surpassed the enrollment goal, over 7 million. Now the Republicans are saying that
they're going to repeal the Internet."
–Bill Maher
Really? North Korea Has More Freedom Than America? Who Knew? Fox
News, That's Who!

Fox News host Mike Huckabee on Saturday suggested to a group of conservatives that there was “more
freedom in North Korea” than the United States had under President Barack Obama.
"George W. Bush will open an art exhibit at his presidential library that will feature
portraits he painted of various world leaders. He was going to include a painting of bin
Laden, but he couldn't find it."
–Jimmy Fallon
Rock The Voter News
"Evil Russian president Vladimir Putin and his wife have divorced. They say it was amicable.
It must be because she's still alive."
–David Letterman
"The North Korean dictator is in the news again. He was re-elected with 100 percent
of the vote. He said, 'I haven't been this happy since I scored 700,000 on the SAT
–Conan O'Brien
Meanwhile, The Earth Continues To Heat Up

A new UN report tackling greenhouse-gas emissions should serve as a "wakeup call" for entrepreneurs,
especially in the energy sector, US Secretary of State John Kerry said Sunday.
"'Captain America' is currently the No. 1 movie in China. The Chinese say their
favorite part is when Captain America asks Captain China for a $17 trillion loan."

Conan O'Brien
Business/Tech News
Who said it doesn't pay to be a quitter?

Retail behemoth Amazon is offering warehouse employees $5,000 if they quit their jobs. In a letter to shareholders
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos
explained his decision.
"50 years ago, America's biggest employer was General Motors, where workers made the modern
equivalent of $50 dollars an hour. Today, America's biggest employer is Walmart, where the
average wage is $8 dollars an hour...And Walmart released their annual report this month, and in it
was the fact that most of what Walmart sells is food. And most of their customers need food
stamps to pay for it. Meanwhile, Walmart's owners are so absurdly rich that one of them, Alice
Walton, spent over a billion dollars building an art museum in Bentonville, Arkansas, 500 miles
away from the nearest person who ever would want to look at art. And she said about it, 'For years
I've been thinking about what we can do as a family that can really make a difference.' How about
giving your employees a raise, you deluded nitwit?" –
Bill Maher
"France has passed new legislation that makes it illegal to work after 6 p.m. They're
hoping to encourage workers to spend more time with their mistresses."
–Seth Meyers
All Hat No Cattle
Loves Thank You Gifts
Odd News
Time To Deflate Photo
Swallows Nest Castle, Crimea, Ukraine, errr, Russia, errr, Ukraine. Stay tuned.