Thursday edition - October 30, 2008




McCain Funded Work Of Palestinian His Campaign Hopes To Tie To Obama
Huffington Post- 10-28-08

The latest guilt-by-association target that the McCain campaign is using to hit Barack Obama could carry some collateral damage for its own candidate.


Auditors: Private security in Iraq cost over $6B
International Herald Tribune, France - 10-30-08
AP WASHINGTON: No one knows for sure, but auditors think the United States has paid well over $6 billion to private security companies who have been

Afghanistan troop buildup could more than double
The Associated Press - 10-29-08
WASHINGTON (AP) — Military planners now think they may need to send more than double the number of extra troops initially believed needed to help fight the


"According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, Americans drove 15 billion fewer miles in August than they did the year before. To which President Bush said, 'See, that's one of the advantages of not having a job to go to.'" --Jay Leno

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

U.N. Pays $888.6 million to ?


The U.N. panel overseeing compensation for victims of Iraq's 1990 invasion of Kuwait said Wednesday it has paid a $888.6 million (709.4 million euros) installment from Iraqi oil funds to cover losses and damages suffered by governments and private companies.

The U.N. Compensation Commission said the money will go to 13 claimants in Kuwait, two in Saudi Arabia and one in the U.S.

The panel did not disclose the identities of the claimants, but said that all were government bodies — except for the U.S. claimant, a private company that will receive about $162.6 million (129.8 million euros).


Disturbing News


"You know what, justice system? Do your worst to Ted Stevens. Throw the book at him. Sentence him to solitary. Nothing is going to break this man! Because he knows that he has what it takes to be pardoned by President Bush. But, listen, Senator Stevens, if you do end up in prison, try sneaking out through the internet. After all, it really is just a series of tubes." --Stephen Colbert


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Republican-Shenanigans News


Alaska Senator Ted Stevens has been convicted on seven counts of fraud and corruption, but Republicans are relieved because at least the story didn’t involve an airport men’s room.- David Letterman





Joe The Plumber Becomes Joe The Country Singer - Only In America!


Move over, Sanjaya, and tell William Hung the news: Joe the Plumber is being pursued for a major record deal and could come out with a country album as early as Inauguration Day.

“Joe” — aka Samuel Wurzelbacher, a Holland, Ohio, pipe-and-toilet man — just signed with a Nashville public relations and management firm to handle interview requests and media appearances, as well as create new career opportunities, including a shift out of the plumbing trade into stage and studio performances.


Alaskan authorities were tipped off to Sen. Steven’s activities by Russians who’d been watching with binoculars. - David Letterman




A McCain campaign volunteer accused of making up a story about being robbed and assaulted in Pittsburgh by a man who disliked her McCain bumper sticker will enter a program for first-time offenders.

Under the deal announced in court Thursday, 20-year-old Ashley Todd will be released from jail and required to undergo mental health treatment.


Rock-The-Voter News



St. Sarah The Scapegoat?


John McCain's campaign is looking for a scapegoat. It is looking for someone to blame if McCain loses on Tuesday.

And it has decided on Sarah Palin.


"Let's begin tonight with a brand new segment. This is exciting. Are you in prison? Has your cell mate recently been paroled or been the victim of a library shanking? If so, listen. It's time to meet your new cell mate. Is the anticipation killing you? Is killing a sensitive topic? Your new cell mate is this guy, 84-year-old Alaska Senator Ted Stevens! The Senate's longest-serving Republican, the earl of earmarks, nanook of the pork, the Alaskan king crab, and, as of last night, a convicted felon. To save you, his new roommate, the time of an introduction, hey, man, what are you in for? [on screen: description of Stevens' crimes]. That's hardcore, dude. I ate my mailman. Which bunk do you want?" --Jon Stewart


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Biz-Tech News


 On this date in 1929, the stock market plunged 13%. Boy, those were the good old days, huh?- David Letterman



More Ethics Complaints About St. Sarah of the Tundra


 A new ethics complaint has been filed against Sarah Palin, accusing the Alaska governor of abusing her power by charging the state when her children traveled with her.

The complaint alleges that the Republican vice presidential nominee used her official position as governor for personal gain, violating a statute of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act. It follows a report by The Associated Press last week that Palin charged the state more than $21,000 for her three daughters' commercial flights, including events where they weren't invited, and later ordered their expense forms amended to specify official state business.


“And the longest serving Republican senator, Alaska’s Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. … Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house,” but “here’s the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the plumber.” - Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News




"In Pontiac, Michigan, five bodies and the cremated remains of 22 others have been evicted from a funeral home. Evicted! That's when you know the real estate market's bad, when you're dead and they still foreclose on you." --Jay Leno


Go-F**k-Yourself News


A drag queen dressed as Republican vice presidential nominee Alaska Governor Sarah Palin runs down the street after the High Heel Drag Race near Dupont Circle in Washington October 28, 2008.
Photo/Molly Riley



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Odd News



Finger lickin' good.

Chocolate corset : Designer Anita Jakobson displays a creation made from chocolate at the 14th Chocolate fair (Salon du Chocolat) in Paris.
Photo/Alix Guigon