Monday edition - December 4, 2006


Amid Hints Bush Will Change Policy, Clues He Won’t
New York Times - 12-3-06
By DAVID E. SANGER. WASHINGTON, Dec. 3 - The debate that will engulf Washington and much of the country this week centers on a question that lurks at the intersection of war strategy and the personality of ...

Annan: Iraq 'Much Worse' Than Civil War
CBS News - 12-3-06
(CBS/AP) The current situation in Iraq is "much worse" than civil war, the outgoing United Nations secretary-general said in an interview with the British Broadcasting Corp.

Shiite leader to meet Bush for talks on Iraq violence
International Herald Tribune - 12-3-06
AP. WASHINGTON: President George W. Bush meets with one of Iraq's most powerful Shiite politicians, Abdul-Aziz al-Hakim, on Monday for talks expected to focus on ways to reduce the violence in Iraq.


"President Bush met with the Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki. ... Afterwards President Bush said 'Maliki is the right man for the job.' Just to remind you, President Bush also said FEMA's Michael Brown was the right man for the job, Donald Rumsfeld, right man for the job, Tom DeLay was the right man for the job, which would be ok if Bush was the right man for the job." --Jay Leno





The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



Same Old Same Old


 Robert Gates, President Bush's choice to replace Donald H. Rumsfeld as defense secretary, may bring more of a change in style than substance to the Pentagon and the fractious debate over Iraq, judging from his statements and the assessment of associates.



Lame-duck jerky, anyone? -


Disturbing News




"President Bush now attempting to raise a half a billion dollars to fund the construction of the presidential library. This will be all of President Bush's important papers that will be out. In fact most of them are so important when he goes to the library, President Bush will be seeing these papers for the first time." --Jay Leno


Just Tell Us, Already!


New York - Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton solicited the support of New York's Democratic governor-elect Sunday for her likely White House bid, the latest indication she will join a growing field of potential contenders for 2008.



The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 270




Republican Shenanigans


By Don Davis




Uh Oh


Comedy Central has ordered "Lil' Bush: Resident of the United States," a cartoon satire that re-imagines President George W. Bush and key executives in his administration as elementary school misfits.

The title character is surrounded by close pals like Lil' Cheney, who grumbles unintelligibly, and Lil' Condi, who pines for Lil' Bush and does his homework for him.

"Bush" is not without its risque moments. When Lil' Bush's school serves falafel instead of hot dogs for lunch in one episode, he and his pals torture the cafeteria employees with methods made famous during the Abu Ghraib prison scandal.


“Well anyway, the United States now, listen to this, has banned the sale of iPods to North Korea. And you thought President Bush didn't have a plan.” - David Letterman


Rock-The-Voter News



Alaska Has Gas


President Bush is considering whether to lift the 17-year-old moratorium on energy drilling in the waters off southwestern Alaska, a White House spokeswoman said Sunday, which would allow oil and gas companies to try to tap into more than five trillion cubic feet of natural gas that lies beneath rich fishing grounds.






Even Rumsfeld goes sour on the war. Monkeys must be flying out of butts all over Washington.



Biz/Tech News


Oh, those Saudis!


Riyadh, Saudi Arabia — Saudi women still can't drive cars, but they can sell them. Potential buyers can go to an all-women showroom where, for the first time, other women will help them choose a car and answer questions about horsepower, carburetors and other automotive features.

Neither the saleswomen nor the female buyers can take the car out for a test drive because women are banned from driving in Saudi Arabia


Is a Senator wandering around office buildings clad only in his jammies?





Bush-Prison-Torture News



 “This year’s is Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, by the way, is a Norway spruce. It’s a Norway spruce, yeah. Experts say -- yeah. There you go, yeah. Experts say it's just one more example of Norwegian trees taking jobs away from American trees.”- Conan O’Brien


Go-F***-Yourself News




1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18 Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.




40% of American business owners say they're going to give their employees holiday bonuses instead of having a holiday party. Which means thousands of office workers will have to get drunk and go to Kinkos to Xerox their ass. - Conan O'Brien






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Odd News



Space Shuttle Discovery rolls to launch pad 39-b on November 9. NASA will launch the Discovery on December 7 on a 12-day mission as the US space agency presses on with construction of the International Space Station, officials said.  Photo/NASA