Friday the 13th/Weekend edition - October 13-15, 2006





Bush: I am proud to be standing with Hastert
Chicago Sun-Times - 10-13-06
 Bush was the headline draw for the million-dollar fund-raiser to benefit Republicans Peter Roskam and David McSweeney, with the outcome possibly determining which party controls the House.


British Army Chief Wants His Troops Out of Iraq
Los Angeles Times - 10-13-06
From AP. LONDON - The new head of Britain's army called for a withdrawal of British troops from Iraq, warning that their presence made security problems worse, according to an interview published Thursday.

Foley Email Bush
Palm Beach Post,  United States - 10-13-06
E-mails from former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley to Gov. Jeb Bush reveal that Foley feared two years ago the White House was shunning him, and he called on the governor, President Bush’s brother, to intercede.


Happy Friday the 13th!



"Earlier today at a press conference, President Bush said he will not attack North Korea. Well, of course not. They actually have weapons of mass destruction." --David Letterman


The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News



"The Army has a new slogan. It's replacing its slogan, 'An Army of One,' with 'Army Strong.' I knew we were lowering the academic requirements. I didn't realize we were wiping out the use of verbs." --Jay Leno


Disturbing News


Condi Acknowledges Gay Marriage!


At a State Department ceremony this week, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice warmly acknowledged the family members of Mark Dybul, whom she was swearing in as the nation's new global AIDS coordinator.
As first lady Laura Bush looked on, Rice singled out his partner, Jason Claire,
and Claire's mother. Rice referred to her as Dybul's "mother-in-law."






"Now there are dozens of calls for House Speaker Dennis Hastert to step down. As you know, Hastert was a former gym teacher and boys' wrestling coach. To which Mark Foley said, 'Why would anybody quit a dream job like that?'." --Jay Leno


Republican Shenanigans



Since we can't get the lobbyists out of the capitol, we're going to have to move the capitol to someplace lobbyists would never set foot in, like Bed-Stuy or South Central, or a public golf course. It's not as crazy as it sounds, because that's how Washington got moved here in the first place. America's capitol had been in Philadelphia, and then New York. But it was deliberately moved to a swamp in far-off Virginia in order to separate lawmaking from the moneyed interests. And okay, to keep Thomas Jefferson out of Harlem. -- Bill Maher




Rock-The-Voter News



Here's an analogy for you: we're all just PAGES being boinked by the White House. -- Grant Gerver




Jon Stewart explains the big gay conspiracy in Washington




From Russia With Love -- Gifts to President Bush from Russian President Vladimir Putin



Least Expensive Gift Given to Bush:

* 8-by-11-inch photograph of former President George H.W. Bush and family on the rocks in Kennebunkport, Maine, and inscribed by the former president. Russian President Vladimir Putin, $5.




Other Gifts from Putin:

* 8-by-10-inch print of a photograph of Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin in a gold-tone and wood frame, $20.

* Silver horse shoe inlaid with aquamarine stones, $250.

* 40 color photos documenting Bush's trip to Russia in honor of the 60th anniversary of the end of World War II, in a navy blue leather album stamped "1945-2005" around a silhouette of Red Square, $235.


Odd assortment of gifts from Putin to Bush.  I wonder what kind of message he was trying to send with the least expensive gift?






American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) CEO Bill Novelli announced today that the 35 million member organization's Board Of Directors has approved a name change, and will now be known as the American Association of Old People Who Must Work Until They're Dead. - DemocraticUnderground Forum



Biz/Tech News



Money Laundering - Conservative Style


Five conservative nonprofit groups laundered money and wrote opinion pieces for disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff and sold their influence with U.S. government officials, according to a Senate report.





"Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial." —Bill Maher


Bush-Prison-Torture News



"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws."  - Tacitus






Republican Exposes Sex Ring!


U.S. Rep. Christopher Shays was under fire yesterday after saying in a debate earlier this week that the abuse at Abu Ghraib prison was not torture but rather a "sex ring" involving National Guard troops.

Amnesty International officials and Shays' challengers in the 4th District said it was absurd for the Republican incumbent to call the acts at the Iraqi prison anything but torture.


That Kim Jong-il, boy. He's such an arrogant despot. He'd make a great Republican. - Grant Gerver


Go-F***-Yourself News




ALL HAT, NO CATTLE?: That wasn't the only chatter floating around the Cattle Baron's Ball. Each year since 1996, the event has changed venues and themes; this year's theme was ``Serenade, Stetsons, Stars'' and guests brought out their best Western or Spanish wear for the occasion. But the rumor floating around Saturday night was that the name of the event, borrowed from similar fundraisers in Texas, would be changing as well next year, because the word ``cattle'' has fallen out of favor.



"There is more to life than increasing its speed." Mahatma Gandhi






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Odd News



Canadian soldiers occupy a temporary observation post overlooking a field of marijuana plants in Afghanistan's Panjwaii District in this September 14, 2006 handout photo released October 12, 2006. Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three meter) high marijuana plants. Picture taken September 14, 2006. Photo/Canadian Forces/Sgt Lou Penney