Monday edition - January 18, 2010




Tea Party Group Backs Brown, Pressures Third Party Candidate To Drop Out
TPMDC (blog) - Brian Beutler - ‎1-18-10
The Massachusetts Tea Party is working behind the scenes to make sure Scott Brown doesn't lose votes to...a libertarian candidate, beloved by many in the


In Haiti earthquake response, Bush distances himself from Cheney

CSMonitor - 1-18-10
Former Vice President Dick Cheney has been the Obama administration's chief critic, often fueling talk show hosts like Rush Limbaugh. But by agreeing to help President Obama raise money for victims of the Haiti earthquake, George W. Bush is playing by more genteel political rules.

Jon Stewart whips out a Bible on Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson
Entertainment Weekly - Annie Barrett - ‎Jan 15, 2010‎
On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart delved into more serious matters after comparing petrified Sarah Palin in the face of Glenn Beck to


"The government issued a statement this week saying most people aren't complaining about the full-body scanners. See, the government always says that. Every time there's another intrusion into our privacy, they say most people aren't complaining. Well, of course, most people aren't complaining. You know what happens when you complain at airport security? You get a colonoscopy and wind up on a terrorists watch list." –Jay Leno



The-World-Will-Be-A-Safer-Place-Without Saddam


"It's been reported that an 8-year-old boy from New Jersey is on the government's airport watch list because he has the same name as a possible terrorist. So, it's been a really bad week for little Skippy bin Laden." –Conan O'Brien

Revisiting Vietnam



A piece of shrapnel sliced Jerry Maroney's right leg. A bullet pierced Peter Holt's neck. Les Newell took a shot in the rump.

These old American soldiers recovered from the physical scars of combat long ago. But last week, they visited a place where people still have fresh wounds from the Vietnam War, which ended nearly 35 years ago.




Disturbing News


"Sarah Palin's doing a lot of public speaking, and next week, she will be in Las Vegas speaking at a liquor convention. And what a coincidence, because I think McCain was drunk when he picked her." –David Letterman



Putting A Curling Iron Where The Sun Doesn't Shine


Democrats made hay earlier today of the report of an ugly comment at a Scott Brown event: "Shove a curling iron up her butt" a crowd member shouted of Coakley in West Springfield.

The video above appears to show Brown smiling at the line and nodding, before returning to his message: "We can do this."





"Our good friend, Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, is a contributor to Fox News. Only been there a couple days. Already making friends. Today, she loaned Glenn Beck some mascara that does not run when you cry." –David Letterman


Republican-Shenanigans News


"I’m a middle-of-the-road kind of guy. I want the Democrats out of my pocket
and Republicans out of my bedroom. The one word I would use for what’s going on
in Washington is embarrassing."
- RON VAUGHN, who provides health insurance
to his 60 employees at Argonaut Wine and Liquor in Denver.


Bush's Poodle To Speak


Former prime minister Tony Blair will give long-awaited testimony to Britain's Iraq war inquiry on January 29, officials said Monday.

Blair, who controversially backed the US-led 2003 invasion of Iraq, will face a full day of questioning at the Chilcot inquiry, according to an updated schedule on the probe's website.



Rock-The-Voter News

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines



Conservative political icon Sarah Palin plans to attend the Feb. 14 Daytona 500.

The former governor of Alaska and 2008 running mate of Republican candidate John McCain requested credentials to attend the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series stock-car race.


William J. Lederer, co-writer of “The Ugly American” has died at the age of 97. Look for his legacy on any reality channel.- Laugh Lines




Ads by Google



Biz-Tech News


J.P. Morgan Chase is reportedly going to reward its employees with bonuses totaling $9.3 Billion. In order to try to make it look more palatable to the average American, the bonuses will be handed out as $500,000 gift cards to Wal-Mart.- Laugh Lines





"As you know, security is being upgraded at airports all across the country. They're really cracking down. In fact, today, Osama bin Laden's name was put on the do-not-fly list." –Jay Leno




"It's kind of sad to see what's happened to NBC. You know, when I was a young man, just beginning to blossom, my breasts were starting to fill out, NBC was number one. They had 'Cosby' and 'Cheers' and great shows. Now, they're a mess. Like going on your high school reunion and the homecoming king went bald and works in a lawn mower repair shop.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

Bush-Prison-Torture News


A report says Tiger Woods is undergoing rehab treatment in a sex clinic in Mississippi. Which means when he gets out, he will only be having affairs with his immediate family members.- Laugh Lines




Go-F**k-Yourself News


This is the Chinese Year of the Tiger –dare I take up golf?- Laugh Lines



Please keep All Hat No Cattle Online



Offline Donation - Lisa Casey - PO Box 88 - Ashford, AL 36312


 Email me

Odd News

To Help You Deflate Photo



Meet Beauregard. He's a local street dog who has been guarding my casa lately. This morning while I was outside watering my plants, Beauregard shows up all excited whimpering up a storm. He ran to my veranda and I quickly followed. He had injured the top of his nose. He had one small puncture and another scrape that is visible in the photo. I brought him some clean cool water and he quickly drank half of it. I cleaned up what Beauregard would let me. I wonder if he got into another fight or caught in a barbed wire fence. He fell fast asleep soon after I took this picture. He knows he's safe here.





Copyright Notice

NOTICE: No pixels were harmed in the production of this website.