Thursday edition - January 8, 2009

"Earlier today, Barack Obama's daughters started at their new school in Washington, DC. Yeah, their teachers are really impressed and said that both girls are already reading well above President Bush level." --Conan O'Brien
 

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without George W. Bush

• US military deaths in Iraq war at 4,223 AP

• Roadside bombs kill 5 Iraqi soldiers in Diyala AP

• U.S. says troops kill 32 insurgents in Afghanistan Reuters

• Iraq sends 30,000 troops to guard Karbala pilgrims AP

• Gates Urges $69.7 Billion More in 2009 for Iraq War Bloomberg

• Bush thanks military for undertaking 'just' work The Associated Press

• Report: US had unrealistic goals in Afghanistan The Associated Press

• Lebanon looking for who fired rockets into Israel AP

• AP Gaza reporter finds hometown in rubble AP

"And a special holiday message was delivered by the Iranian president. It aired on British TV Christmas Day, and in this message, the Iranian president said that if Jesus were alive today, he would be standing next to him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure Jesus would be wearing an 'I'm With Stupid' t-shirt, too." --Jay Leno

Fabulous Bush Graphic from Vanity Fair

CIA and LSD

Six veterans who say they were exposed to dangerous chemicals, germs and mind-altering drugs during Cold War-era experiments filed a federal lawsuit against the CIA, Department of Defense and other agencies Wednesday.
 

www.internetweekly.org

Disturbing News

• Feds say inauguration attractive terrorist target AP

• Galveston officials paint bleak picture after Ike AP

"And Congress says this week they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. So The guy that made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear." --Jay Leno
 

US Mercenary Update

Five former Blackwater Worldwide security guards pleaded not guilty Tuesday to federal manslaughter and gun charges resulting from a 2007 shooting in a crowded Baghdad square that killed 17 Iraqi civilians and injured dozens of others.
 

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Republican-Shenanigans News

• Jeb Bush Says He Won't Run For Open Senate Seat in 2010 Washington Post

• Scribner to publish first lady Laura Bush's memoir The Associated Press

• Florida Republican congressman Cliff Stearns asks Nancy Pelosi for football break Canadian Press

• Key Senate Republican Ups the Rhetoric, Questions "Character" of ... ABC News

• Bush's long-time aides predict history will judge him favorably USA Today

General Sanjay Gupta?

 President-elect Barack Obama's reported choice for surgeon general, CNN medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, could bring a dose of star power to a job that hasn't had that much clout in decades.

President-elect Barack Obama has now named former Clinton chief of staff Leon Panetta to be his director of the C.I.A. But a lot of senators are criticizing this because they say Panetta is not an intelligence professional. You know, like President Bush. - Jay Leno

Rock-The-Voter News

• Stimulus aside, Obama vows future budget restraint AP

• Democratic opposition to seating Burris cracks AP

• VP-elect Biden sworn in for 7th Senate term The Associated Press

• MSNBC's Chris Matthews won't run for Senate Reuters

Wow, Plumber Hired As War Correspondent

Joe the Plumber is taking on a new job.
The Ohio man made famous during the presidential campaign is heading to Israel as a war correspondent for the conservative Web site, pjtv.com.
 

On this date in 2001, George W. Bush was certified as the winner of the 2000 presidential election. How about that? That turned out pretty well, didn’t it?
- David Letterman

Biz-Tech News

• Oil Rises as Lebanon Rockets Hit Israel, Widening Gaza Conflict Bloomberg

• Venezuela to keep sending free fuel to US poor AP

• Bank of America sells shares in Chinese bank AP

• Obama: $1 trillion deficits 'for years' CNNMoney.com

• Madoff victims may get some cash within a month: report Reuters

• US Shopping Mall Vacancies Reach 10-Year High as Stores Fail Bloomberg

• Apartment rents show first decline in over 5 years Reuters

And we have been off since Christmas. You know, I was out of the country. Not the best vacation, because I have a timeshare in Gaza.- Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• Keep Gitmo detainees out of Kansas, Sebelius says Kansas City Star

• Detainees in Afghanistan seeking right for release The Associated Press

In an interview with the Washington Times, Vice President Dick Cheney said he is not a big fan of rap music. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was stunned by that. Actually, I’m surprised. I mean, look at the guy. Cheney gets driven around in a limo, he’s surrounded by body guards, shot a guy in the face — he is a rap star.- Jay Leno
 

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Cheney Dismisses "Urban Legend" CBS News

Nominate your favorite Website The 2009 Bloggies

Stands By Her Man

Osbourne went ballistic when Megan dissed Ozzy, but what they didn't show was Sharon ripping at Hauserman's hair extensions or the bikini-clad girl's trip to the hospital the next day, where she filed a police report with the LAPD.

One thing is clear -- trash Sharon all you want, just leave Ozzy out of it

" Drag God into politics, and you'll ruin His reputation in no time."- Molly Ivins

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