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Wednesday
edition - October 15, 2008
Not been a
good weekend for Governor Palin. In a 263-page report, Alaskan officials said
she abused the powers of her office, and that was an ethics violation. Wow,
she’s only been on the national scene a month, and already she has an ethics
violation. Who says she’s not ready for Washington, huh? - Jay Leno
www.buckfush.com
The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Look Who McCain Is Palling Around
With
William Timmons, the
Washington lobbyist who John McCain has named to head his presidential
transition team,
aided an influence effort on behalf of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein to ease
international sanctions against his regime.
In a
speech...talking about being behind in the polls, John McCain said, “My friends,
we’ve got them just where we want them.” And he’s not the first military man to
say that. I believe General Custer also said it. - Jay Leno
Disturbing News
"At a
rally today in Virginia, they played the theme to `Rocky' as John McCain walked
on to the stage. Does John McCain seem like Rocky to you?...Why would McCain
want to be like Rocky? Did you see the movie? Didn't Rocky get the hell kicked
out of him by the black guy?" - Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton Will Be Chief Justice AND President In 2012 -
Wonkette
Another Republican
Pedophile
A
tough-on-crime state parole board commissioner faces up to life in prison after
trying to set up a sexual liaison with two young sisters, authorities said
Tuesday.
Chris Ortloff, 61, was arrested in an Albany-area hotel late Monday by federal
officials who found condoms, lubricant, vibrators and a camera in his room.
The former 20-year Assembly Republican
thought he was going to be meeting a 12-year-old girl and her 11-year-old sister
who were to be dropped off by a parent, Assistant U.S. Attorney Thomas Spina
said.
Republican-Shenanigans News
Another Republican Sex Scandal
Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons
was sued in federal court by a woman who claimed he made advances and threatened
to rape her after having drinks at a Las Vegas restaurant just before the
2006 election.
"Bush is
trying to reassure Americans that things are going to get better soon. And I was
thinking well sure, in three months he'll be out of office." --David
Letterman
The McCain Strategy
McCain's
campaign strategy may be hurting hurt him: Twenty-one percent of voters say
their opinion of the Republican has changed for the worse in the last few weeks.
The top two reasons cited for the change of heart are McCain's attacks on Obama
and his choice of Sarah Palin as running mate.
Rock-The-Voter News
David Letterman's Top Ten
Surprises in the Sarah Palin "Troopergate" Investigation Report
10. Spent thousands of tax-payer dollars pimpin' her dog sled.
9. Terminated her hairstylist after receiving a bad beehive.
8. Palin claims she hasn't seen this kind of misuse of justice since Supreme
Court case of... umm, lemme think of one.
7. In her adult life has never gone more than ten minutes without saying, "You
betcha!"
6. No number 6 -- writer looking for his hairbrush.
5. Report's conclusion: "Hey, at least she didn't shoot a guy like Cheney!"
4. Spent 8 weeks in rehab for addiction to lip gloss.
3. When asked to respond to charges said, "Instead of answering your question,
I'm going to talk about energy."
2. Printed in extra-large font so McCain can read it!
1. Palin's excuse: "It wasn't me, it was Tina Fey"
"Newsweek
magazine's being criticized, because last week's cover featured a very
unflattering picture of Sarah Palin. Yeah, Palin says it's the worst thing the
press has done to her since the time they made her answer a question." --Conan
O'Brien
Sarah
Palin may be the greatest vice presidential pick in the history of man. -
Joe Scarborough 10-15-08
Biz-Tech News
"Critics
are wondering, what happened to the old John McCain. Wait a minute. There's an
older John McCain?" - Stephen Colbert
Too Stupid To Be A
Husband Or Father
Mark Ciptak
says he went behind his wife's back and listed their newborn daughter's name as
"Sarah McCain Palin" on her birth-certificate application because "we are strong
supporters of that ticket," according to the Kingsport Times-News in Tennessee.
"She wanted Ava Grace.
So,
with a clear conscience, even though I know I was sort of going around her back,
I kind of secretively put down Sarah McCain Palin instead of Ava Grace on
another set of forms that I acquired from the front desk,"
Bush-Prison-Torture News
Oliver
Stone’s “W.” is out on Friday. The movie shows how President Bush has changed
over the years. As a frat boy, he used to tap kegs. Now, he taps phones. -
LaughLines
Go-F**k-Yourself News
A Letter to The Red States
Dear Red
States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes California,
Hawaii,
Oregon,
Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan,
Illinois
and all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the
people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas,
Oklahoma
and all the slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the
Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You
get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We
get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your
evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to
their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus
Stanford, Cal
Tech and MIT. With the Red States,
on the other hand, you will have to
cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S.
mosquitoes, nearly 100
percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent
of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the
University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite,
thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent
say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was
involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you
are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico
Peace out,
Blue States
Email
Subject: Your future
Hi Lisa,
Just wondering how you are doing. I check the site and it is still so solid, but
it must feel like uncertain times ahead for you. I remember when we saw the
devastating results of the 2004 election and you said, oh well four more years
of employment.
I really admire all that
your site and your insight has done for so many important issues. Love to hear
what you are thinking about this and that.
Your fan, Ann from LA
Thanks so much Ann. Yeah,
I am a bit nervous about the future of AHNC.
Fans as yourself have
kept me online for almost eight years and I have my fingers crossed that I will
be able to continue. It would be ironic that I would have to close down AHNC
because Obama got elected and my support disappeared.
Only time will tell.
Hey,
buddies, can you spare some change?
Please
help keep All Hat No Cattle online
Offline
Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL
36312
Email All Hat No Cattle
Odd News
Bartender
Melanie Markham, left, serves up vodka drinks for guests inside IceBar Orlando
in Orlando, Fla. The bar, thought to be the first of its kind in the United
States, allows guests to experience 45 minutes in 27-degree temperatures while
sitting on fur-lined ice furniture and enjoying vodka drinks in glasses, also
made of ice.
Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack
Peace.
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