According to USA Today, car theft is at a 20-year low. Well, that shows you how bad the auto business is. People don’t even want to steal them now.- Jay Leno

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Iraq war at 4350 The Associated Press

• US military deaths in Afghanistan region at 799 Washington Post

• Roadside bomb kills US soldier in northern Iraq

• Police: Car bomb, bus blast kill 5 in Iraq

• Battle intensifies as Taliban retake Pakistani town

• Runner-up in Afghan election seeks interim gov't

• Obama meets with Iraqi PM, honors vets, visits NYC

• U.S. to end war on medical marijuana in legal states

War On Drugs

A U.S. warship has seized about four tons of hashish being transported aboard a boat off the Horn of Africa.

As you know, the whole balloon boy thing turned out to be a big hoax. Usually when there’s a hoax involving a balloon, it’s some kind of Countrywide Mortgage scam.- Jay Leno

Posse Comitatus

 An Army investigation found that soldiers should not have been sent to man traffic stops in a small Alabama town after 11 people were killed in March during a shooting spree...The report from the Department of Army Inspector General found the use of military personnel in Samson violated the Posse Comitatus Act, which prohibits federal troops from performing law enforcement actions. The names of those involved were redacted from the report.
 

Disturbing News

• 8 South Asian nations resist binding emission cuts

"Yesterday in Louisiana, a judge denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he felt, I quote, their children would later suffer in life from being interracial. Like when they become president or win the Masters or get an Oscar." --Jay Leno
 

Shooting Firing the Messengers

 The New York Times said on Monday it would cut 100 newsroom jobs through buyouts or layoffs as it tries to counter lost advertising revenue....This is the second time in little more than a year that the Times has sought to reduce its newsroom staff. In 2008, the newspaper cut 100 newsroom jobs.

Earlier this year, it cut salaries by 5 percent.
 

Republican-Shenanigans News

• SC Republican chairmen apologize for Jewish remark AP

• Sanford impeachment resolution likely next week CNN Political Ticker

• SC gov's wife is done talking about marriage rift The Associated Press

• Elisabeth Hasselbeck, back on 'The View,' reveals her accidental adventure in sex-ting NYDailyNews

"A new survey found that the average man cries about six times a year. That number would be a lot lower if it weren’t for Glenn Beck." --Jimmy Fallon
 

Rock-The-Voter News

• Revised formula puts 1 in 6 Americans in poverty

• Poll: 57 percent of Americans back gov't health insurance plan

• Biden's son says he's inclined to make Senate run

Rick Perry Continues To Mess With Texas

Questions about whether Gov. Rick Perry allowed the execution of a man some arson experts say may have been innocent, and then hindered an investigation into the evidence, continue to reverberate across Texas, where issues surrounding capital punishment have rarely stirred such controversy.

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Biz-Tech News

• Oil briefly above $80 as earnings beat forecasts

• Toyota pushes into SKorea, home turf of Hyundai

• Government unveils new mortgage help for states

• Dodd offers protection from bank overdraft fees

• Tech lets people intern from the sofa

• Apple smashes forecasts, stock hits record

"The Dow hit 10,000 this week, everybody! For the first time since the market collapse. And people were so excited, they took to the streets to celebrate, which is easy because so many of them live there." --Bill Maher
 

Is This "Newspeak"?

Even with an economic revival, many U.S. jobs lost during the recession may be gone forever and a weak employment market could linger for years.

That could add up to a "new normal" of higher joblessness and lower standards of living for many Americans, some economists are suggesting.
 

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Michael B. Mukasey: Civilian Courts Are No Place to Try Terrorists Wall Street Journal

"The Dow Jones on Thursday rose past the 10,000 mark for first time in over a year. 'Hooray!' shouted 15 million unemployed Americans watching CNN in their pajamas in the middle of the day." --Seth Meyers

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Dick Cheney is where?

It was smart for them to try this balloon stunt while President Obama’s in office. That wouldn’t have worked with Bush Administration. Cheney would have shot that balloon down.- Jay Leno

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