Monday edition - March 23, 2009




GOP predicts doomsday if Obama budget passed
The Associated Press - ‎3-23-09
WASHINGTON (AP) — Congressional Republicans on Sunday predicted a doomsday scenario of crushing debt and eventual federal bankruptcy ... Sen. Susan Collins, a Maine Republican who sided with Obama on his $787 billion economic stimulus plan, said she couldn't support the White House plan this time...


In Afghanistan, US military's `Help Wanted' sign
The Associated Press - ‎3-23-09
WASHINGTON (AP) — The military buildup in Afghanistan is stoking a surge of private security contractors despite a string of deadly shootings in Iraq in

On '60 Minutes,' Obama rebukes Cheney criticism
CNN - ‎3-23-09
(CNN) -- President Obama said in an interview aired Sunday that the hardest decision he's made since taking office was to send more troops to Afghanistan

And earlier today, the President held a town meeting, and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was there. And I thought it was great to see the President reaching out to California’s non-English-speaking community.- Jay Leno



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush


Subject: Weekend commentary

Hi Lisa ...

Once again, Political Correctness rears its beauty-challenged head. Now, we won’t even be able to refer to a flame-retardant … no, it will have to be a ‘flame-challenger’ from now on.

Funny thing: no one I have talk to was personally offended by the quip (although none of my friends, even the ones with special needs kids, tends towards righteous indignation) but, to a person, they all thought somebody else would be. Imagine: we have learned to be offended.

Now the Special Olympics people want President Obama to hire an “intellectually challenged” person to work in the White House. I think we should hold off on that for a little while: we just got rid of the last one on January 20th.

I just have one observation: if people think it says something about Obama that he made a Special Olympics joke, what does it say about us that we got it? We knew what he was talking about. The comment was un-PC but nothing more.

Let’s keep our eyes on the right (bowling) ball – “It’s the economy, stupid!”


Too bad Obama didn't say, "I bowl as well as Bush eats pretzels."

No one would have been offended by that!

Check out this Dallas Magazine

Ode To The Easily Offended
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are people quite readily stressed
And appalled by the innocent jest.
Our problems are great,
Yet they’re often irate
Over nonsense. Is umbrage their quest?

AIG, Citing Security Concerns, to Merge With Blackwater



Disturbing News

Joe The Plumber Is Horny

Joe the Plumber got hot and bothered in Washington last night.

Appearing unable to contain his libido in the nation's capital, Samuel Wurzelbacher, better known as Joe the Plumber, expressed his sexual urge to a sea of conservatives gathered at Washington's Grand Hyatt hotel.

"God, all this love and everything in the room - I'm horny," Joe said on-stage.

Palin Against Building Codes

"For instance, in order to accept what look like attractive energy funds, our local communities would be required to adopt uniform building codes," she said. "Government would then be required to police those codes. These types of funds are not sensible for Alaska."


Republican-Shenanigans News


The Washington Post reporting that senior executives at A.I.G. whose decisions caused the companies to collapse are long gone and that these bonuses that everybody’s complaining about are actually being paid to people who are trying to fix the problem. O.K., here’s my thing. Fix the problem, then you get the bonus.- Jay Leno





Secret Service Loses Van, Jenna Bush OK



Baltimore transportation officials towed a Secret Service van connected with former first daughter Jenna Bush's security detail yesterday, according to city and federal officials...Children of former presidents receive protection until age 16, according to the Secret Service's Web site. It was not immediately clear why Bush, 27, is still entitled to that security.

Rock-The-Voter News


This handout from Russian advertising agency Voskhod shows a smiling, cartoonish black man flashing the victory sign in front of the US capital building, along with the Russian slogan: "Everyone's talking about it: dark inside white!" Obama ice cream, anyone? Chocolate-vanilla ice cream is one of several Russian products being marketed using Obama even as critics call the ads racist.



"I think it would be cool to be president. You know what I would do if I was president? I would watch the movie 'Air Force One' on Air Force One." --Jay Leno



Subject: Robotic Fish


Am I the only one who sees the scary potential use of these fish as spy equipment and covert explosives delivery robots? I seriously doubt the british government really cares about preventing pollution with this technology although they may cloak the program in such aims, much as the CIA infitrates aid groups and peace corps missions with corporate spies. The use of robotic insects begs the same question for terrestrial operations and assasinations. One can even imagine one of these benevolan Fishybots delivering a plague of assasination flies loaded with a hi-tech poison destined for labor leaders, pesky webmasters and pinkos!

Peace & keep up your amazing work! I could scarcly bear life without your site!



Assassination FishBots...OMG, I snorkel!

I bet the CIA already has their own robots of all kinds, for whatever they need. The CIA to me, is like the Bourne series, the good CIA vs the bad CIA.

Your kind comment touched my heart. Deep curtsy.


