Wednesday edition - January 6, 2010




Joan Rivers Steamed Over Airport Incident
CBS News - ‎1-6-10
David Letterman joked on the "Late Show with David Letterman" that, "It's fascinating to me: We got Joan Rivers, and we still can't get Osama Bin Laden! ..


Sarah Palin's Daughter, Bristol, Sets Up Public Relations Firm
Bloomberg - Jonathan D. Salant - ‎1-6-10
Bristol Palin, the eldest daughter of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, has set up her own public relations firm, according to articles

Brit Hume to Tiger Woods: Only Christianity works
USA Today - 1-6-10
Brit Hume has ramped up his ongoing crusade to convert Tiger Woods to Christianity and bring him to the Master, if not the Masters


There was no mention of the Joan Rivers' incident in the largest English speaking newspaper here in Costa Rica.



"You guys hear this? Rush Limbaugh was released from a hospital in Hawaii two days after suffering from chest pains. He's fine. Doctors say they don't know what caused it, but it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged." –Jimmy Fallon



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam



"I guess you heard about that kid that tried to blow up the plane on Christmas Day with a bomb he had hidden in his underwear. Fortunately, it didn't go off and his underpants just caught fire. Al Qaeda calls that 'a wardrobe malfunction.'" –Jay Leno



Disturbing News


"Rush Limbaugh is OK after being released from a Hawaiian hospital after a heart scare. Fox News sent flowers; MSNBC sent cheese fries." –Jay Leno



For The Glassy Eyed


Coastal Contacts, the world's largest online retailer of contact lenses and eyeglasses, announced that Sarah Palin 8001 eyeglasses have been the top selling design of rimless eyeglasses for the past year on the company's website.


Republican-Shenanigans News


"After it was announced that Senate Foreign Relations Chairman John Kerry may go to Iran, the mullahs denied him an entry visa. See, that's how international travel works. If your name is Senator John Kerry and you're a former candidate for President of the United States, your travel is limited. If your name is Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, you stow a bomb in your underpants, you pay cash for a one-way ticket after your father called the embassy and said, 'My kid is an idiot,' ooh, you can go anywhere you want." –Jay Leno


Rock-The-Voter News

Rush Has A Girlfriend? Ewww


Rush Limbaugh's girlfriend, Kathryn Rogers, gave Page2Live an inside account of the radio host's heart scare.

Rogers first heard about the incident, which occurred during a Hawaii vacation, while she was getting her nails done with her mother.


Isn't it ironic that Rush Limbaugh was in the same hospital that Obama was born in?



"Mercenaries and auxiliaries are useless and dangerous; and if one holds his state based on these arms, he will stand neither firm nor safe; for they are disunited, ambitious and without discipline, unfaithful, valiant before friends, cowardly before enemies; they have neither the fear of God nor fidelity to men, and destruction is deferred only so long as the attack is; for in peace one is robbed by them, and in war by the enemy."- THE PRINCE
by Nicolo Machiavelli

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Biz-Tech News


"Scientists now say that within 40 years, robots will be doing most of the jobs we don't want to do, especially illegal robots from Mexico." –Jay Leno

Bush-Prison-Torture News

Just When You Think It Can't Get Any More Absurd...


...Move over, Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese. Step aside, Fish Stick Jesus. Online bidders, meet the Holy Cross Potato. Both of them. Yes, the 2009 holiday season bestowed (at least) two miraculous spuds with crosses at their centers. Aside from the sizes of the spuds, the main difference is price.





Palindrone: a speech that can be read either forward or backward. It doesn’t really matter. - Laugh Lines


Go-F**k-Yourself News




I was hoping to donate, during your fundraising campaign, but had a heart attack instead. Had to wait to see what it was going to do to my finances.

Keep up the good work, and thanks for your contributions to civilization.



Oh no, John, a heart attack! I am so sorry to hear that.

Get well vibrations are sent your way.

Since my health scare I now sign my emails to my son, "I miss and love you with all of my heart."

I'm glad your heart pulled through for you.



ps You wrote:
Keep up the good work, and thanks for your contributions to civilization.
That has to be one of the best compliments anyone could receive. Thank you.


A new device can turn thoughts into speech. Don’t we already have that? It’s called alcohol. - Laugh Lines




Please keep All Hat No Cattle Online


Thank you for your support John and Babeth.



Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312


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Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



In this image released from the National Taiwan Ocean University, a new species of crab (Neoliomera Pubescens) is displayed. A marine biologist said he has discovered a new crab species off the coast of southern Taiwan that looks like a strawberry with small white bumps on its red shell.
Photo/National Taiwan Ocean University




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