Thursday edition - October 5, 2006




$20 million Iraq victory party
Chicago Sun-Times, United States -10-5-06
The military's top generals have warned Iraq is on the cusp of a civil war and that U.S. troops must remain in large numbers until at least next spring.
But if the winds suddenly blow a different direction, Congress is ready to celebrate with a $20 million victory party...

NATO assumes command of troops in Afghanistan, Ireland -10-5-06
NATO is set to assume command of US-led troops throughout Afghanistan today, completing its expansion into the east of the country.

Court Temporarily OKs Domestic Spying
CBS News, New York - 10-5-06
... continue its warrantless surveillance program while it appeals a judge's ruling that the program is unconstitutional, a federal appeals court ruled Wednesday. ...


The funniest phrase I have heard describing the Mark Foley scandal  is "Cocktober Surprise" from



“Well, if you're into politics, what a big weekend this was. You could have seen Pakistan's President Musharraf on ‘Meet the Press,’ Senator Joe Biden on ‘Face the Nation,’ and Congressman Mark Foley on ‘Dateline: To Catch a Predator.’” -- Jay Leno



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



10 Years of Unchecked Behavior


An Atlanta man told a local television station and newspaper that former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley  sent him sexually suggestive messages after he served as a congressional page 10 years ago..."I'm very disappointed in myself for not having the courage to do it back in 96-97. I was hoping and praying it was an isolated incident — myself, maybe one or two others. Now it seems this has been progressive manipulative and wide-ranging abuse of adult authority on Mark's part and it's affected more people than I ever hoped it would."






Don't Mess With Texas Students


A speech by William Kristol, former chief of staff for former vice president Dan Quayle and editor of The Weekly Standard magazine, turned hostile Tuesday when students began hurling insults at Kristol, alleging his and the U.S. government's complicity in the Sept. 11 attacks.



The F.B.I. says they have reason to believe that the mob and Al Qaeda may be doing business with one another. They've spotted Sammy The Bull meeting with Ahkmed The Goat. - Jay Leno


Disturbing News



Google and Politics


Imagine being able to check instantly whether or not statements made by politicians were correct. That is the sort of service Google Inc. boss Eric Schmidt believes the Internet will offer within five years.

Politicians have yet to appreciate the impact of the online world,
which will also affect the outcome of elections, Schmidt said in an interview with the Financial Times published on Wednesday.



Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice flew to Saudi Arabia Monday where she met with the foreign minister and the king as well as the oil minister. It was no surprise at all to see her there. Condi Rice is welcome at all Bush family reunions. - Argus Hamilton, comedian


Republican Shenanigans


Time Warner Censorship?


Is Time Warner getting into the censorship business? A host of Showtime at the Apollo claims he got the hook for angering top brass at the media mega conglomerate with jokes about President George W. Bush..."I talked about his little drunk daughters, Gin and Juice," he says, referring to Jenna and Barbara Bush. "I talked about his mother, who looks like the man on the oatmeal box."






"Today President Bush is on a trip to California, but he and Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger went out of their way to avoid each other. Experts say this is bad news for the Republican Party, but great news for the English language." --Conan O'Brien


Rock-The-Voter News


Net Surfing, Interior Dept Style


In one week, several Interior Department workers spent more than 30 minutes on sexually explicit Web sites...the department since 1999 took just 177 disciplinary actions for inappropriate Internet use. Of those, 112 were for accessing pornographic or sexually explicit Web sites.

His report is titled "Excessive Indulgences," and its cover features a photo montage, including a shot of a woman's bare stomach, to illustrate the types of Web sites employees visited.




"(Foley's) in rehab, which means it only happened because he was drinking. We've all done it folks -- drunk dialing. It's just that in Foley's case, it was drunk texting erotic messages to underage pages about masturbation." --Stephen Colbert



Biz/Tech News


Wally World


Wal-Mart, the nation’s largest employer, is planning to launch a voter registration and education campaign this fall targeted at its 1.3 million employees in an effort to combat growing criticism from Democrats and labor unions.

By doing so, the world’s largest retailer is striding into the national political arena, which until this election cycle it has taken pains to avoid.



“The US Army is now investigating -- I love this story -- whether women in a Kentucky National Guard unit, who are now in Iraq, posed for naked photos with their M-16 and American decal flag decals covering their breasts. Military officials say if these pictures are found, that it is true and they did pose naked, the pictures will immediately be sent to recruitment centers nationwide.” - Jay Leno



Bush-Prison-Torture News


Drip, Drip Drip Before The Tsunami Strikes


House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert today announced the official Page tip line number. Following is his statement:
"As the Speaker I take responsibility for everything in the building. The buck stops here. The safety and security of the students in the Page program is imperative...
The Page program tip line is 866-348-0481."



"I don't know how long Foley will be in rehab, but I'm pretty sure they don't want him home answering the door on Halloween." --Jay Leno


Go-F***-Yourself News


Hiding Out


House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., stayed out of sight as calls continued for him to resign and a congressional aide said Hastert's office was warned more than three years ago about potential problems...On Wednesday, guards in sport utility vehicles kept reporters from the front door of Hastert's large home in Plano, west of Chicago.


Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.  -- P. J. ORourke



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Odd News




Head-to-toe houndstooth : A model presents a creation by French designer Jean Paul Gaultier during the Spring/Summer 2007 ready-to-wear collections in Paris. Where in the world would a woman wear this outfit? And do fashion designers secretly want to make women look foolish?  (Photo/Francois Guillot)