Graphic sent in by Bob Boldt

Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


"Terror struck Orange County last night as someone toilet papered the new home of Octomom Nadya Suleman. I will say this, it's nice to see that Americans can finally afford to waste toilet paper again, maybe the economy is turning around." - Jimmy Kimmel


Bush-Prison-Torture News


Today In History


On March 23, 1775, Patrick Henry addressed the Virginia Provincial Convention; according to biographer William Wirt, it was during this speech that Henry declared, "Give me liberty, or give me death!"


In 1919, Benito Mussolini founded his Fascist political movement in Milan.


In 1933, the German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act, which effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial powers.


In 1956, Pakistan became an Islamic republic.


Five years ago: A federal commission said Clinton and Bush administration officials had engaged in lengthy, ultimately fruitless diplomatic efforts instead of military action to try to get Osama bin Laden before the Sept. 11 attacks; top Bush officials countered that the terror attacks would have occurred even if the United States had killed the al-Qaida leader.





Lest we forget …

the moronic behavior of the past President who so seriously harmed our nation, All Hat No Cattle now offers a different notable quotation from George W. Bush each week.

“We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.” – Sept. 23, 2002


In case you missed it …

In its tireless effort to provide news and giggles for its readers, All Hat No Cattle offers this Monday glimpse back at the previous week with an emphasis on the weekend dump. (We mean the time preferred by government officials, politicians and titans of industry to release unsavory news in the hope it receives less media coverage – not the bathroom activity.)

Sun. 3-22-09

Biker gangs offer security services at concerts, bars, airports
SYDNEY (AP) – Warring bikers brawled through Australia's largest airport Sunday, beating one suspected gang member to death and brandishing metal poles "like swords" as they rampaged through the main domestic terminal in front of terrified travelers.

Police said a group of suspected gang members was ambushed as they disembarked from an airplane.

"A fight ensued, the fight moved through various parts of the terminal," said Police Detective Inspector Peter Williams. He said 15 men were involved in the violence, which rampaged from the ground floor up one level to the departures hall before most of the men fled.

Williams said one man died in a hospital from head injuries after the brawl, which appeared to bear out warnings of an impending biker war in Sydney.

Four men were arrested, Williams said. The others escaped, some of them by hailing taxis, local media reported.
Authorities fear a gang war is brewing in Sydney following a string of drive-by shootings and an explosion last month outside a fortified Hell's Angel's clubhouse.


Lethal air pollution in Asia, South America might hurt tourism

GENEVA (AFP) – International experts are warning that potentially lethal air pollution has boomed in fast-growing big cities in Asia and South America in recent decades.

While Europe has managed to drastically cut some, but not all, of the most noxious pollutants over the past 20 years, emerging nations experienced the opposite trend with their fast economic growth, scientists at the UN's meteorological agency said Sunday.

Their comments came ahead of World Meteorological Day on Monday, which this year has the theme "The Air We Breathe".

The World Health Organization estimates that about two million people die prematurely every year as a result of air pollution, while many more suffer from breathing ailments, heart disease, lung infections and even cancer.


Sat., 3-21-09

Lifestyles of the rich and infamous draw visitors
FAIRFIELD, Conn. (AP) – A busload of activists representing working- and middle-class families paid visits Saturday to the lavish homes of American International Group executives to protest the tens of millions of dollars in bonuses awarded by the struggling insurance company after it received a massive federal bailout.

About 40 protesters — outnumbered by reporters and photographers from as far away as Germany — sought to urge AIG executives who received a portion of the $165 million in bonuses to do more to help families.

"We think $165 million could be used in a more appropriate way to keep people in their homes, create more jobs and health care," said Emeline Bravo-Blackport, a gardener.

She marveled at AIG executive James Hass' colonial house, which has stunning views of a golf course and the Long Island Sound. The Fairfield house is "another part of the world" from her life in nearby Bridgeport, which flirted with bankruptcy in the 1990s and still struggles with foreclosures and unemployment."

"Lord, I wonder what it's like to live in a house that size," she said.


Romania might allow consensual incest – like some parts of U.S.   

BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) – Surprising as it may seem, incest is not always a crime in Europe.

Three European Union nations — France, Spain and Portugal — do not prosecute consenting adults for incest, and Romania is considering following suit.

Laws exempting parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters from prosecution for incestuous acts if they are not forced upon adult family members are decades old in France, Spain and Portugal.

In Romania, decriminalizing incest among consenting adults is being considered as part of a wide range of reforms to the country's criminal code.
Incest is defined as sexual intercourse between people too closely related to marry legally. In the United States, all 50 states and the District of Columbia prohibit even consensual incest, although a few states impose
no criminal penalties for it, according to the Harvard Law Review.


Fri., 3-20-09
Surprise, surprise: Budget deficit worse than predicted
WASHINGTON (AP) – President Barack Obama's budget would generate deficits averaging almost $1 trillion a year over the next decade, according to the latest congressional estimates, significantly worse than predicted by the White House just last month.

The Congressional Budget Office figures, obtained by The Associated Press Friday, predict Obama's budget will produce $9.3 trillion worth of red ink over 2010-2019. That's $2.3 trillion worse than the White House predicted in its budget.

