Monday edition - December 29, 2008




US offers Viagra to win over Afghan warlords: report
AFP - Dec 26, 2008
WASHINGTON (AFP) — CIA agents are offering the potency drug Viagra and other gifts to win over Afghan warlords in the US-led war against Taliban insurgents...


"Barack The Magic Negro" Prompts Jockeying Among RNC Hopefuls
CBS News, NY - 12-29-08
On Friday, the news broke that former Tennessee GOP leader Chip Saltsman, who ran Mike Huckabee's presidential campaign, had distributed a CD to Republican...

GMAC mum on whether it cleared bailout hurdle in time
Atlanta Journal Constitution -12-29-08
Grand Blanc, Mich. —- GMAC Financial Services, the financing arm of General Motors, may have jeopardized its access to billions in federal bailout money by missing an important deadline Friday night


"The White House staff has been briefing Barack Obama's team on a series of worst-case scenarios that could face the country after President Bush leaves office. That's the latest. Yeah. Apparently, the absolute worst case scenario is that Bush doesn't leave office." --Conan O'Brien


The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush


"The shoe-tossing guy in Iraq, you know, he wrote a letter to President Bush and he apologized. He said, 'Dear president Bush, I'm sorry I threw a shoe at you.' And I was thinking, wait a minute. When is President Bush going to apologize for invading Iraq?" --David Letterman


Uh Oh


Israel massed tanks near the Gaza Strip and authorized the call-up of 7,000 army reservists, raising speculation about a ground invasion of the coastal enclave as Palestinians fired on the Israeli city of Ashkelon.






Disturbing News

Blagojevich Update


Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn said on CBS' "Face the Nation" Sunday that he is certain scandal-plagued Gov. Rod Blagojevich will be out of office in less than two months.

Speaking from Chicago, Quinn said he believes the Illinois legislature will impeach Blagojevich by Abraham Lincoln's bicentennial birthday celebration Feb. 12.




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Republican-Shenanigans News


"Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said in an interview on '60 Minutes' on Sunday that, if the Constitution allowed it, he would like to run for president. Yeah. Yeah. There's a switch, a Republican being stopped by the Constitution, when does that ever happen?" --Jay Leno



Bush Hides Behind The Skirts


The two most influential women in President George W. Bush's White House — first lady Laura Bush and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice — are strongly defending the president's legacy against critics who are calling his administration one of the worst in history.

"I know it's not, and so I don't really feel like I need to respond to people that view it that way," Mrs. Bush said in an interview that aired Sunday. "I think history will judge and we'll see later."

Rice took a similar view in a separate interview, saying that claims that the Bush administration has been one of the worst ever are "ridiculous."

Rock-The-Voter News



Subject: Bob Boldt's Excellent Shoe -Throwing Note


Hi, Lisa... I liked the note you received from Bob Boldt about throwing shoes at Bush. The more I watched that video of the brave journalist letting Bush know how he and most of the planet feel about him, the funnier it became. Bush's jaw seems to wiggle a bit as he comes back up from his first duck and the look in his eyes is priceless. Still, the old fart managed to avoid getting it right in the kisser...unfortunately.


However, I don't want to see anybody arrested for throwing shoes at Bush, even after he leaves office. He's not worth it. I imagine he and Pickles will have Secret Service protection for the rest of their natural lives, assuming George manages to stay out of jail. If any of us should ever manage to actually see Bush in public, maybe it would be better to simply take off our shoes, stand as tall as we possibly can, and wave them in the air so Bush can't avoid seeing them. As dumb as he is, even he should still get the message. If we're accosted by his protectors for doing so, we simply have a good excuse ready. Or maybe it's still ok in post-Bush America to exercise the right to "air" our shoes at will!


Happy New Year!



Great idea Catherine. The way the economy is going not many Americans will have any shoes to throw.


Happy New Year to you too.



What kind of goofball drives a 6,000-pound Hummer with bumper stickers saying "Sarah 2012" and "Peace through greater firepower" and a "Choose Life" license plate? Any wonder Republicans lost so badly last month? - AHNC viewer




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Biz-Tech News


Legalize pot and inhale the tax revenue.- Zing!





U.S. Finally Greeted as Liberators, by Wall Street.

 - Don Davis, Satirical Political



Bush-Prison-Torture News



Cheney Voices Concern Biden Will Diminish the ‘Vice’ in Vice Presidency. - Don Davis, Satirical Political


Go-F**k-Yourself News




Subject: January donation


A little more for January, your fundraiser seems to have stalled a bit. As I said, I'm here for you and will do all I can to insure your continued web presence. Keep up the good work, the fight is just beginning. We have some tough times ahead. I hope America is up to the task.



Thank you so much for your thoughts and generosity.

Yes, my fundraiser has stalled and sadly it looks as though I won't get to hit Bush with all those shoes.

I only have 3 days left of this fundraiser...fingers crossed.

I hope you have a great day. Thank you.




Only 3 days left to hit Bush with all those shoes! Please help.


Please click here to kick a few bucks over to All Hat No Cattle


Please support All Hat No Cattle.  All Hat No Cattle has been servicing your humor needs since 2000


Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312



Email All Hat No Cattle





Odd News





A  photo released on December 29, 2008 by LG Electronics shows what is says is the world's first watch-shaped mobile video phone. Photo/LG Electronics