October 1, 2004 TGIF/Weekend Edition

Kerry's turnaround
Boston Globe, 10-1-04
Despite a game attempt by the president to depict Kerry as indecisive, it was Kerry who attacked Bush for sending mixed messages in matters of homeland ...


House Panel Moves to Limit Floor Access

AP, 10-1-04

A Cabinet member's role in pressing lawmakers to back the Medicare prescription drug law last year prompted the House ethics committee to recommend changing a 200-year-old rule allowing the president's top appointees access to the House floor...

Bush: Kerry would let France control US military

AFP, 10-1-04

U.S. President George W. Bush charged Democratic White House hopeful John Kerry would let France or other countries decide when Washington can use force to defend itself.

I wonder if Bush makes faces when in discussion with world leaders?

 "As Bush spoke, Kerry could be seen writing furiously. What was he writing?
(Holds a mock-up of Kerry's notepad reading: 'I am scorching him.')"
-- Jon Stewart


Dave Casey


The Large Editor - AllHatNoCattle.net



Just ask Dubya



Many average Americans such as myself came away from Thursday night’s presidential campaign debate with mixed messages.

Or as President Bush said during the event, “mexed missages.”

Initially I thought he was referring to illegal aliens who manage to slip across the Rio Grande River into Texas.

But after pondering that phrase and other weighty intellectual pronouncements made by Dubya, I realized that any misunderstanding must be due to the mental limitations of average citizens that preclude us from understanding the Grand Master and his Plan.

That is why many in the United States need and want a strong, decisive leader like Dubya. Even if he’s wrong, he’s strong. Just ask him.

“I believe I’m going to win because the American people know I know how to lead,” he told millions of television viewers Thursday.

And Dubya knows a lot. Just ask him.

“I know how these people think,” he said of other nations’ leaders. “I meet with them … I talk with them on the phone.”

Most of us lowly average Americans meet people and talk to people on the phone. But that doesn’t enable us to read their minds. This must be another reason why Dubya should be president.

Toughness is yet another reason to re-elect Dubya. Just ask him.

“You better have a president who chases these terrorists down and brings them to justice.”

And let’s not forget his business acumen and deep knowledge of economics. Failed business ventures in the past and a record budget deficit established during his first term as president don’t mean that Dubya doesn’t understand economics.

“If hope you don’t have to get where … you have to pay for all this,” he said in response to different government spending priorities espoused by Democratic challenger John Kerry during the debate. Then Dubya gestured with one thumb and forefinger about two inches apart so we average Americans would understand. “It’s like a big tax gap.”

And if anyone should understand the tax gap, it’s Dubya.

Additionally, the president’s spirituality and personal mannerisms are reasons to keep him on the job. Just ask him.

He described meeting with a military widow: “We prayed and teared up some.” He assured us of his resolute spirit: “I won’t change my core values.”

Most importantly, Dubya deserves another term because he’s an entertaining president, not quite as quick with the comedic one-liners as the GOP stand-up king, Ronald Reagan, but much more fun to watch.

Dubya put on a great sideshow during the debate, alternately grimacing, frowning, pouting and searching through his notes with a bewildered air while Kerry spoke. Between facial contortions and nervous bodily movements, Dubya offered this candid self-assessment.

“I’m a pretty calm guy.”

So I guess that makes this average American the Pope.


DNC Releases New 'Faces of Frustration' Post Debate Video

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

"Nomination for worst political come-on of the year so far: The RNC sent a mailing to
  West Virginia Republicans that claims banning the Bible is part of the 'liberal agenda.' It features quite a striking picture of a Bible with the word 'BANNED' across it.  No, no, no, fellas. Liberals are the ones who oppose censorship and book burning."
-- Molly Ivins


Disturbing News

Republican Shenanigans

Republican Orgies?

"I even take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged."
-- U.S. Supreme Court Justice Scalia surprised his audience at Harvard University

Dick Cheney and Scalia are huntin' buddies. I wonder if they hunt more than pheasants?

Good News

Biz/Tech News

Mr. Tall and Mr. Small
Thursday, September 30, 2004
By Greg Palast

Our President told the debate audience, "You cannot lead if you send mexxed missiges." I certainly hope not.

But that's exactly what we got. You watch our President, the nervous hand-hiding, the compulsive water-glass-fondling, the panicked I-wish-I-had-a-whiskey look, and you think, "My god, this is the guy who's supposed to save us from al Qaeda."

