December 18,  2003 Thursday

Celebration aside, nothing has changed in Iraq
San Diego Union Tribune, CA - 12-18-03
It was sheer luck that news of Saddam Hussein's capture came on a Sunday, between church and football games, fitting right in with our weekly celebrations of virtue and violence.

It was the perfect time for President Bush to crow victory over this pitiful, bedraggled Third World dictator, who looked as if he were just dragged from the sewers of Victor Hugo's Paris...

UC Berkeley Sociologist Arlie Hochschild answers the question, "Why are 50% of Blue Collar White Males Planning to Vote for Bush in 2004, Even When He is Picking Their Pockets and Stealing the Futures of Their Children?" Buzzflash Interview 12-18-03 Blair's weapons claim sparks fresh 'spin' row
Guardian, UK - 12-18-03
... Mr Blair told the British Forces Broadcasting Service that the Iraq Survey Group had ... which initially broadcast allegations that Mr Blair had "sexed up" the WMD ...

A viewer gave me this idea for the above toon (see email below)

Congressman Wants to Ban Obscene Words from Radio/TV
WOAI, TX - 12-18-03
Congressman Lamar Smith (R-San Antonio) has introduced a bill that would specifically ban eight words and phrases from use in any context on radio or TV. ...

The list of words is included in the above

"Officials say that when they tried to interview Saddam Hussein he was smug, curt and often sarcastic. Later, Saddam apologized and said he was just doing his impression of Donald Rumsfeld." —Conan O'Brien

"They found several pairs of Saddam's boxer shorts in the hut and, by the way, that is the closest we have come to finding weapons of mass destruction." —David Letterman

More Republican Heroes

Ex-Illinois governor Ryan indicted
CNN - 12-17-03
... Ryan, 69, a Republican known worldwide as a leading critic of the ... focus of a corruption investigation that began even before his 1998 election as governor ...
       Former Governor Ryan Is Indicted in Illinois - Washington Post

Connecticut's Leader Says He Won't Quit
New York Times, NY - 12-18-03

In an appearance that mixed religious imagery, a reference to the capture of Saddam Hussein, admissions of personal frailties and his wife's barbed Christmas poem about his embattled status, Gov. John G. Rowland said on Wednesday that he would fight to keep his job...
 Give This Man a Booby Prize Westchester County Weekly

Geez, add these two to the "illustrious list" of other GOP heroes--Rush(drug addict), Bill Bennett(gambler), Dr. Laura(porn star), Linda Tripp(backstabbing friend) (have I forgotten anyone?) and it makes Democratic politicians look like angels.

Reagans Decry Decision on Hinckley Visits
Carlisle Sentinel, PA - 12-18-03
... US District Judge Paul L. Friedman said John Hinckley Jr. may have
six visits with his parents in the Washington area without staff ...


Subject: Hi

Hi is code word for elephant mail to come--

Lisa, I would love it if you would "photoshop" a big
red clown nose on your photo! As a professional
graphic designer working at a major ad agency (making
a six figure salary) you give any artform a bad name.


Your email address has the word spam in it.  How apropos.

My 12 year-old nephew could compose better photo
images than you. By the way, because of your hatred, I
am donating my generous tax-cut to Bush Cheney 2004.
Remember me in November 2004! I will be among millions
of "smirking chimps"!!! Good luck with

You have sent me about 100 emails.  I always knew republicans were sadists but you prove they are masochists too--why else would you keep visiting a website you despise?  Knock yourself out!   Hahahaha-thanks for the laughs and the hits!

BTW my bra size is

"I'm watching the clip of Saddam Hussein with the big beard and the whole thing and this might be a long shot in terms of theories are concerned — but is it possible that in the nine months he was on the run, he was actually studying to become a rabbi?" —Jon Stewart

I just love that show.

Subject: Bush as Saddam Cartoon

Listening to the BBC on Tuesday 12/16 at 5:00 AM, they described a cartoon that I have been trying unsuccessfully to find. I didn't know if you could point me in a direction. The cartoon was described as a George Bush head with a flashlight being shined in his mouth a la Saddam. The cartoon showed light being reflected OUT his ears, eyes and nose. SO right on SO many levels. Any clue who did it or where it can be seen online?

