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Tuesday edition - February 27, 2007
Who's going to remove us from harm's way caused by this administration and now the Democratic Congress? Geez, what did our forefathers give us the articles of impeachment and the second amendment for?
"Monday was Presidents' Day, and as expected, President Bush was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents." --Amy Poehler
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News
"Everybody but George Bush seems to understand that this war is over. The British are pulling out now. ... They're all going. Lithuania said this week they are 'seriously considering reducing their force of 53 troops.' It's a small force, but very effective. So far, they've killed a dozen insurgents and three vampires." --Bill Maher
Bush Goes Back to His Roots --> Campaigning
Returning to campaign mode,
President Bush on Monday began his fundraising drive to help Republicans regain
the power they lost less than four months ago.
Laura Bush on Larry King
On the Iraq War
KING: So it's going to be
going on when you leave office?
Short Pillow Talk On All
Issues KING: Do you talk about it a
lot with the president?
Disturbing News
"Condoleezza Rice insists the coalition is still intact. But you know Condi -- Bush could walk into the Oval Office naked and she'd say, 'Nice tie.'" --Bill Maher
I'm not a member of an organized party. I'm a Democrat! - Will Rogers
Democratic
leaders backed away from aggressive plans to limit President Bush's war
authority,
the latest sign of divisions within their ranks over how to proceed.
Chernobyl leads pack in wooing Bush Library - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Republican Shenanigans
"You all ready for the Oscars? ... Al Gore is expected to win for his documentary on global warming. I hope he ... includes President Bush in the acceptance speech. I mean, without President Bush, we probably wouldn't have a lot of this global warming." --Jay Leno
Gambling Your Tax Dollars
A former Treasury Department employee was sentenced to nine months in federal prison Monday for stealing more than $67,000 in uncut sheets of $100 bills that he tried to launder through casino slot machines.
Rock-The-Voter News
"Here is a little difference between our country and Great Britain: Prince Harry -- third in line to the Royal Throne -- he's going to Iraq. He's going to be in a tank unit. ... On the other hand, the Bush twins are getting tanked ... and they are going to re-invade Margaritaville." --Bill Maher
Well, Duh
Strained by the demands of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, there is a significant risk that the U.S. military won't be able to quickly and fully respond to yet another crisis, according to a new report to Congress.
"Britney Spears is back in rehab. Two weeks ago, I didn't think it was possible to lose a custody battle with Kevin Federline. But five years ago, I didn't think it would be possible to lose a war with the Sunnis." --Bill Maher
A BEHIND-THE-SCENES LOOK AT BUSH’S ‘KITCHEN CABINET’
Biz-Tech News
"Three large balloons were floated above the Pentagon this past weekend, as the U.S. Defense Department tested its chemical and biological weapon defenses. So, rest easy America. In case of an attack, we've got three large balloons." --Seth Meyers
This just in: the White House has a secret plan for winning in Iraq. It's so secret, they don't even know what it is yet. - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"It looks like Hollywood is starting to turn on Hillary Clinton. Hollywood mogul David Geffen -- he's given huge amounts to the Clintons -- told columnist Maureen Dowd of the New York Times that Hillary Clinton is too scripted, that Bill Clinton is reckless, and both of the Clintons lie so easily it's troubling. Bad scripts, reckless behavior, and lying -- thank God that kind of thing can never happen here in Hollywood." --Jay Leno
Go-F***-Yourself News
You know, maybe we have it all wrong and we just don't know what's best for us like the White House does. - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com
Please donate so I can put food on my family
Odd News
China's first panda cub of the year has survived the crucial first three days of her life, state media reported Monday. The female cub weighed just 90.2 grams (3.2 ounces) at birth, but has gained seven grams in the three days, increasing her chances of survival, Xinhua News Agency said. (Photo/Xinhua)
Peace.
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