Wednesday Edition - March 29, 2006
Judges back bill examining domestic
"I am very wary of inherent authority" claimed by presidents, testified U.S. Magistrate Judge Allan Kornblum. "It sounds very much like King George."
Taliban say Afghan offensive is on, 22 dead
Documents track Halliburton battle
I wish Bush would just take the money and run -- but which country would offer him asylum?
E-mail me with the country of your choice
"We're now down to the final four. Not college basketball. The number of people who still think President Bush is doing a good job."--Jay Leno
The massive White House shakeup continues as Cheney and Rumsfeld swap jobs.-- Grant Gerver
Two U.S. Soldiers Killed in Iraqi Attacks AP
Gunmen Storm Iraq Trading Firm, Killing 8 Guardian Unlimited
Moscow says US spying allegations are linked to Iraq tensions RIA Novosti, Russia
Kurdish Protesters Rampage in Turkey AP
Military Won't Charge U.S. Contractors AP
Afghan Lawmakers Demand Convert Stay CBS News
Berlusconi offers asylum to Afghan Christian convert Reuters South Africa
Cha Ching Cheney
In August 2004, the Securities and Exchange
Commission brought charges against the energy-services company,
Halliburton, its former CFO Gary Morris, and its onetime controller Robert
Muchmore Jr. for failure to disclose a change in the company's accounting
practice related to cost overruns.
The change was made during Vice President Cheney's tenure as Halliburton's chief executive. The SEC had alleged that Morris and Muchmore were responsible for hiding a 1998 accounting change that should have been reported in Halliburton's public filings.
"All these old men were the fruit of my loins." -- Claude Kirk, who was governor of Florida from 1967-1971, was the oldest of the governors present at the "Day with the Florida Governors" symposium
"Thousands and thousands of undocumented workers protested yesterday. President Bush was really surprised by the large number of protestors. And you know what? I'm not surprised he was surprised." --David Letterman
We must allow illegal immigrants to move out of the shadows so they're easier to spy on like the rest of us. -- Grant Gerver
Card goes as Bush shuffles his pack
McCain to Speak at Falwell's Liberty Graduation KPHO Phoenix, AZ
Abramoff's Friends Show Up
"He was a natural crusader and political
activist, with great sympathy for our un-represented Commonwealth,"
Marianas Gov. Benigno R. Fitial wrote, using official government
The Marianas, known for their low-paying garment factories, hired Abramoff to keep the islands' workers exempt from U.S. laws like the minimum wage.
Air Force Capt. Andrew Cohen, a chaplain, wrote the court about Abramoff's generosity in taking in Cohen's family of seven for several weeks last yearwhen the military family couldn't find housing.
“Remember last week when Jessica Simpson declined to meet President Bush at that Republican fundraiser? That was a big story about ten days ago? Well, she now says they have plans to sit down together and talk face to face. President Bush talking with Jessica Simpson, wow. That should be a real no-brainer, huh?” -- Jay Leno
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The Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting Bambi ( a deer), or a tree chicken (a squirrel), and has everything to do with the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence - about our right and duty to throw off abusive government! Read it! -- Zing!
Made Up Word Gets Woman Arrested
A bumper sticker that takes a double-entendre dig at
President Bush has landed a woman in trouble with the law.
Denise Grier, 47, of Athens was recently pulled over in suburban Atlanta's DeKalb County where she works as a nurse when a police officer spotted her bumper sticker that reads: "I'm Tired Of All The BUSHIT."
Oil Prices Fall Below $66 a Barrel Houston Chronicle
Ann Coulter Would Look Lovely In Black and White Stripes
This time, claiming she doesn't even live here —
as GOP pundit Ann Coulter has been doing on this spring's college speaking
tour when she's questioned about her February election meltdown on Palm
Beach — isn't going to cut it.
Palm Beach County's elections supervisor has given the right wing's unofficial mouthpiece 30 days to explain why she voted in the wrong precinct.
"We want to give her a chance," Anderson said. "She needs to tell us where she really lives."
Or else? He could refer the case to State Attorney Barry Krischer for criminal charges, Anderson said
"According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House." --Jay Leno
Guantánamo's day of reckoning in supreme court
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“Cheney wants bottled water, he wants
lights on, temperature at 68, TVs tuned to Fox News. And I was thinking my God,
I wish they would put this much preparation into the Iraqi war, you know, for
-- David Letterman
Watch your mouth! Profanity getting worse, poll says Chicago Sun-Times
Boca Raton officer leaves gun in bathroom before Cheney event Bradenton Herald
Name That Toon Runners Up
Bush says, "They told me it was an economy model, and that's what I do with economies."
