Tuesday edition - December 5, 2006





Package tossed near White House
Biloxi Sun Herald,  USA - 12-5-06
Streets around the White House were closed Tuesday morning after a woman threw a package into the courtyard of the adjacent Old Executive Office ...


Gates: 'We' aren't winning war in Iraq
USA Today - 12-5-06
"No sir," Robert Gates, nominee to be the next Defense secretary, just told Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., at his confirmation hearing ...

Russia says no extradition for Litvinenko suspects
Reuters.uk, UK - 12-5-06
MOSCOW (Reuters) - Any Russian citizen suspected in the poisoning of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko will be tried in Russia, not Britain, Prosecutor ...


"The White House does not yet believe Iraq is in a civil war, though they did concede that a conflict has entered a new phase. And it rhymes with 'muster bluck.'" --Amy Poehler





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News


Rumsfeld Wins Gold Medal - But No One Knows Why




About three dozen people rallied outside Philadelphia's venerable Union League to protest the organization's decision to honor departing Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

Officials at the selective private club presented its Gold Medal to Rumsfeld at a black-tie affair on Friday night, but would not discuss the reason behind the award.



Don Rumsfeld revealed Sunday to have sent a secret memo to President Bush urging a change in Iraq. He was fired two days later. You know a president won't listen when the suggestion box at the White House has a guillotine mounted over it.- Argus Hamilton


Disturbing News



"Conservative columnist Dennis Prager this week blasted Minnesota Democrat Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, for his decision to take the oath of office with his hand on a Koran instead of a Bible. Like this guy did [on screen: Tom DeLay]. Or this guy [on screen: Mark Foley]. Or this guy [on screen: Richard Nixon]. All bibles." --Seth Myers


I'll Cry If I Want To


Former President George Bush, visiting Florida in his son's final days as governor, broke into tears of pride Monday when he recalled how Jeb Bush handled an unsuccessful gubernatorial bid in 1994.


Republican Shenanigans



"Former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Wednesday that it is time to face reality and recognize that Iraq is in a state of civil war. Powell made the statement after growing what are known as 'retirement balls.'" --Amy Poehler



By Don Davis



Biz/Tech News



Top 10 Bushisms of 2006



"She comes to me when she wants to be fed. And after I feed her -- guess what -- she's off to wherever she wants to be in the house, until the next time she gets hungry. She's smart enough to know she can't feed herself. She's actually a very smart cat. She gets loved. She gets adoration. She gets petted. She gets fed. And she doesn't have to do anything for it, which is why I say this cat's taught me more about women, than anything my whole life." --Talk show host Rush Limbaugh, on his cat




Bush-Prison-Torture News



"This is the time of the year everybody's getting ready for the holidays. Earlier today, Dick Cheney brought home a Christmas tree that he shot." --David Letterman


Go-F***-Yourself News





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Odd News



An artist's concept of the proposed Crew Exploration Vehicle (CEV) designed to carry astronauts to the Moon and Mars. NASA has announced plans to establish a permanently-occupied lunar base with manned missions starting in 2020, a key step in further human exploration of the solar system. (Photo/NASA)