TGIF/Weekend edition - February 17-19, 2006
I wonder if Bush has tried recruiting Katrina evacuees for the military?
"Rumors are that the reason Dick Cheney didn't say anything about the hunting accident for about 24 hours was because he had been drinking. And I'm thinking, well jeez, he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq." --David Letterman
Karzai opposes 'fencing' off Pak-Afghan border Times of India, India
Cleric offers reward for cartoonist's murder Toronto Star, Canada
Denmark shuts embassy CNN International
Experts: Iran years away from bomb Detroit Free Press
Rice: Iran is terrorism 'banker' BBC News, UK
India, Pakistan discuss Iran pipeline project Hindustan Times, India
The Velvet Glove Treatment
When did Cheney first speak to local authorities? The New York Times was
told that a deputy sheriff interviewed Cheney on Saturday night. The
Associated Press was told a deputy sheriff showed up at the ranch that
night, only to be turned away after learning that Cheney would be
Ann Coulter's Voting Irregularities
Palm Beach poll worker says he tried to help GOP-loving pundit Ann Coulter
vote in the right precinct last week. But, Jim Whited says, Coulter dashed
out of the polling place when he told her she needed to file a change of
address...county elections records show Coulter gave an
address in June at the northern tip of the island, on Indian Road, when
Bush has been shooting himself in the foot for years. At least when Cheney goofs, he shoots someone else! -- Zing!
Bush Push to Sell Our Ports to United Arab Emirates = Homeland Insecurity
The Bush administration is defending approval of a $6.8 billion sale that gives a company in the United Arab Emirates control over operations at six major American ports, even as one senator sought a new ban on companies owned by governments overseas in some U.S. shipping operations.
"See, this is why Republicans have to commit white collar crimes to steal money. They're just not good with guns, they don't know how to handle them." --Jay Leno
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"A mere five days after shooting a man in the face, Vice President Dick Cheney broke his silence about the incident by submitting to a no-holds-barred grilling at a public press conference. I'm just kidding. ... Actually, he sat down with Brit Hume on Fox News for not some much a grilling -- more of a teat suckle." --Jon Stewart
Dirty Old Comptroller
Comptroller William Donald Schaefer was unapologetic yesterday after making suggestive comments to a young female aide to the governor during a meeting of the state Board of Public Works.
Faking Contrition Song Parody (Sing to "Waltzing Matilda")
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Cheney feels bad that he shot his good friend.
If you don't buy his story, you're a lib'ral Democrat.
Leave him alone. This harassment must end.
Watch those right-wing pundits shouting on the TV tube,
Claiming that Cheney didn't do nothing wrong.
Don't expect them to challenge anything that Cheney does.
They'll do Dick's will for a smile or a song..."
The rest of my Faking Contrition song parody is here:
More Stuff to Worry About
According to the report, there are four main emerging threats likely to grow in the coming year: hackers using instant messaging to spread viruses and worms; phishing becoming more widespread; virus attacks on cell phones and PDAs; and hackers targeting online brokerage accounts.
"DICK$TER GONE WILD"
EVER WONDER WHAT REALLY GOES ON
AT THE D.C.'S 'SECRET LOCATION' AND THOSE OHHH SO PRIVATE 'HUNTING
"This just in, earlier today, Dick and Lynne Cheney shot up a gas station." --David Letterman
The British are Coming and Buying
National Grid is buying a US gas distribution business in a £329m deal. It is paying Southern Union £285m for the Rhode Island distribution business and will take on £44m of debt.
The U.S. Army said goodbye to its last MASH Thursday, handing over the green tents, emergency room and surgical tables to Pakistani doctors and nurses who had never seen the hit TV show that made the field hospital a household name in America.
Who's Been Smokin' Pot?
Dutch Levees vs New Orleans Levees
Fully one-half of The Netherlands lies below sea level -- but since Medieval times, the Dutch have used a clever and comprehensive system of dikes and levees to keep the country relatively dry.
“Actually, I'm surprised Dick Cheney loves to hunt so much. I mean, the five times the government tried to give him a gun, he got a deferment. What happened there?”-- Jay Leno
“Here's my favorite part of this whole incident. After Cheney shot the guy, the police later showed up at the ranch where Cheney was staying and wanted to talk to him, but was told to come back the next morning. And that's what they did, they came back the next morning. Kev, that ever happen in the hood?”-- Jay Leno
“I did something dumb this weekend. I made a big mistake. I walked into a Muslim bakery, ordered a Danish.” -- Jay Leno
US Mail: Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Estonian custom officer displays cigarettes found inside a hollowed-out bread loaf at Koidula border point in southeast Estonia, February 14. Customs officers on Estonia's border with Russia detained a woman who was trying to smuggle cigarettes hidden inside a loaf of bread into the European Union frontier state.