Cop: "Boy! Right when I'd thought he'd hit bottom...." - Dan in Austin
My entire administration is in that SUV. - VT
No, this isn't Iraqi policy, it's the budget. - VT
It's the media's fault! -VT
"You're not reporting all the good news...The building didn't fall in!" - John V
“It wasn’t me, it was Bill Clinton and the Democrats that drove America into the ground” - Bobby Lee
Policeman: "And yet we're STILL letting this idiot drive the country." - Nick
"it was Cheney, who shot me" - Rene from the Netherlands
UNCLE DICK! I FOUND THE WMDS! - James
Policeman: 'hey, Charlie, isn't it time for our donut break?' - Kathy from TN
Don't start with the negative reporting!! The tires are just fine!!! -- Paolo
I thought they only dropped hoses on wicked witches!
Officer says "That's what he gets for letting Laura drive him to the press conference"
Police: "Ok, we slowed him down for you....... now please, impeach this reckless driver!" - Donna
"Anyone seen my approval rating...I know I left it down here somewhere." - b
GW: Is there NOTHING he can't drive into a ditch? - Kytn
1. Hey folks, this is nothing
compared to the hole I've plunged the country into.
2. Hey everybody! I just found Cheney's undisclosed location!
3. Pickles, why did I ever talk you into letting me drive one of these automobility thingys?
4. Crumbling infrastructure? What crumbling infrastructure? I meant to do this.
5. When you've stolen as much of the country's wealth as I have, you're bound to ride a little heavy.
6. Clancy, this is the guy who's at the helm of our Ship of State. Saints preserve us!
7. Great! He slips out of Cheney's leash for just a few minutes and look what happens.
8. He can't handle pretzels, bicycles or Segways. What made him think he could handle an SUV?
With Bush in the picture, this stuff practically writes itself!
Great humor therapy for us discouraged progressives. Thanks
and keep 'em coming! -Ron Thanks Ron! It's my job!
Policeman: “I wish he wouldn’t give a “Mission Accomplished” speech every time he wrecks something… At least this time it’s only a jeep.”
IF I DRIVE RIGHT TO THE OIL
SOURCE. I CAN CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MAN MO' MONEY MO' MONEY
EVERYTHING IS JUST FALLING APART AROUND ME
HOW'S THIS FOR AN EXIT STRATEGY
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE LEVEE'S BROKE
DEADEYE DICK SHOT OUT MY TIRES
I'VE BEEN HIDING FROM THE NATIONAL GUARD
OH NO ANOTHER HOLE I CAN'T GET OUT OF
THIS SUV DROPPED JUST LIKE MY APPROVAL RATINGS
I PUT ALL THE MONEY I STOLE IN MY TRUCK AND IT COLLAPSED THE STREET
I STAYED THE COURSE AS ALWAYS SO WHAT HAPPENED
I ONLY HAD A FEW DRINKS
SINCE 9/11 THE STREETS HAVE NOT BEEN PAVED
I GOING UNDERGROUND TO MEET SATAN
HI I'M DUMB-YA FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL
I JUST PUT THE UAE IN CHARGE FOR REPAVING STREETS I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM
NO ONE COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED THE COLLAPSE OF THIS STREET
I'M DRILLING FOR OIL WITH THIS OIL DRILLING SUV
I'M ADDICTED TO STUPID BEHAVIOR
THE POLICE CAN'T INTERVIEW ME UNTIL 24 HOURS FROM NOW
I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE I STILL CAN'T FIND THOSE WMD'S
I'M GIVING HALLIBURTON THE NO-BID CONTRACT TO PAVE THE STREETS
ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME IN A RIDE TO HELL?
Bush: Isn't it just like the media to report the bad news. - John from Japan
Nobody could have foreseen that little bitty pothole in the road...- John from Japan
"The Dick was safe in his bunker till I dropped in"
Bush is saying..." I want my mommie, where's my mommie."
The two guards are thinking.. .1st guard,"Geez, glad he didn't go to Vietnam, he may have gotten everybody killed" .
2nd guard," Look..hehe...too dumb to just crawl out of the hole, waiting on Mommie to come get him out."
I propose cognitive dissonance as an unlimited power source. - bob
"I'm trapped in a hole with my own logical fallacies."- bob
Policeman: Doesn't that idiot know that the where are the WMD's joke is not funny? - Susan
It is important to stay the course. - Moe
"Mommy" - Bill C
Uncle Dick!! Uncle Rove!! Somebody,
please show me how to put this terrorist vehicle in 4-wheel reverse!!!!!!!!!!
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Police say Pa. teens kill man after he mooned them
Hormone could cut spider phobia
China disputes 'boiled baby' jibe CNN International
The sun is seen during a partial eclipse at Bukovo 100 km (62.1 miles) from the regional main city of Cherkessk in the North Caucasus in the south of Russia, March 29, 2006. The track of the eclipse stretched from eastern Brazil , across the Atlantic to north Africa, then on to the Middle East, Central Asia, west China and Mongolia. Photo by Eduard Korniyenko