An inauguration bash during war time sure does bring honor and dignity back to the White House.
"The Army gives free breast implants to our female soldiers. We don't have enough armor for our troops, but we can give them breast implants. I say we make the implants out of kevlar so then they can be out on the front lines" -- Jay Leno
Graphic By Ken
Bin Laden condemns Saudi regime on tape Ireland Online
'Hillbilly Armor' Newsweek
"People see the figure of 1,200 dead. Much more rarely do they see the number of seriously wounded. And almost never do they hear anything at all about the psychiatric casualties." -- DR. EVAN KANTER, a psychiatrist at a veterans' hospital in Seattle.
"'His Hair is No Longer Gray.' ... Good one, huh?" -- President Bush to People magazine, on what he hopes the headline will be a year from now
$85 million U.S. missile test goes nowhere Detroit Free Press
Study links blood pressure drugs to heart disease USATODAY.com
"The trade deficit
swelled to an all time high of $55.5 billion. Do you know what our number one
export is now? National Guard troops."
-- Jay Leno
Bush Lambasts Costly Lawsuits CBS News
Ex-Rep. Tauzin to be lobbyist for drug firms Seattle Post Intelligencer
"What you have today is business on one side, and you've got the trial lawyers on the other side. ... You've got deep pockets colliding with shallow principles." -- Robert Nardelli, the chief executive at Home Depot, said to laughter from the audience and President Bush
Dems gain in 'hidden election' USATODAY.com
"The Bernard Kerik scandal is getting worse and worse. Since Kerik withdrew from his Homeland Security Director nomination, it has been revealed that he has had a secret marriage, two mistresses and worked for a Mafia-related company. As a result Kerik has been given a role on 'Desperate House Wives.' " -- Conan O'Brien
Corruption, lying, torture, spin and bullsh*t are the orders of the day. Day after day. Headline after headline. News anchor after news anchor.
Yet “The American People” are content to stand by helplessly without a murmur of protest as their country becomes as despised worldwide as any since 1939-45.
“To make these awards in the face of failure -- the mounting American death toll, the awful suffering of the Iraqis, the looming possibility of civil war, the nose-thumbing of the still-at-large Osama bin Laden and the madness of making war for a nonexistent reason -- has the creepy feel of the old communist states, where incompetents wore medals and harsh facts were denied.” – Richard Cohen, Washington Post Columnist
How to Pick a Credit Card The Motley Fool
Baseball Rejects Council's Changes In Financing Plan for D.C. Stadium washingtonpost.com
Economists question White House summit's assessment Seattle Times
Sprint buys Nextel for $35 billion Computer Business Review
Here's what you will -- and won't -- be able to see when searching ... Detroit Free Press
On this day, in 1773, the Boston Tea Party took place as American colonists boarded a British ship and dumped more than 300 chests of tea overboard to protest tea taxes.
130 troops punished or charged in abuse Boston Globe, MA
"This guy in office is an uneducated, real lying schmuck . . . and we still couldn't beat him with a bore like Kerry." – Chevy Chase
Graphic By Patricia Gerber -- San Francisco
The 23rd Sigh
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego's
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find
no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.
“They say young single men in Japan are now buying a new kind of pillow that comes in the shape of a woman's legs because it reminds them of lying in their mother's lap when they were younger. I believe the name of this product is 'You're Creeping Me Out.' " – Jay Leno
'O.C.' fans are invited for 'Chrismukkah' USATODAY.com
Rusty Keaulana of Hawaii rides a large wave in the first heat of the Eddie Aikau Invitational on Waimea Bay in Hawaii on Dec. 15, 2004. ' The Eddie' is a one-day event held when waves are 30 feet or higher. (Photo/Ronen Zilberman)