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Monday edition - November 24, 2008
Palin to hold interview at Wasilla Sausage Factory - Grant Gerver
This
weekend, the big auto show opens here in Los Angeles. It’s $10 to get in, $25
billion to get out. - Jay Leno The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush
Money Is The International Language
The last time I met Saif Abdallah, in the winter of 2006, he was proud to have helped kill dozens, possibly hundreds of American soldiers. Then 28, he was a geeky electronics engineer who made trigger devices for roadside bombs known as IEDs — the No. 1 cause of U.S. troop casualties. I remember the relish he took in listing his clients, most of them Iraqi Sunni insurgent groups, whom he saw as fellow-patriots, trying to drive out the American occupier. He had also devised triggers for al-Qaeda. "They pay me," he said, with a shrug. "Anybody who wants to kill American soldiers, if they pay me, I work for them." Guess who pays him now? The American taxpayer.
What Would
The Press Do Without Clinton Rumors? (Limerick)
Disturbing News
International maritime officials say 39 ships have been hijacked by pirates this year on the high seas. See, luckily, we don’t have pirates in America that rob and plunder. We just have CEOs.- Jay Leno
More Bush Destruction
Republicans and
Republican-leaning independents are most interested in seeing Sarah Palin, Mitt
Romney, and Mike Huckabee run for the party’s presidential nomination in 2012.
Those three received the highest scores among the 10 possible candidates
evaluated in a recent Gallup Panel survey...And which potential candidates would
the party faithful least like to see on the ballot? The least popular by far was
Jeb Bush — 61 percent said they would NOT want to see him run,
a pretty strong indication of how badly burned the party feels by all things
Bush. The second least popular was Newt Gingrich — 48 percent would not like
to see him run.
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Republican-Shenanigans News
The
auto executives for the Big Three are being criticized now, because, before they
asked Congress for billions of dollars, they all flew to Washington in private
jets. Yeah, separately, in private jets. In their defense, the executives said,
“We would have driven, but our cars only get three miles to the gallon.” -
Conan O'Brien
He's Baaaaaack
Earlier this month, a guest
took the pulpit at Open Bible Fellowship in Morrison, Ill., a 350-member church
surrounded by cornfields. The speaker was an insurance salesman from Colorado
named Ted Haggard.
Rock-The-Democrat News
"Executives of General Motors, Ford and Chrysler testified on Capitol Hill, trying to get a $25 billion loan. President Bush was against the loan until Dick Cheney whispered in his ear, 'Cars use oil.'" --Jay Leno
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Biz-Tech News
Congress demanded a business plan from the three automakers before they'd even consider giving them taxpayer money. A business plan? How come we didn't get to see a business plan before Congress gave away 750 billion of our dollars?" --Jay Leno
Pirate Problems
Shipping officials from around the world called for a military blockade Monday along the coast of Somalia to intercept pirate vessels heading out to sea.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"But there are some nice aspects during the transition period. For example, the Bush twins gave the Obama girls a tour of the White House. It was very sweet, but the Obama girls got really scared because they heard creepy organ music coming from Cheney's underground lair." --David Letterman
Go-F**k-Yourself News
Comments From Viewers
Lisa, _________________________
Lisa, Sorry it isn't more but I'm retired on SS -- which gives me more time for your site. Only visiting a couple of weeks. Love it!
Linda from WA
Thank you so much Stephen and Linda! Every donation is generous!
THE LAST FUNDRAISER OF 2008
Almost halfway there!!!
Duct tape use #19,246
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Happy Thanksgiving All!
The next edition of All Hat No Cattle will be on Monday, December 1, 2008
Odd News
Volunteers
make kimchi, traditional pungent vegetable, to donate to needy neighbors for
winter preparation in front of the Seoul City Hall Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008.
About 2,200 housewives made 130 tons (117 metric tons) of kimchi. Made with
cabbage, other vegetables and chili sauce, kimchi is the most popular
traditional food in Korea.
I hope you have a peaceful holiday!.
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