TGIF/Weekend edition - November 13-15, 2009




RNC nixes abortion coverage for its employees
USA Today - ‎11-13-09
The Republican National Committee will no longer offer employees an insurance plan that covers abortion...


Levi Johnston's Manager: Playgirl Shoot "Was Fantastic!"
Us Magazine - 11-13-09
Forget Lady Gaga's "Disco Stick." Levi Johnston's wielded a hockey stick in his much-anticipated Playgirl photo shoot Thursday, his manager confirms to

John King to take over Dobbs's slot at CNN
Washington Post - Howard Kurtz - ‎Nov 12, 2009‎
CNN announced Thursday that John King, the Sunday morning host best known for his magic wall, is taking over the 7 pm slot left vacant by


"It's been reported that outspoken anti-immigration anchor Lou Dobbs is leaving CNN. Yeah. True story, yeah. He'll be replaced by a guy named Juan, who will do the same job for $5 an hour." –Conan O'Brien



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


"Three young Americans have been charged with espionage in Iran after straying into the country while hiking in Iraq. Now, obviously, we all pray for their safe return. But hiking in Iraq? I mean — you know, if you're hiking in Iraq and Iran, you might want to get a you new travel agent. Okay?" –Jay Leno



CIA versus Valerie Plame Wilson


A former CIA agent whose unmasking led to the conviction of former Vice President Dick Cheney's top aide lost an appeal on Thursday to declassify parts of her memoir.





Disturbing News


"CBS News is reporting that President Obama has decided to send 40,000 more troops to Afghanistan. Obama says it's all part of his plan to finally deliver on the campaign promises made by John McCain" –Jimmy Fallon



The One FOX News 'Tea Party Distortion' Missed by The Daily Show

By Don Davis



"Congressman John Boehner told a crowd of protesters yesterday that the new health care bill was the 'greatest threat to freedom he's ever seen.' And then the Taliban was like, 'Uh, helloooo? What?!'" –Jimmy Fallon


Republican-Shenanigans News


"The other day in Wisconsin, Sarah Palin gave a speech, and the crowd was searched to make sure there were no cameras. That's right. Yeah, according to experts, Palin subscribes to the primitive belief that cameras will 'steal her crazy.'" –Conan O'Brien


Secret bin Laden Tape Reveals Al Qaeda Strategy to Infiltrate U.S. Military

By Don Davis





"Former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, got into trouble for making a sex tape. She’s the only one in the tape. But I think this could be innocent too — last time for the racy photos, she said the wind blew her vest open . . . so maybe the wind blew her into some sexy positions and made her do some sexy gestures." –Craig Ferguson


Rock-The-Voter News


"Remember the Congressman, William Jefferson, who the F.B.I. caught with $90,000 in bribe money in his freezer? Well, he was convicted of 11 counts of bribery and corruption. Prosecutors asked for the harshest prison sentence ever handed down for a member of Congress. Something like 30 years. The Congressman is saying — he said he still did nothing wrong. He claims he just fell in with the wrong crowd — Congress." –Jay Leno



Carrie Prejean is in the news again. She’s the beauty pageant contestant who spoke out against gay marriage. She’s a very family-values-oriented woman who, in her spare time, made a pornographic video tape. She says it is not a sex tape because she’s the only one in it. It’s s solo sex tape. It’s the first female solo sex tape . . . she flies solo. She’s like the Amelia Earhart of the naked. She's trying to downplay the incident. In pageant terms, it was a swim-suit competition minus the swim suit but with a lot of baton twirling." –Jimmy Kimmel


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Biz-Tech News


"NASA's been on a campaign to ease people's fears about the end of the world in 2012. Does anybody really think this is going to happen? No, this true. NASA announced that the movie '2012' is fiction and the Mayan calendar is wrong. And there is no mystery planet headed towards Earth that's gonna destroy it. People believe this stuff. They say the only thing that can really destroy the planet by 2012 would be, I guess, Countrywide Mortgage, AIG, and Wall Street." –Jay Leno




Bush-Prison-Torture News


"Google has announced that they’re going to give free Internet access in airports all across the country. It’s fantastic! Up until now, the only way to see something pornographic at an airport was to follow a senator into the bathroom." –Craig Ferguson



Go-F**k-Yourself News


"The Berlin Wall fell 20 years ago, very famous. That's where Dick Cheney delivered his famous line, 'Ich bin ein water boarder.'" –David Letterman




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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



In this Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009 photo, wrecker driver Gilbert Harrison, with MCH Towing, attaches a towing cable to a Bugatti Veyron that was driven into the water near Omega Bay in La Marque, Texas. A man blamed a low-flying pelican and a dropped cell phone for his veering his million-dollar sports car off a road and into a salt marsh near Galveston. Photo/The Galveston County Daily News, Chris Paschenko




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