Thursday edition - November 4, 2010




Obama must "move in our direction": McConnell
U.S. Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, defending remarks that Barack Obama should be a one-term president, will say on Thursday his party's goals can be accomplished only when an ally is in the White House.

Religious schools, government money? Supreme Court hears Arizona case.
A US Supreme Court case challenging Arizona’s religious school funding program evolved into a debate over whether money from a tax credit is still the government’s money even after it has been channeled by taxpayers into a private program.

Election doesn't end major discord for GOP, Obama
WASHINGTON – Barely an hour after President Barack Obama invited congressional Republicans to post-election talks to work together on major issues, the Senate's GOP leader had a blunt message: His party's main goal is denying Obama re-election.


"I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are for Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection -- either way we're getting screwed!" -- Bette Midler




The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


Let The Investigations Begin!


The Virginia congressman expected to be the next House majority leader says Republican-led committees will devote more time investigating and exposing lapses by the Obama administration and problems with its programs, including bringing critical oversight reports to the House floor for very public debates.




Disturbing News


"John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation." –Stephen Colbert



Republican-Shenanigans News




Baked Alaskans


Republican Sen. Lisa Murkowski stoked her ongoing feud with fellow Alaskan Sarah Palin on Thursday when Murkowski explained on national television why she would never support Palin for president.

"I'm looking for somebody that has a breadth of experience not only in government but truly a more worldly approach," Murkowski said on NBC's "Today" show. "And I don't think that Sarah Palin has it."



"John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. It is the highest elected office ever to be reached by an Orange-American." –Daily Show correspondent Olivia Munn


Rock-The-Voter News


"Russ Feingold was defeated for having progressive values. In Louisiana, David Vitter has absolutely destroyed his challenger by going out with hookers." – Jon Stewart, on America's priorities


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Biz-Tech News


"Welcome to where rumor undergoes a fact-change operation and becomes analysis." – Stephen Colbert, on his new election center



Bush-Prison-Torture News


China started conducting its nationwide census this week. That’s right, parents will be required to list each child’s age, grade, and occupation. - Jimmy Fallon


Go-F**k-Yourself News


Thousands of marijuana enthusiasts went to the polls this morning in California to support Prop 19. Unfortunately, the election was the day before. - Jimmy Kimmel






Subject: Donation


Lisa, Hope this helps keep you online. Need your humor in these insane times. -Tim


I didn't bother opening my email until a few moments before posting today's edition. I was afraid if seeing no donations again and was so happy to see your donation. You made my day.




I hope you had a good time today.


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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo


The cruise ship MS Allure of the Seas passes under the Store Belt Bridge, with only 1.5 m (five feet) of space to spare, at low tide October 30, 2010. The bridge connects the islands of Fuenen and Zealand. The Finnish-built vessel is heading to its home port in Florida, U.S. Photo/Scanpix/Jens Norgaard Larsen




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