And how are we going to win the War on Terror, Mr. President? "First of all, of course I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that," he said. Well, that's a start, I suppose.

But it doesn't have to stay this way. This is America, home of the brave and where, I remember from school, we could vote for president and the votes would count. So we looked to the tall man next to him to show us the way out.

In Iraq, "We don't have enough troops there," said the tall one. Really, Senator? We should send MORE? Not exactly: Mr. Tall's got a plan to get our troops out. He'll have a big meeting of "allies," and after he talks with them, they will all jump up and volunteer to send THEIR kids to Fallujah. France and Indonesia and Kuwait can't wait to ship in soldiers and extra body bags. Right. We love you, John, but there’s no band of Hobbits coming to the rescue -- that's just a movie.

Well, he looked kind of "presidential." But given the line-up includes Nixon, Ford and two Bushes, that's not a big trick.

I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to stand up and cheer that John Kerry didn't get Gored. In fact, if you look at presidential debates the way the media plays it, as something akin to Olympic figure skating, where you score for the competitor’s style, you could say Kerry won.

But I don't feel WE won anything.

I mean, when Jim Lehrer asked how the candidates would make America safe from terrorists, Mr. Tall said he'd hire more firemen. And add more cops. Maybe he thought he was running for mayor.

It was disappointing, but then Mr. Small's answer was downright frightening. We have to "stay on the offensive," and "stay on the offense," and "I repeat, stay on the offense." We have no doubt that Mr. Small can be extraordinarily offensive, but even he can't take his offensiveness to the bad guys if he doesn't know where they are. And on that point, he's clueless.

There were two words I was hoping to hear from Mr. Tall: "Saudi" and "Arabia." Imagine if he laid it on the line, "The terrorists didn't put the hijackings on a credit card, Mr. President. Their Saudi sponsors are fattening on the bloated war-driven price of oil. But you can't touch your buck-buddies in the Gulf, can you, Mr. President?. As Commander-in-Chief, I'd cut'm off at the spigots, beginning with the release of oil from our Strategic Petroleum Reserve. And then I'd seize their fat assets in the USA to compensate the victims of terror attacks."

When Mr. Tall was asked what whoppers the President has told us, surely there was something a bit more memorable than Mr. Small's failing to win over allies for his whacky crusade.

Here's what Mr. Tall said … in my dreams:

* "Beginning in March 2001, your Administration began a series of meetings with oil company executives to map the conquest of Iraq and its oil, a plan Americans would pay for in blood. You originally called this scheme, 'Operation Iraqi Liberation' -- O.I.L. We don't appreciate your little joke, Mr. Small."

* "One month after seizing Baghdad you fired General Jay Garner, the man you put in charge of Iraq, after he called for rapid elections in Najaf; after he refused to impose your plans to sell off Iraq's oil fields. In Najaf, citizens denied ballots, turned to bullets. And then, as General Garner predicted, the seizure of Iraq's assets resulted in the type of war one expects -- when seeking to impose colonial control."

* "Mr. Small, you claim we've given a thousand lives to bring democracy to the Mid-east. But so far, your democracy, Mr. Small, comes down to a puppet prime minister, we've installed in Iraq and a puppet government, the Saudis have installed in Washington."

OK, I can't expect all that in a presidential debate, where the message has to fit through a tube. But still, Mr. Tall could have won my vote with two words. It's the two-word answer John Kerry gave three decades ago when asked the same question -- “How can we get our troops out of a disastrous war?”

Then, the clear-minded, tall young men said, "In ships."

View Greg Palast's exclusive interview with General Jay Garner for BBC Television in the film, "Bush Family Fortunes," available this week on DVD in an updated edition from Ryko at http://www.gregpalast.com/bff-dvd.htm

To receive Greg’s investigative reports hot off the press click here: http://www.gregpalast.com/contact.cfm


The Three Faces of Dubya


Bush-Prison-Torture News

 "President Bush's hometown newspaper in Crawford, Texas, has endorsed John Kerry. Well President Bush doesn't know about it, cause it was in his newspaper." -- Jay Leno

Go-F*** -Yourself News


Kerry/Edwards News

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Odd News

The Large Editor and I will be attending services Saturday at the Cathedral to College Football in Tallahassee, watching Florida State and North Carolina play. You will be able to spot us; we will be doing the tomahawk chop in unison.