Worst of all, CBO says the deficit under Obama's policies would never go below 4 percent of the size of the economy, figures that economists agree are unsustainable. By the end of the decade, the deficit would exceed 5 percent of gross domestic product, a dangerously high level.

The latest figures, even worse than expected by top Democrats, throw a major monkey wrench into efforts to enact Obama's budget, which promises universal health care for all and higher spending for domestic programs like education and research into renewable energy.

Thurs., 3-19-09
Guess what, Kamal? You’re never going home
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) – Many detainees locked up at Guantanamo were innocent men swept up by U.S. forces unable to distinguish enemies from noncombatants, a former Bush administration official said Thursday. "There are still innocent people there," Lawrence B. Wilkerson, a Republican who was chief of staff to then-Secretary of State Colin Powell, told The Associated Press. "Some have been there six or seven years."

Wilkerson, who first made the assertions in an Internet posting, told the AP he learned from briefings and by communicating with military commanders that the U.S. soon realized many Guantanamo detainees were innocent but nevertheless held them in hopes they could provide information for a "mosaic" of intelligence.

Wilkerson, a retired Army colonel, said vetting on the battlefield during the early stages of U.S. military operations in Afghanistan was incompetent with no meaningful attempt to discriminate "who we were transporting to Cuba for detention and interrogation."


Wed., 3-18-09
And a happy St. Patrick’s Day to you, too!
DUBLIN (AP) – Cars torched, firefighters attacked, police bombarded and neighbors terrified: It was another fine St. Patrick's Day in Ireland, where inebriated mobs annually turn districts of Dublin and Belfast into a nightmare.
Authorities were counting the cost Wednesday from trouble associated with dusk-to-dawn drinking on Ireland's national holiday.
Police in the Republic of Ireland said they were still adding up the number of public-order arrests from Tuesday's festivities but said the total would easily exceed 200, typical for recent years.
Police in Northern Ireland clashed with some of the British territory's most privileged youth — hundreds of students at Queen's University, the major college in Belfast — in what authorities called the worst public drinking-related confrontation of any recent St. Patrick's Day.
Nineteen teenagers and 20-somethings, mostly Queen's students, were arrested during several hours of clashes with riot police. Belfast police Superintendent Chris Noble said most were still sobering up Wednesday in their cells, while five were arraigned in court on charges of riotous behavior.


Tues., 3-17-09
Pope recommends big hats instead of condoms to fight AIDS
YAOUNDE, Cameroon (AP) – Condoms are not the answer to Africa's fight against HIV, Pope Benedict XVI said Tuesday as he began a weeklong trip to the continent. It was the pope's first explicit statement on an issue that has divided even clergy working with AIDS patients.

Benedict arrived in Yaounde, Cameroon's capital, on Tuesday afternoon, greeted by a crowd of flag-waving faithful and snapping cameras. The visit is his first pilgrimage as pontiff to Africa.

In his four years as pope, Benedict had never directly addressed condom use, although his position is not new. His predecessor, Pope John Paul II, often said that sexual abstinence — not condoms — was the best way to prevent the spread of the disease.

The Roman Catholic Church rejects the use of condoms as part of its overall teaching against artificial contraception. Senior Vatican officials have advocated fidelity in marriage and abstinence from premarital sex as key weapons in the fight against AIDS.

About 22 million people in sub-Saharan Africa are infected with HIV, according to UNAIDS. In 2007, three-quarters of all AIDS deaths worldwide were there, as well as two-thirds of all people living with HIV.

Mon., 3-16-09
New site found for George W. Bush Presidential Library
MONTAGUE, Texas (AP) – For months, perhaps longer, the Montague County Jail was "Animal House" meets Mayberry. Inside the small brick building across from the courthouse, inmates had the run of the place, having sex with their jailer girlfriends, bringing in recliners, taking drugs and chatting on cell phones supplied by friends or guards, according to authorities. They also disabled some of the surveillance cameras and made weapons out of nails.

The doors to two groups of cells didn't lock, but apparently no one tried to escape — perhaps because they had everything they needed inside.

The jailhouse escapades — some of which date to 2006, according to authorities — have rocked Montague (pronounced mahn-TAYG), a farming and ranching town of several hundred people near the Oklahoma line, about 65 miles northwest of Fort Worth.

There were whispers in the past year about an affair between a female jailer and male inmate, but folks dismissed the rumors as small-town gossip. It was not until late last month, when a Texas grand jury returned a 106-count indictment against the former sheriff and 16 others, that the inmates-gone-wild scandal broke wide open.










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Odd News

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An handout rendering shows the Chicago Spire (2nd L). The planned 150-story Chicago Spire would be 2,000 feet tall (610 m) if it gets built atop its completed foundation, ranking the tower the tallest in the Western Hemisphere and the sixth-tallest among the world's planned skyscrapers. Photo/Courtesy of Shelbourne Development




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