Thursday edition - October 2, 2008



Despite sweetening, measure faces stiff fight in House
Baltimore Sun, United States - 10-2-08
WASHINGTON - The Senate voted reluctantly but solidly in favor of a modified $700 billion Wall Street rescue plan last night, but it remained uncertain...


Palin's role in Arctic claims questioned
The Associated Press - 10-2-08
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Russian attempts to claim part of the Arctic Ocean seabed have given Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin unique foreign policy experience..

Judge Could Dismiss Stevens's Indictment or Declare Mistrial
Washington Post - 10-2-08
A federal judge this morning scolded lawyers prosecuting Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens (R) on ethics charges for waiting until the last minute to disclose potentially exculpatory material, and said he would hear...


And, of course, in Congress, both parties continue to point fingers at each other, as opposed to the rest of the country, which is just giving the finger to Congress.- Jay Leno



The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

Pirate Update


Pirates off Somalia's lawless coast have raked in up to $30 million in ransoms this year alone, a London-based think tank reported Thursday, as negotiations continued between pirates and shipping officials over the release of a Ukrainian tanker laden with battle tanks and weapons.

Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your custom-built lake house sounds nice,
And your plane, boats, and tanning device.
But kindly don’t claim
You’re a “working class” dame.
We don’t buy it, so sorry, no dice.



Disturbing News


Pakistanis Against Palin



With some overly friendly comments to Gov. Sarah Palin at the United Nations, Asif Ali Zardari has succeeded in uniting one of Pakistan's hard-line mosques and its feminists after a few weeks in office.

A radical Muslim prayer leader said the president shamed the nation for "indecent gestures, filthy remarks, and repeated praise of a non-Muslim lady wearing a short skirt."


Well, earlier today, John McCain and Sarah Palin introduced a new “Just Say No” program. McCain told Sarah Palin, “If a reporter asks you any questions, just say no.” - Jay Leno







Republican-Shenanigans News


Well, Republicans are blaming Nancy Pelosi for the bailout not going through, but Democrats are blaming it on an incomplete proposal by the Republicans. John McCain, meanwhile, is blaming Barack Obama, Barack Obama is blaming John McCain, and Sarah Palin is praying nobody asks her what’s going on. - Jay Leno


Ready Or Not, Here She Comes!


 A growing proportion of U.S. voters question Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's readiness for the job, according to a national opinion poll reported by The Washington Post on Thursday.



Rock-The-Voter News


"So why did the House Republicans ... walk away from a deal that they had supposedly accepted and that would supposedly save our country from financial ruin. Why? [on screen: Virginia Representative Eric Cantor blaming the failure on Speaker Nancy Pelosi's 'partisan' speech before the vote]. ... What? The House Republicans are the hardest ball playing people in Washington. Pelosi must have thrown down some dag-nasty [on screen: excerpt of Pelosi's speech]. Owe (beep). Oh, yeah! That sounded like how you guys always talk to each other. The Republicans have feigned outrage over hyper partisan rhetoric they themselves perfected. Let's complete this with the daily double of the Democrats congratulating themselves for a job not done [on screen: Pelosi congratulating Democrats for working on the bill]. You failed. What is this, t-ball? Everybody gets a trophy? Isn't giving out easy credit what got us into this mess in the first place? Jesus!" --Jon Stewart





Right after the bailout vote, President Bush met behind closed doors with his economic team. Yeah, that was my thought too. Bush has an economic team?- Jay Leno



Biz-Tech News


"I guess you heard the news that the House killed the bailout plan. So Washington failed to act? Oh, I didn’t see that coming. Wow!" --David Letterman

Tonight's The Night!



Sen. Joe Biden and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will face off for their first and only debate in the presidential race Thursday night, an event pitting a political veteran against a political newcomer.


Bush-Prison-Torture News




"The financial crisis has actually helped Barack Obama's poll numbers. McCain's plan to suspend his campaign and settle this has backfired on him. Think about it, no one should benefit more from this than the McCain/Palin campaign. Sarah Palin could actually wind up being the perfect candidate. If the world economy does collapse, she's the only one who knows how to live off the land. You know? A moose in every pot, et cetera." --Jimmy Kimmel


Go-F**k-Yourself News


I hope you had a good time today!


Please support All Hat No Cattle

 Amazon Honor System Click Here to Pay Learn More

Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312



Email All Hat No Cattle


Odd News



A handout image from e-book publishers YUDU shows a dish by Serbian chef Ljubomir Erovic. Squeamish gentlemen look away now: Erovic is bringing out October 2, 2008 a no-holds-barred guide to cuisine with a twist: "The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls." Photo/YUDU