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All Hat No Cattle laughs at people pretending to be something they're not. Toons and funny one liners to lessen the hard right blows.

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Wednesday Edition - January 4, 2006


Click here for the George W Bush Countdown Desk Clock


Big-time lobbyist's plea deal casts shadow over Congress
Seattle Times, United States - 1-4-06
Jack Abramoff, the once-powerful lobbyist at the center of a wide-ranging corruption investigation, pleaded guilty Tuesday to fraud, tax evasion and conspiracy to bribe public officials in a deal that requires him to provide evidence about members of Congress.

5,736 Iraqis killed in 2005 violence-official data
Reuters AlertNet, UK - 1-4-06
... Of the 5,736 dead, 4,020 were civilians, 1,241 police officers ... In 2005, 845 US soldiers were killed. ... President George W. Bush said some 30,000 Iraqis may have ..

Bush Frustrated by Patriot Act Resistance
CBS News - 1-4-06
(AP) Congress has been resisting some of President Bush's strategies in the war on terror _ particularly, a permanent renewal of the USA Patriot Act _ and he ...

Congress needs cleaning out. Who would have thought that a Republican lobbyist would do it?

 I have a great way to help the hurricane victims of New Orleans. Here's what you do... If you live in New Orleans, pretend to have weapons of mass destruction. Remind President Bush that Louisiana has oil. He'll invade and then spend a trillion dollars rebuilding the place!—Jay Leno

The-World-Is-A-Safer-Place-Without-Saddam News

"President Bush says he is 100% sure he was right to wiretap. 100% sure that he was right to wiretap. And you know Bush, when he says he's 100% sure, he's always right." --David Letterman

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Easy listening in uneasy times

Click here to listen to TRUE BLUE by Dan Tyler


Disturbing News

Conan Style Campaigning

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, in a signal that he'll mount an aggressive 2006 re-election campaign, has hired one of the White House's top political operatives to run his campaign -- a former California GOP strategist who has been described by Newsweek as a political "artillery shell" for his hard-charging tactics.

The governor's office would not confirm the hiring on Tuesday, but sources said Steve Schmidt, 35, is expected to be announced shortly as Schwarzenegger's 2006 re-election campaign manager

 Coal Mining: Long-Term Contribution Trends from

2006 - Year of the Neoconvict. - Lars, an AHNC viewer

 Republican Shenanigans

"I would have made a good Pope."  - Richard M. Nixon

Ugly Is As Ugly Does


And now, the 2005 Loop Lawmaker of the Year: Rep. Jean "Mean Jean" Schmidt (R-Ohio). Schmidt narrowly edged former representative Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-Calif.). Cunningham, who had been seen as a slam-dunk winner. Unfortunately, he was ruled ineligible after having resigned from the House for personal reasons and a bribery indictment.

Schmidt, though in town only a few months, locked up the prestigious award last month with that eloquent speech on the House floor calling Rep. John P. Murtha (D-Pa.), a decorated Marine, a "coward." This was promptly followed by a deer-in-the-headlights floor apology. She's not spoken on the House floor since her Nov. 18 disquisition

Rock-The-Voter News

"The best weapon of a dictatorship is secrecy; the best weapon of a democracy is openness."  -- Edward Teller

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Roques has kept the Blues alive for over 60 years! Click here

Whacking Wonkette?

On the morning The New York Times gave a not-so-favorable review to her new novel comes news that Ana Marie Cox may be exiting her Washington blog Wonkette, to be replaced by David Lat, the federal prosecutor best known as former author of the spicy Underneath Their Robes judicial blog, according to the Wall Street Journal online and the New York Observer.

Good News

 "Republicans are as serious about fiscal responsibility as Paris Hilton is about modesty." -- Marshall Wittmann, past press secretary to Sen. John McCain

 The “Great Uniters” Divisive Nominee

Americans lack consensus on whether the Senate should confirm Judge Samuel Alito as an associate justice of the Supreme Court, - Poll Shows Americans Are Divided On Support for Alito Confirmationa Harris Interactive poll shows.

Biz/Tech News

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."  - John F. Kennedy

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Spending Your Homeland Security Tax Dollars

Grant Goodman is an 81-year-old emeritus professor of Asian history at the University of Kansas.

He has had an ongoing correspondence by snail mail with a former professor of history at the University of the Philippines, where Goodman had taught on three separate occasions.

In early December, he was shocked when a letter arrived from her that had already been opened.

“The bottom of the envelope had been slashed open and then retaped with green tape,” says Goodman. “And it said, ‘Opened by Border Protection’ in great big letters. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security seal is on it, too.”

Some Responses to yesterday's question

Have you thought of any good decisions by Bush?

  • Not tugging too hard on Karl Rove's short leash and making an even bigger fool of himself than he already has.- Ron

  • He decided to be a Republican, saving the Democratic Party the historical disgrace of his presidency. - John

  • Eating Pretzels - Susan

  • Good decision to admit he spied on Americans and that he is dumb enough to think he has the right to continue spying, without court authority. I say keep the confessions coming, it helps the case for impeachment. - Ed, Oregon

Bush-Prison-Torture News

Say Goodbye To Tom DeLay -- Song Parody (Sing to "Yesterday")
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tom DeLay,
He's got troubles. They won't go away.
Jack's pled guilty and he'll have his say.
So say goodbye to Tom DeLay.

He's pled guilty. Now Tom won't get off.
Yes, they've got him cold, though wingnuts scoff.
Can't wait to hear from Abramoff.

The rest of my song parody is here:

Go-F***-Yourself News

  • He must be in that undisclosed location again

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.  -- Steven Wright

Odd News


A Nasa Indian arranges bottles of 'Coca Sek' drink in Inza, Colombia December 16, 2005. Colombian Indians are using the raw material of cocaine to make a soft drink they hope will displace in their area another, better known beverage with the same ingredient: Coca-Cola. Photo by Jason Webb













Daily Frontpage   Archives     You might be a right wing Republican if..What Liberal Media?   Republican Presidential Quotations   Bush-Cheney Political Contributions   Cream of the Crop Links  T-Shirts, Mugs and More    Please donate so I can put food on my family  Subscribe to AHNC About AHNC   Advertise on All Hat No Cattle  Contact me  Copyright Notice

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