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Thursday
edition - October 23, 2008
"Sarah
Palin had a good thought. She suggested that while Barack Obama is over in
Hawaii, it might be a good idea for him to keep an eye on Japan." --Jimmy
Kimmel
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Pakistan Is Being Quite Patient
A suspected
US air strike
killed nine people at a religious school in north-west Pakistan,
intelligence officials said today.
Disturbing News
Banning A Logo?
Mongols can no
longer wear patches bearing the motorcycle gang's insignia following what
appears to be an unprecedented court order stripping them of their trademarked
logo....It
is believed to be the first case in the nation in which the government has
sought to take control of a gang's identity — via its logo — through a court
order.
Email
Subject: Palin and the kids
Lisa,
Although I'm firmly for the Obama ticket it does sadden me that Palin is being
attacked for taking her kids with her on trips. I give her props for her
commitment to her family, and yes if one is elected I believe you should be able
to lead with your kids. We are not the most progressive country on practical
family rights, only on conservative christian family rights. This does need to
change. I sure as heck don't want her as V.P. but I'll give her all the credit
in the world for looking after her kids.
-Pat
Thanks for writing Pat. I
also have no problem with the children of Gov. Palin traveling with their Mom
for whatever reason. I believe kids need their Mom even if she is a governor. I
have a problem when Gov Palin changes government documents and lies about the
role of her children in the very same month she is chosen to be McCain's running
mate.
AP article snip:
The
AP also reported that Palin ordered
the children's travel expense forms changed in August to add language claiming
that they performed official state business on the trips.
Alaska law allows
governors to charge the state for their family's travel if they conduct state
business. State Finance Director Kim Garnero said the governor's staff has the
authority to make that determination.
But event organizers told the AP they were surprised when the girls showed
up, and some said they had no role.
My, my, my she's caught
in another lie.
Isn't this a more
important news story than the GOP spending $150K on field dressing Sarah Palin?
Ads by Google
Republican-Shenanigans News
Republican Racists
Two weeks before an
election that could install the first black U.S. president,
scattered ugly incidents have reflected a deep residue of racism among some
segments of white America.
"People
are saying that John McCain does not have a prayer. But I'm pretty sure the Lord
is with him. Mostly because they used to be college roommates." — Stephen
Colbert
Rock-The-Voter News
"Nov. 4 is
two weeks from today, but 7 percent of people are still undecided. I just don’t
know how anyone could be undecided, because the choice in this election’s black
and white, literally! Young black guy, old white guy. There! Take your pick." --Craig
Ferguson
"You can't
be a maverick when you've been a sidekick for the past eight years." - Sen.
Bob Casey
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
Billions Given To Banks,
Foreclosures Increase
The number of homeowners
ensnared in the foreclosure crisis grew by more than 70 percent in the third
quarter of this year compared with the same period in 2007, according to data
released Thursday.
Nationwide,
nearly 766,000 homes received at least one foreclosure-related notice from
July through September, up 71 percent from a year earlier, said foreclosure
listing service RealtyTrac Inc.
"I've done
nine presidential campaigns and this is the first time this has ever happened to
me. " -- Joe Klein, quoted by
Politico, on being banned from Sen. John McCain's campaign plane
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Pirate Update
NAIROBI, Kenya – Food
and water are running low on the Ukrainian arms ship hijacked by Somali pirates,
and a pirate spokesman warned Thursday if the ship was attacked by NATO forces
its 20-man crew would be among those killed.
Spokesman Sugule Ali also mocked comments by Tomex Team, the firm operating the
MV Faina cargo ship, which said it has accumulated only $1 million toward the
$20 million ransom the pirates initially demanded.
"That is worthless," he said. "It would only pay for several
nights' stay in a hotel!"
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The
chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! All
the chickens are ready for change! Even the road is ready for
change.
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in dialogue with the chickens on the other
side of the road. The chicken has prepared his whole life to
take on the job of crossing this road. Unfortunately he has
waited until he is very old, and has selected an unqualified hen
to take over for him in case he doesn't make it.
SARAH PALIN: I
am not going to answer the question the way reporters might like
to hear it -- but how I know Joe Sixpack and hockey moms want to
hear it. What's important is that we don't look backward to
where the chicken has been, but look forward. We need to view
the chicken as a maverick who has a bold plan for crossing that
road -- a road that I can see from my house, so this gives me
real experience to answer this question.
JOE BIDEN:
:The chicken crossed the road to get to the other
side. I hope by giving the correct answer, this is not seen as
a putdown of Sarah Palin's intelligence or that of her
followers.
HILLARY CLINTON: As
First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken cross the
road. But this really isn't about me: Although my experience
makes me uniquely qualified to ensure that every chicken in
this country gets the chance it deserves to cross that road in
their lifetime.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
The chicken crossed the road for freedom. Every chicken must
make a decision whether he is really with us or with the
terrorists. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: As I explained at the UN, the chicken was
part of our intelligence to locate weapons of mass destruction
on the other side of the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross a road with that
chicken. (pause) What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: The chicken crossed the road on the internet,
which I invented.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it!
DR. PHIL: This
chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the
other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize
how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems
before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a
special gift -- a new car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is
a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
the other side of the road to talk to it and ask the question.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see
it in his beady eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
The chicken
crossed the road looking for illegal immigrants on the other
side of the road, to make sure it was not stealing the job of a
decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer' s
Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL: The
chicken crossed the road because it is gay! Can't you people see
the plain truth? That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. . I say we boycott all chickens
until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other
side.That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens of the world
crossing the road together, in peace!
BILL GATES: I
have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will
never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road,
or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Darn - I missed one.
DICK CHENEY:
I got it! |
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Go-F**k-Yourself News
Thank you, Jay!
I hope you had a good time today.
Please
help keep All Hat No Cattle online
Offline
Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL
36312
Email All Hat No Cattle
Odd News
In this photo
released by the Florida Keys News Bureau, a six-toed cat named 'Hairy Truman,'
walks on a table Thursday, Sept. 25, 2008 in Ernest Hemingway's one-time study
at the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum in Key West, Fla. Hemingway Home
officials announced that the United States Department of Agriculture had granted
the museum an Animal Welfare License to permit legal exhibition of about 50
resident cats. The license culminates an almost five-year dispute between the
USDA and the museum that might have resulted in the loss or caging of the famous
felines, many that have six toes and descended from a cat given to Hemingway in
1935.
Photo/Florida Keys News Bureau, Rob O'Neal
Peace.
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