Wednesday Edition - March 29, 2006

I wish Bush would just take the money and run -- but which country would offer him asylum?

E-mail me with the country of your choice

Cha Ching Cheney

Rock-The-Voter News

• Democrats in Vermont to Weigh Impeachment AP

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The Second Amendment has nothing to do with hunting Bambi ( a deer), or a tree chicken (a squirrel), and has everything to do with the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence - about our right and duty to throw off abusive government! Read it! -- Zing!

Ann Coulter Would Look Lovely In Black and White Stripes

Go-F*ck-Yourself News

• Watch your mouth! Profanity getting worse, poll says Chicago Sun-Times

• Boca Raton officer leaves gun in bathroom before Cheney event Bradenton Herald

Name That Toon Runners Up

• Bush says, "They told me it was an economy model, and that's what I do with economies."

• Cop: "Boy! Right when I'd thought he'd hit bottom...." - Dan in Austin

• My entire administration is in that SUV. - VT

• No, this isn't Iraqi policy, it's the budget.  - VT

• It's the media's fault! -VT

• "You're not reporting all the good news...The building didn't fall in!" - John V

• “It wasn’t me, it was Bill Clinton and the Democrats that drove America into the ground” - Bobby Lee

• Policeman: "And yet we're STILL letting this idiot drive the country." - Nick

• "it was Cheney, who shot me" - Rene from the Netherlands

• UNCLE DICK! I FOUND THE WMDS! - James

• Policeman: 'hey, Charlie, isn't it time for our donut break?' - Kathy from TN

• Don't start with the negative reporting!! The tires are just fine!!! -- Paolo

• I thought they only dropped hoses on wicked witches!

• Officer says "That's what he gets for letting Laura drive him to the press conference"

• Police:  "Ok, we slowed him down for you....... now please,  impeach this reckless driver!" - Donna

• "Anyone seen my approval rating...I know I left it down here somewhere." - b

• GW: Is there NOTHING he can't drive into a ditch? - Kytn

• 1. Hey folks, this is nothing compared to the hole I've plunged the country into.
  
  2. Hey everybody! I just found Cheney's undisclosed location!
  
  3. Pickles, why did I ever talk you into letting me drive one of these automobility thingys?
  
  4. Crumbling infrastructure? What crumbling infrastructure? I meant to do this.
  
  5. When you've stolen as much of the country's wealth as I have, you're bound to ride a little heavy.
  
  6. Clancy, this is the guy who's at the helm of our Ship of State. Saints preserve us!
  
  7. Great! He slips out of Cheney's leash for just a few minutes and look what happens.
  
  8. He can't handle pretzels, bicycles or Segways. What made him think he could handle an SUV?
  
  Lisa,
  With Bush in the picture, this stuff practically writes itself!
  Great humor therapy for us discouraged progressives. Thanks
  and keep 'em coming! -Ron  Thanks Ron! It's my job!

• Policeman: “I wish he wouldn’t give a “Mission Accomplished” speech every time he wrecks something… At least this time it’s only a jeep.”

• IF I DRIVE RIGHT TO THE OIL SOURCE. I CAN CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MAN MO' MONEY MO' MONEY
  
  EVERYTHING IS JUST FALLING APART AROUND ME
  
  HOW'S THIS FOR AN EXIT STRATEGY
  
  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE LEVEE'S BROKE
  
  DEADEYE DICK SHOT OUT MY TIRES
  
  I'VE BEEN HIDING FROM THE NATIONAL GUARD
  
  OH NO ANOTHER HOLE I CAN'T GET OUT OF
  
  THIS SUV DROPPED JUST LIKE MY APPROVAL RATINGS
  
  I PUT ALL THE MONEY I STOLE IN MY TRUCK AND IT COLLAPSED THE STREET
  
  I STAYED THE COURSE AS ALWAYS SO WHAT HAPPENED
  
  I ONLY HAD A FEW DRINKS
  
  SINCE 9/11 THE STREETS HAVE NOT BEEN PAVED
  
  I GOING UNDERGROUND TO MEET SATAN
  
  IT'S ALIVE
  
  HI I'M DUMB-YA FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL
  
  I JUST PUT THE UAE IN CHARGE FOR REPAVING STREETS I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM
  
  NO ONE COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED THE COLLAPSE OF THIS STREET
  
  I'M DRILLING FOR OIL WITH THIS OIL DRILLING SUV
  
  I'M ADDICTED TO STUPID BEHAVIOR
  
  THE POLICE CAN'T INTERVIEW ME UNTIL 24 HOURS FROM NOW
  
  I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE I STILL CAN'T FIND THOSE WMD'S
  
  HELP MOMMY
  
  I'M GIVING HALLIBURTON THE NO-BID CONTRACT TO PAVE THE STREETS
  
  ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME IN A RIDE TO HELL?

          -Orlando

• Bush: Isn't it just like the media to report the bad news. - John from Japan

• Nobody could have foreseen that little bitty pothole in the road...- John from Japan

• "The Dick was safe in his bunker till I dropped in"

• Bush is saying..." I want my mommie, where's my mommie."

• The two guards are thinking.. .1st guard,"Geez, glad he didn't go to Vietnam, he may have gotten everybody killed" .

• 2nd guard," Look..hehe...too dumb to just crawl out of the hole, waiting on Mommie to come get him out."

• I propose cognitive dissonance as an unlimited power source. - bob

•  "I'm trapped in a hole with my own logical fallacies."- bob

• Policeman: Doesn't that idiot know that the where are the WMD's joke is not funny? - Susan

• It is important to stay the course. - Moe

• "Mommy" - Bill C

• Uncle Dick!! Uncle Rove!! Somebody, please show me how to put this terrorist vehicle in 4-wheel reverse!!!!!!!!!! - Sid
  
  Thank you for all of your fantastic entries!

   

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Did you have a good time today?