March 31  2003

Here is the news: Too much heat... too little light

Wall-to-wall TV, the internet, 24-hour news... Saturation coverage is our only experience of the conflict in Iraq. As the battle for hearts and minds intensifies, is the media helping or hindering our understanding of the war?

Peter Preston
Sunday March 30, 2003
The Observer

There are two interlocking wars here. The first is physical, bombs pouring from the sky, tanks rolling forward; a simple Boy's Own tale of conflict. The other war, emerging ever more starkly as the days pass, is the propaganda war for hearts and minds...

Iraq War Will Produce ' 100 Bin Ladens '
Reuters, UK - 3-31-03  4:30 am cst

CAIRO (Reuters) - Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said on Monday the US-led war on Iraq would produce "one hundred new bin Ladens," driving more Muslims to ...

By Eric Alterman MSNBC
The reason I, and others, are troubled by the fact that this war was planned by and promoted by people who had, almost to a person, managed to avoid serving in the military, was not that such people do not have a right to a voice in the debate or a significant role to play in assessing what the military people claim. Obviously, that’s silly. The point was that they lack the requisite experience to know what can go wrong in war and allow their own ideological obsessions to obscure the messy realities of the battlefield.

Today's cartoon was inspired by the monkeys in man suits short sighted war strategerry.

An American Myth Rides Into the Sunset

PORTLAND, Ore. — On the eve of the Iraqi invasion, the president's advisers were working hard to embed George W. Bush inside the script of the American Western. Rejecting the widespread European frustration with Mr. Bush's Lone Ranger act, Vice President Dick Cheney used his "Meet the Press" appearance to make clear that the president is "a cowboy" who "cuts to the chase." Mr. Bush's blunt talk, the vice president told Tim Russert, is "exactly what the circumstances require."

PETER ARNETT:  We'll hire you as assistant war correspondent to senior War Correspondent Zelda Morgan   EMAIL: zeldamorgan@yahoo.coml

  Assistant War Correspondent Wanted

By Zelda Morgan - All Hat No Cattle War Correspondent 

Dirty Laundry Done Dirt Cheap

March 31 2003

"Media Alert ... WARNING! ... Code Red. Recently, Microsoft/GE ... er um, MSNBC/NBC sh---canned Peter Arnett. They dropped him faster than a blonde dropping an algebraic equation just for telling the truth. Since this travesty occurred --since these slime balls pulled his press pass -- I've gone underground for the time being and I will return your messages when the drugs wear off." - Anita Beer's outgoing message on her cell-phone voicemail.

We, here at AHNC, would like to offer Peter Arnett a job. It just so happens we were discussing adding a new assistant as the workload here has been overwhelming for myself and the editors. This war has been filling our time and we still have many other issues to address. An additional employee on our staff would take up the slack. We understand Peter Arnett is back in the market and we would like to make him an offer. click here

New website- a collection of over 3500 political satire playing cards LINK FIXED

IFJ Demands Inquiry Over Claim of Reporters "Beaten Up" by US Troops
The International Federation of Journalists today demands an "immediate and full inquiry" into reports that three foreign journalists were arrested by US forces in Iraq, beaten up and detained for 48 hours.

Take the BUSHISMS QUIZ from

Iraq Body Count

War Money Accidentally Offered to Peaceful Slovenia
Fri Mar 28,10:42 AM ET Add Oddly Enough - Reuters
LJUBLJANA (Reuters) - The United States mistakenly named Slovenia as a partner in its war against Iraq (news - web sites) and even offered it a share of the money budgeted for the conflict, the tiny Alpine nation said on Thursday.
One day after hundreds of Slovenians hit the streets to protest the inclusion of their nation in Tuesday's U.S. war budget, Prime Minister Anton Rop said Washington goofed

Package of Bones Sent To Florida Congresswoman
WKMG, FL - Mar 29, 2003

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. -- A Florida congresswoman who proposed exhuming the remains of American veterans buried in France and Belgium and shipping them home has received a package of bones in the mail. ... Ginny Brown-Waite, R-Fla., was not in the office Friday when her staff noticed a
peculiar odor coming from a bulging, 8 1/2-by-11-inch envelope postmarked from ...

Another Flori-duh Republican making a fool of herself.  I was driving down HWY 98 in between Ft. Walton Beach and Pensacola yesterday and saw a sign outside a convenience store stating: DUE TO OUR PATRIOTISM WE NO LONGER SERVE FRENCH ROAST COFFEE. I stopped at the nearest wine store and bought a bottle of French wine.

"Naturally, the common people don't want war: Neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." -Hermann Goering at the Nuremberg trials, 1946

Thanks Tito. Why haven't we learned not to repeat history? Blogs Backwards, Down and Right sent in by Bill Blackmon

In thirty years, they've gone from Tricky Dick to a real Dickhead! - Terry Callen

Viewer EMAIL:

Subject: Name Change

I think y'all are due for a name change. I read on the newsnet that W's got somewhere around 45 countries to support his military adventures (by proxy of other peoples' kids, of course ... not him, not his kids) that they are calling the "Coalition of the Willing" which I would immediately turn into an acronym for simplicity's sake, and that being "COW". So, whereas he once had not cow nor cattle, he has now cowed all these countries into becoming his little herd to be heard around the World.

Now, I'm just saying they're cowed COW, not real good beef on the hoof or in the mouth. A quick rundown of the critters goes something like this:
" The list of supporters issued by the state department is: Afghanistan, Albania, Australia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Colombia, the Czech Republic, Denmark, El Salvador, Eritrea, Estonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Hungary, Italy, Japan, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, the Netherlands, Nicaragua, the Philippines, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, South Korea, Spain, Turkey, the United Kingdom and Uzbekistan. "

Now, some of them might be good feed stock and some might even be milkers but it looks as though even one of the more promising ones, the Spaniard, ain't gonna be milked for anything other than moo support (no beef from or on this one) and the best one he's got probably has some Mad Cow affliction. Even Japan is waiting until the smoke clears before being selected for that Kobe stuff.

So, hail, hail the herd's almost there. So, could we be looking for "All Hat, Bum Steers"?

Grand Forks, ND

I love it. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it.

Viewer EMAIL:

Subject: Whew!

Whenever I visit your site, I am able to take a deep breath because SOMEBODY is telling the TRUTH! My frustration builds for days, listening to nationalistic, righteous propaganda. . . . when I want a reality check, I go to AHNC!

My anger & frustration goes out everyday toward the media, which abandoned any pretense of "informing" the public and is literally an arm of the propaganda machine. And what about the vast numbers of citizens who never say, "UH? That just doesn't make sense!?" Or, in the words of AllHatNoCattle, "That Dog Won't Hunt!"

Thank you, thank you, thank you --- Keep doin' what you're doin'!

You are more than welcome. This is the official site for laughing your way through political turmoil laced with credible sources before Bush blows us to Kingdom Come..

Believe me, this site would not exist if it wasn't for all the viewer input.  I, thank, you.

cya with