Doug V

Hope you enjoy the toon I did Doug.  Thanks for the inspiration.  I tried for about an hour to find the toon you described but no luck.


New year promises more drama in trials of corporate wrongdoing, MA - 12-18-03
... Martha Stewart, self-styled priestess of the gracious lifestyle, goes on trial
in January, accused of lying about why she dumped a small chunk of stock ...

Democrats Make Enron GOP's Albatross
Washington Post, DC - 12-18-03
... lets a speech go by without saying President Bush gave favorable tax treatment to
the likes of "Ken Lay and ... The very idea that people at the top of Enron ...

Click here to donate

If you can't donate, at least send me a Christmas Card!

All Hat No Cattle

PO Box 5237

Navarre, FL 32566


"A 78-year-old African American woman has come forward with proof that she is the daughter of the late Senator Strom Thurmond. She was the product of an affair young Strom Thurmond had with the family maid. Today, Rush Limbaugh said 'Why can't I get a maid like that?'" —Jay Leno


 Has anyone touched on the possibility that Strom Thurmond was guilty of "Statutory Rape"? Wonder what Ms Essie meant when she said that she didn't want to ruin Thurmond's career as a "Hypocrite Segregationist or a "Statutory Rapist"?/ 

Excerpt From Letter Reference:
She didn't want to hurt Strom Thurmond's career. That's why Essie Mae Washington-Williams says she kept silent until now about her claim that she is the one-time segregationist senator's mixed-race daughter, born out of wedlock.Williams says her mother became pregnant at age 16, while serving as a maid in the Thurmond household.
Statutory Rape
Statutory rape is illegal sexual activity between two people when it would otherwise be legal if not for their age.  The actual ages for these laws vary greatly from state-to-state, as do the punishments for offenders.  Many states do not use the actual term "statutory rape," simply calling it rape or unlawful sexual penetration.  These laws rarely apply only to intercourse, but rather to any type of sexual contact.  Dating someone without sexual contact cannot be considered a form of statutory rape, and is almost never illegal.


When did breaking the law ever stop a Republican?  Thanks for writing and all the info.  AHNC viewers are so smart!

Dear Lisa
Did you happen to see the Fox News staff celebrating the capture of Saddam Hussein with scenes of Iraqis firing guns in the background? All I could think about was that if the Fox staff had guns, they would have wiped out the News Purification Office right upstairs.


Hahahaha.  It is a scary thought that the Fox & Friends in the morning trio would be allowed to have guns.  Thanks for writing.  I'm laughing as I type this! Hahahaha

The emailer above better not be able to carry a weapon either!

Laura Bush's Annual Christmas Address

Click here for the article! It is so funny

Dateline- Frikkinhot, Arizona


In an exclusive interview granted to AHNC, Attorney General John Ashcroft has told this reporter that he is going to have his name changed to avoid the public stigma associated with being in trouble with a federal judge. Ashcroft stated, "me and that judge have never got along. I think that he is just jealous because I always get the attention." Ashcroft said, "I am going to have my name changed to Grand Inquisitor Torquemada. It really does have a nice ring to it, don't you think?" When asked about enraging the federal judge, Ashcroft made this comment, "gag orders, contempt of court citations, damn judges making laws, Constitution this and Constitution that, civil rights, and you know what? I have just about had it with the liberals. They are going to be the death of this wonderful country."

At this point, the Attorney General was starting to rave on and on and I had to back away slowly. Mr. Ashcroft had this odd half-smile on his face and his eyes glazed over. This is straight up Lisa, he was acting really creepy so, I figured it was just about time to end the interview. So, there you have it.

faithfully yours,
Don Nash
the Wild West Desk
Stickymud, Utah


Thanks for your report Don.  It's dangerous being a Democrat these days, eh?




Lightening, Prescott, AZ by Bob Witkowski