"Cold. Am
I right? You know, Rush Limbaugh was ill. And he had to go to the hospital. He
had chest pains but he's completely recovered. He'll be back on his job on
Wednesday, which is great because the country really can use some hot air now."
–David Letterman
The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam
Payback's A Bitch
The security firm formerly known as Blackwater has reached a settlement in a series of federal lawsuits in which dozens of Iraqis accused the company of cultivating a reckless culture that allowed innocent civilians to be killed.
"A new
poll asked Americans who their ideal next-door neighbor would be. The No. 1
answer was the Obama family, mainly because the Obamas are the kind of neighbors
who would lend you a cup of sugar or a trillion dollars." –Conan O'Brien
Disturbing News
"Remember they had the big state dinner for the Prime Minister of India and a couple of people who weren't invited show up, the Salahis? And now it turns out there was a third person who was not invited that showed up at the state dinner. I mean, it's a little crazy. I mean, before that, the only person I knew who showed up at the White House without the proper credentials was George Bush." –David Letterman
Poor Detroit. The Underwear Bomber Was Headed To Detroit And Now This Looney
An
airline passenger in Miami proclaimed
"I want to kill all the Jews" before police forced him off a Detroit-bound
plane, authorities said Thursday.
Republican-Shenanigans News
"President
Obama has appointed a transgender woman to a position in the Department of
Commerce. You know, in this era of partisan bickering, President Obama deserves
a lot of credit for taking a chance on Ann Coulter, I think." –Conan O'Brien Sarah Palin To Attend the "Sarah Palin Adoration Society" aka "Teabaggers"
The tea
partiers will hold their first ever national convention Feb. 4-6 in Nashville,
and
Sarah Palin will be there to take up the mantle that has been waiting for
her as the movement's most visible and popular hero, delivering the keynote
address at its closing-night banquet on Saturday night. Rock-The-Voter News
"Tomorrow
at the White House, President Obama is going to recognize a group of teachers
for their award-winning work in teaching math and science. Obama said he's
looking forward to it, because he always likes meeting people from China." –Jimmy
Fallon
Ads by Google
Biz-Tech News
"Of
course, a lot of people complaining that traveling here in the United States is
a pain; we shouldn't have to go through a pat-down search. You think you should?
Yeah, I mean, hey, when you go to a football stadium, they pat you down, right,
huh? I mean, shouldn't the country be as least as hard to get into as a
Cleveland Browns game? Don't you think?" –Jay Leno British TV Personality Resigns
One of the BBC's highest-paid television ($9.5 million) personalities announced Thursday he is leaving the broadcaster, 15 months after he was caught up in a scandal over lewd prank phone calls....The BBC has been under pressure to reduce the high fees it gives top talent because it is a public broadcaster and the salaries are, in effect, paid by the taxpayer.
Bush-Prison-Torture News
"And
former President Bush says he's been following the situation in Yemen very
carefully. But, you know, we love President Bush, but I don't think he really
understands the situation. Like today, said, 'When life gives you Yemens, you
make Yemenade.'" –Jay Leno
Meanwhile, Back In College Football
Mack Brown wore a gray suit. Nick Saban was in navy. The two men shook hands in front of the national championship trophy, looking as much like candidates for governor before election day as football coaches getting ready for the big game.
Go-F**k-Yourself News
"There's
talk now we may have to go through these full body scanners, which would allow
T.S.A. screeners to see us, not exactly naked, but close enough that every time
Salma Hayek goes to the airport, there's going to be a line of guys in blue
polyester blazers running to their posts." –Jimmy Kimmel
Did you have a good time today?
Please support All Hat No Cattle
Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312
Email me lisa@allhatnocattle.net Odd News To Help You Deflate Photo
A mailbox
with a unique post sticks up from a snow bank at the end of a Moreland Hills,
Ohio driveway on Tuesday, Jan. 5, 2010. Peace.
NOTICE: No pixels were harmed in the production of this website. |
