www.internetweekly.org

"Cold. Am I right? You know, Rush Limbaugh was ill. And he had to go to the hospital. He had chest pains but he's completely recovered. He'll be back on his job on Wednesday, which is great because the country really can use some hot air now." –David Letterman
 

The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam

• US military deaths in Iraq war at 4372‎ - AJC

• US Military Deaths in AfghanistanTulsa World

• Blasts kill 6 in Iraq's western Anbar province

• Suicide bomber kills 7 in east Afghanistan market

• Al Qaeda claims attack on CIA workers in Afghanistan

• US complains of Pakistan harassment of diplomats

Payback's A Bitch

The security firm formerly known as Blackwater has reached a settlement in a series of federal lawsuits in which dozens of Iraqis accused the company of cultivating a reckless culture that allowed innocent civilians to be killed.

"A new poll asked Americans who their ideal next-door neighbor would be. The No. 1 answer was the Obama family, mainly because the Obamas are the kind of neighbors who would lend you a cup of sugar or a trillion dollars." –Conan O'Brien
 

Disturbing News

• At least 3 dead, 5 wounded in St. Louis shooting

• Feds: Man bombed Ark. med board chair in revenge

• Frigid weather hits Midwest, -52 wind chill in ND

"Remember they had the big state dinner for the Prime Minister of India and a couple of people who weren't invited show up, the Salahis? And now it turns out there was a third person who was not invited that showed up at the state dinner. I mean, it's a little crazy. I mean, before that, the only person I knew who showed up at the White House without the proper credentials was George Bush." –David Letterman

Poor Detroit. The Underwear Bomber Was Headed To Detroit And Now This Looney

 An airline passenger in Miami proclaimed "I want to kill all the Jews" before police forced him off a Detroit-bound plane, authorities said Thursday.
 

Republican-Shenanigans News

• Steele: GOP to 'embrace' Tea Party UPI.com

• Palin Continues To Say 'Death Panels' Are In Health Care Bill TPM LiveWire (blog)

• Parry denies Twitter scrubbing, calls Obama 'angry' black man Minnesota Independent

"President Obama has appointed a transgender woman to a position in the Department of Commerce. You know, in this era of partisan bickering, President Obama deserves a lot of credit for taking a chance on Ann Coulter, I think." –Conan O'Brien
 

Sarah Palin To Attend the "Sarah Palin Adoration Society" aka "Teabaggers"

The tea partiers will hold their first ever national convention Feb. 4-6 in Nashville, and Sarah Palin will be there to take up the mantle that has been waiting for her as the movement's most visible and popular hero, delivering the keynote address at its closing-night banquet on Saturday night.
 

Rock-The-Voter News

• Obama backs high-end health plan tax

• Michigan balks at Obama's stance in Asian carp fight

"Tomorrow at the White House, President Obama is going to recognize a group of teachers for their award-winning work in teaching math and science. Obama said he's looking forward to it, because he always likes meeting people from China." –Jimmy Fallon
 

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Biz-Tech News

• Uh-oh: The return of $3 gas CNNMoney.com

• Homebuilder Lennar posts profit for Q4

• Buffalo's debt collectors accused of bullying

• Koppel may return to ABC

"Of course, a lot of people complaining that traveling here in the United States is a pain; we shouldn't have to go through a pat-down search. You think you should? Yeah, I mean, hey, when you go to a football stadium, they pat you down, right, huh? I mean, shouldn't the country be as least as hard to get into as a Cleveland Browns game? Don't you think?" –Jay Leno
 

British TV Personality Resigns

One of the BBC's highest-paid television ($9.5 million) personalities announced Thursday he is leaving the broadcaster, 15 months after he was caught up in a scandal over lewd prank phone calls....The BBC has been under pressure to reduce the high fees it gives top talent because it is a public broadcaster and the salaries are, in effect, paid by the taxpayer.

Bush-Prison-Torture News

• U.S. believes 1 in 5 ex-detainees joining militants

"And former President Bush says he's been following the situation in Yemen very carefully. But, you know, we love President Bush, but I don't think he really understands the situation. Like today, said, 'When life gives you Yemens, you make Yemenade.'" –Jay Leno
 

Meanwhile, Back In College Football

Mack Brown wore a gray suit. Nick Saban was in navy. The two men shook hands in front of the national championship trophy, looking as much like candidates for governor before election day as football coaches getting ready for the big game.

Go-F**k-Yourself News

• Another Cheney blasts Obama on terrorism Boston Globe

"There's talk now we may have to go through these full body scanners, which would allow T.S.A. screeners to see us, not exactly naked, but close enough that every time Salma Hayek goes to the airport, there's going to be a line of guys in blue polyester blazers running to their posts." –Jimmy Kimmel
 

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