Tuesday edition - February 27, 2007





Suicide bomber targets Cheney during visit
Chicago Sun-Times, IL - 2-27-07
BAGRAM, Afghanistan -- A suicide bomber killed 19 people and wounded 11 outside the main US military base in Afghanistan on Tuesday during a visit ...


Democrats Back Away From Iraq Plan
CBS News, NY - 2-27-07
Democratic leaders backed away from aggressive plans to limit President Bush's war authority, the latest sign of ...

2 Army Units Will Forgo Desert Training
Guardian Unlimited, UK - 2-27-07
The two units that are skipping their National Training Center sessions are among five Army brigades that are being dispatched to Baghdad on an sped-up ...


Who's going to remove us from harm's way caused by this administration and now the Democratic Congress? Geez, what did our forefathers give us the articles of impeachment and the second amendment for?


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"Monday was Presidents' Day, and as expected, President Bush was up at the crack of dawn, ready to open presents." --Amy Poehler





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


"Everybody but George Bush seems to understand that this war is over. The British are pulling out now. ... They're all going. Lithuania said this week they are 'seriously considering reducing their force of 53 troops.' It's a small force, but very effective. So far, they've killed a dozen insurgents and three vampires." --Bill Maher


Bush Goes Back to His Roots --> Campaigning


Returning to campaign mode, President Bush on Monday began his fundraising drive to help Republicans regain the power they lost less than four months ago.

"My political agenda is this: more Republican governors, take back control of the House and the Senate and make sure we keep the White House in 2008," Bush told cheering donors




Laura Bush on Larry King



On the Iraq War


KING: So it's going to be going on when you leave office?

BUSH: Probably. I mean I have no idea and there's no way I could predict. But I hope not. I hope that they can build their government and reconcile with each other and build a country. This is their opportunity to seize the moment, to build a really good and stable country. And many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everybody.


Short Pillow Talk On All Issues

KING: Do you talk about it a lot with the president?

BUSH: We -- yes. I mean, you know, of course, our conversation every day is about all different parts of these. I mean not -- we don't have long discussions about one issue or the other.



Disturbing News


"Condoleezza Rice insists the coalition is still intact. But you know Condi -- Bush could walk into the Oval Office naked and she'd say, 'Nice tie.'" --Bill Maher





I'm not a member of an organized party. I'm a Democrat! - Will Rogers


Democratic leaders backed away from aggressive plans to limit President Bush's war authority, the latest sign of divisions within their ranks over how to proceed.


Chernobyl leads pack in wooing Bush Library - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com






Republican Shenanigans



"You all ready for the Oscars? ... Al Gore is expected to win for his documentary on global warming. I hope he ... includes President Bush in the acceptance speech. I mean, without President Bush, we probably wouldn't have a lot of this global warming." --Jay Leno


Gambling Your Tax Dollars


A former Treasury Department employee was sentenced to nine months in federal prison Monday for stealing more than $67,000 in uncut sheets of $100 bills that he tried to launder through casino slot machines.


Rock-The-Voter News


"Here is a little difference between our country and Great Britain: Prince Harry -- third in line to the Royal Throne -- he's going to Iraq. He's going to be in a tank unit. ... On the other hand, the Bush twins are getting tanked ... and they are going to re-invade Margaritaville." --Bill Maher




Well, Duh


Strained by the demands of wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, there is a significant risk that the U.S. military won't be able to quickly and fully respond to yet another crisis, according to a new report to Congress.

The assessment, done by the nation's top military officer, Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, represents a worsening from a year ago



"Britney Spears is back in rehab. Two weeks ago, I didn't think it was possible to lose a custody battle with Kevin Federline. But five years ago, I didn't think it would be possible to lose a war with the Sunnis." --Bill Maher



By Don Davis



Biz-Tech News


"Three large balloons were floated above the Pentagon this past weekend, as the U.S. Defense Department tested its chemical and biological weapon defenses. So, rest easy America. In case of an attack, we've got three large balloons." --Seth Meyers



This just in: the White House has a secret plan for winning in Iraq. It's so secret, they don't even know what it is yet. - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com


Bush-Prison-Torture News


"It looks like Hollywood is starting to turn on Hillary Clinton. Hollywood mogul David Geffen -- he's given huge amounts to the Clintons -- told columnist Maureen Dowd of the New York Times that Hillary Clinton is too scripted, that Bill Clinton is reckless, and both of the Clintons lie so easily it's troubling. Bad scripts, reckless behavior, and lying -- thank God that kind of thing can never happen here in Hollywood." --Jay Leno





Go-F***-Yourself News


You know, maybe we have it all wrong and we just don't know what's best for us like the White House does. - Grant "Brad" Gerver, www.seriouskidding.com



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Odd News



China's first panda cub of the year has survived the crucial first three days of her life, state media reported Monday. The female cub weighed just 90.2 grams (3.2 ounces) at birth, but has gained seven grams in the three days, increasing her chances of survival, Xinhua News Agency said. (Photo/Xinhua)